From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd5676@hotmail.com>
To: jean chretien <pm@pm.gc.ca>
Date: Tuesday, April 1, 2003 8:53 AM
Subject: List of children with SARS swells, with two probable, three suspect cases» Federal government finally acknowledges Canadian troops are in Iraq» Landry steers clear of landmines, Charest strong in Quebec leaders’ debate
Dear Mr. Chrétien,
I had weird dreams last night; broken sculptures in the gallery, swimming though a maze of pipes amidst waterfalls and undertows, a netted bridge with cars and vans on it swaying in the harbour, and waterskiing (actually, more like running) with Joquim.
Had a great crit with Dan last night after work. The readings and associations he was making from the project astounded me; there was a depth to the queries I hadn’t quite been expecting. He has really got me to thinking about how the project could be perceived in its entirety. He also thinks I should be taking at least a full day a week to continue working on the paintings; he’s right.
I made salad and helped with the rice while Karina went to Sobeys to get some fish (luckily she was paid today), and then Karina made sushi while Dan and I talked. At times it turned into a group crit, with Mohanad and Karina and even Courtney involved. I really need this sort of feedback, as at times I get really nervous about the whole project; especially concerning privacy. Not necessarily my own, but others’. I have been debating censoring names from the letters (to protect the innocent); but I think I’ll wait until the exhibition goes up, and see then.
Yesterday was a good day at work, despite the heavy, heavy rain. I spoke to Dan W. on the phone and he was bailing water from his brothers’ basement. Spencer came by and we went to the bank and got cheques for the Fire Relief account. We issued cheques and called people but could only leave messages, and some of the numbers don’t work. Sally stopped by early on; she was dripping wet. She had walked from the community college. Last night was her first night in her new house in the country; she had got a drive into town early in the morning. Karina stopped by with Mohanad’s car; she wanted me to drive her the rest of the way to school and then take the car back. She had lots of lighting gear to return). The windshield wipers were still broken and visibility was nil; it was like driving with a cheesy Photoshop filter on the windshield.
So the US dropped about 3000 missiles in Iraq over the weekend, and I hear now that they are back to their old tricks, using DU (Depleted Uranium) missiles. These munitions are considered by many to be Weapons of Mass Destruction! How ironic (and everyone said that irony was dead after 9/11). But DU missiles, despite the long-term health risks they pose for civilians, are the weapon of choice for the US. Here is Army Colonel James Naughton describing all the pros of DU:
What we want to be able to do is strike the target from farther away than we can be hit back, and we want the target to be destroyed when we shoot at it. We don’t want to see rounds bouncing off. We don’t want to put our soldiers in the position that you see, if you watch “Kelly’s Heroes,” where they load tank rounds with paint in order to blind the target. And I’m sure everybody in here has probably seen “Kelly’s Heroes” once, because in World War II we faced a problem of not having the overreach we have today. We don’t ever want to go back to that. And we don’t want to fight even. Nobody goes into a war and wants to be even with the enemy. We want to be ahead, and DU gives us that advantage. We can hit, and they can’t hit us. During the Gulf War we had tanks engaged in situations with multiple Iraqi tanks that were shot, hit — not penetrated — and proceeded to destroy all three of the targets that engaged them, including shooting through a sandbag and destroying one of the Iraqi tanks. It really happened. That’s how much advantage it gives us. So we don’t want to give that up, and that’s why we use it.
Sounds great eh? Of course, US officials state there are no health risks (just don’t breathe the dust from impacts—usually no more than 50 meters around), and ignore any Iraqi claims (they are just jealous they don’t have DU themselves). Like Naughton says, “The Iraqis tell us terrible things happened to our people because you used it last time. Why do they want it to go away? They want it to go away because we kicked the crap out of them — okay? “
And what’s going on with the Canadian exchange soldiers? Now I hear they are in Iraq, alongside the “coalition” (UK and US) forces. I thought Canada was staying out of this invasion? What gives?
Gotta go, am almost late for work.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd5676@hotmail.com>
To: jean chretien <pm@pm.gc.ca>
Date: Wednesday, April 2, 2003 8:32 AM
Subject: SARS claims two more Canadians as death toll rises to six; case numbers rise» Air Canada asks court for bankruptcy protection from creditors» Ottawa says Air Canada rejected aid offer, instead sought private help
Dear Mr. Chrétien,
Spent another day descending into a bad mood. The mailout was delayed again as the small gala handbills wait in the queue at the printer. I didn’t get much work done on the books. I had to take another pay advance—I’m already midway through April—to pay rent this month. Went home for lunch and on the way back to work became convinced that I had lost the bank deposit book (I later found it at home, after back-tracking to the bank, the printer and rummaging around my desk). Felt disorganised and cranky. Was worried Kerry had forgotten the Kids class; the anxiety I feel around that program really gets to me. Was pissed off that the temperature had dropped again; for a brief time it snowed.
Had coffee with Sarah after work and talked about her trip to New York and her exploits there and her upcoming curatorial show at the eyelevel. She is having mood swings as well.
Came home for supper; cooked later on, after Karina awoke from a nap. She was up until about 6am. After supper she headed off to school and didn’t come home until this morning. She made me breakfast this morning, which was a nice treat.
Worked in the studio for a couple hours, but mostly cleaned and organized and thought about what has to be done for the show to come together. I am worried I won’t have enough oil paintings. And now that Dan has brought it up I’m worried about copyright; the copyright that exists for the newspaper photographs.
Spent more time on the computer reading alternative coverage of the war. Made an email invitation to our house party and sent it around. Went to bed and read more of A house for Mr. Biswas.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd5676@hotmail.com>
To: jean chretien <pm@pm.gc.ca>
Date: Thursday, April 3, 2003 8:00 AM
Subject: Canada’s SARS cases rise to 160; mandatory quarantine orders for two people» Province says worry about health costs later, keep focus on SARS emergency» Hong Kong plane under guard at Edmonton airport after SARS scare
Dear Mr. Chrétien,
I had to have an extra-long shower this morning to scrub the stench of cigarette smoke from my body. I stayed at the Club way after the Gala committee meeting had finished; Dan bought me beer. It got fairly crowded, all those hip hop kids and breakdancers heating up the place. And lots and lots of smoking. Dan and I ranted and raved about the war, filling one another in on all the real reasons for the invasions. I sent out a big email of an essay by Arundhati Roy that really sums up for me so many reasons this war is such bullocks. And then this morning I have to read lazy, lazy reporting of Paul Celluci “scolding” Canada yet again for not fighting with the Americans. Get a load of this pig dung:
MONTREAL (CP) — United States Ambassador Paul Cellucci scolded Canada again on Wednesday for refusing to support the war in Iraq while U.S. soldiers are killed or taken prisoner.
“It is an odd situation, when two countries are close as we are, that we would be fighting a war and losing men and having prisoners of war taken, not to have Canada with us,” Cellucci said at a news conference.
The ambassador also said it was “odd” that Canadian military ships and crews are in the Persian Gulf on anti-terrorist manoeuvres, even though the Canadian government officially opposes the war.
Is the man retarded? What did he think was going to happen to American soldiers sent to invade Iraq? Did they really, honestly and truly delude themselves into thinking they would really be greeted as liberators? That no one would put up a fight? That there would be no more “Black Hawk Down” (Hollywood is having a field day—so much new fodder for future war films! Oh, the Humanity!). And that now that the inevitable has happened, Canada would suddenly do a 180 and come to the rescue? Like cowboys? Like the “cowboy” American pilot who attacked a clearly marked UK tank? What a moron. Read the essay by Arundhati, it is such a breath of fresh air amidst all the gaseous drivel spouted by the US top brass and their puppet press. The URL is
http://www.guardian.co.uk/Iraq/Story/0,2763,927849,00.html
Anyway, I’m late. I have to get to work and call Peter to let him know I didn’t get any more work completed on the financial statements. He is scheduled to come over this morning but it may be a wasted trip for him.
Yesterday was OK; more Gala prep completed, the mailout sent, the front marquee box decorated, some correspondence made, some Turret bookings finalised, some bank deposits made. Ted completed the TV ad; it looks and sounds great. I’ve got to zip the tape up to CBC today so they can transfer it to Beta and get it into rotation.
Am going to try to get a load of stuff done today so I can take tomorrow off and paint.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd5676@hotmail.com>
To: jean chretien <pm@pm.gc.ca>
Date: Friday, April 4, 2003 9:57 AM
Subject: Seniors complex closed by spread of SARS; total Canadian dead now 7» Landry already acting like an opposition leader, Charest says» Canadians support Iraq invasion, Alliance leader Harper tells U.S. television
Dear Mr. Chrétien,
Postponed my meeting with Peter yesterday morning. I’ll have to do payroll manually this week (not a problem), and find the time to get the finances entered. Took a proof of the Gala posters to Allegra for printing yesterday. Ran the Dv tape to CBC and then received an email from Gregg, the tech, that I had taken it to the wrong building. I called the front desk and they had forwarded it for me. Sweet of them. Started feeling like Spring outside. Went home for lunch. Had many Turret appointments in the afternoon. Rebecca stopped by and we talked about the RAW art exchange and van trip to Toronto end of May. We walked home together and I had a small nap, then made some soup. We borrowed Mohanad’s car (the Festiva has been nicknamed “Roberta”) and went to the art opening at Bella Muse. It was my first time there. It is a funky place; a little jumbled, good use of recycled/re-used materials. A little confusing. Andrew said the building inspectors are still giving them a hard time, finding new criteria for them to meet. The lighting wasn’t great, but the floating walls were fun. Andrew had the best paintings in the show. Came home and read ‘zines from Courtney’s class. Karina came home; it felt like the first time I had seen her in days. She was up all night again.
Responded this morning to an email send to me by someone who had received my Arundhati Roy article. He found it way too one-sided and coming across as if Saddam was a Saint. I’ve posted it below, with some other links to good articles.
The following is from William Wohlforth, a professor of government at Dartmouth college and writer on American foreign policy:
The scholarly conventional wisdom holds that unipolarity is dynamically unstable and that any slight overstep by Washington will spark a dangerous backlash. I find the opposite to be true: unipolarity is durable and peaceful, and the chief threat is U.S. failure to do enough. Possessing an undisputed preponderance of power, the United States is freer than most states to disregard the international system and its incentives. But because the system is built around U.S. power, it creates demands for American engagement. The more efficiently Washington responds to these incentives and provides order, the more long-lived and peaceful the system.[3]
So if we all just roll over, let the US assign governments in any region it wants, and really let it brand the globe, peace and prosperity will follow. Such a nice, simple little Utopia. And isn’t it great that the US administration “hawks” seem to believe it to their very cores? Trouble is, that Utopia is insane.
Dan told me the other day that Iraq was going to / had started trading their oil in Euros, not American dollars (what would have happened had OPEC followed?), and that this was also a factor in the decision to go to war. Of course, Rumsfeld stated the US should go to war with Iraq on September 12, 2001, but that’s another story.
Apparently, of the over five hundred individuals in the Congress and the House of Representatives, only a small handful—less than half a dozen I think—have sons or daughters at war in the Gulf. I don’t suppose that could influence or sway one’s own personal opinion about going to war.
Anyway, am heading off to Pierceys to get supplies for the building cleanup. Following is my response to Todd and the links.
Hi Todd,
Thanks for sending your views. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not pro-Saddam, just anti-war. If such things as “public opinion”, guided through such potentially potent vehicles as the mainstream press, were constantly presenting the evils of his regime to the American public, and there was great public debate about what to do about the situation, then perhaps options to remove him could be presented. War, for me, is a last defense; a measure of self-preservation.
And what makes me angrier and angrier about this US-led invasion of Iraq is that it is what the current administration ‘hawks’ have wanted for years. It’s all in their blueprint for a Brave New World, American style.
Finger-pointing about who is more abusive to the Geneva Convention in the current theatre of war is almost a moot point at this time. It turns the press into referees and all of us into a cheering or jeering audience. It becomes more like watching a wrestling match than a war.
maybe the following sites will interest you:
http://www.newamericancentury.org/
http://www.aei.org/publications/pubID.16710,filter./pub_detail.asp
http://www.workingforchange.com/printitem.cfm?itemid=14769
http://pilger.carlton.com/print/124759
Oh, and another article by Arundhati Roy.
http://website.lineone.net/~jon.simmons/roy/010929ij.htm
-chris
Oh, and I just read that Stephen Harper is going to appear on Fox this weekend to announce the “silent majority” of Canadians support the war. I zipped off a quick reply to him:
Dear Stephen,
I personally do not agree with you that the “silent majority of Canadians”, outside of Quebec, support the US-led invasion of Iraq. I believe the majority of Canadians do not support the Saddam Husein regime, but they do not support war in this context.
I think it is ridiculous for you to appear on Fox TV and present these cock-eyed views. Just because you so desperately want and need a silent majority of Canadians to support this illegal war, saying so won’t make it happen. It is beyond wishful thinking; it is daydreaming.
This is an invasion with very clear American economic and political interests as its guide. I do not consider myself “anti-American”—but I am very much against the current administration consisting of George Bush and his cadre of war hawks.
Your own assaults on the Canadian government at this time are a complete embarrassment to yourself, your party and your region. Your particular brand of the “reform” movement will now begin to shrink into an isolationist and potentially seperatist provincial cause. Way to go.
Sincerely,
Chris Lloyd
Hey, if you go to the Reform—oops, Canadian Alliance (sorry, old habit I guess) Party webpage, and go to view Stephen’s personal message, this is what comes up:
english message title
Dear Canadians,
english message body
Yours truly,
Stephen Harper
All that and a big colour photo of Stephen. That says a lot. And at the end of his March 20 speech on Iraq in the House of Commons he mentions God way too many times. I don’t trust those bible-thumpers.
Anyway, I’ve got to go, am way late.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd5676@hotmail.com>
To: jean chretien <pm@pm.gc.ca>
Date: Saturday, April 5, 2003 9:50 AM
Subject: Glimmer of optimism in Ont. as more SARS patients discharged, few new cases» Toronto SARS containment measures questioned with apparent leak to Australia» Cellucci ‘grossly undiplomatic,’ says passionate Canadian nationalist
Dear Mr. Chrétien,
My big plan of taking Friday off to work in the studio was only partially successful. I was on the computer longer than I should have been in the morning, which held everything up. I borrowed Roberta and drove to Pierceys to get paint and painting supplies. I dropped the stuff off at the Khyber and managed to park Roberta in the little alleyway off the sidewalk; the Festiva is a perfect little fit. Got caught up in some office business and then picked Karina up from school. She needed cash for lunch, and today was payday (though I’m into my pay for two weeks from now already). Picked up some lunch from the Italian Market and then I had some time in the afternoon to work in the studio. Sliced a knuckle on my right hand open while tying up a garbage bag; someone had put broken glass in the trash. Took a nap midway through and read Harpers. Met Karina and Sally at the Khyber briefly; they were going to get facials at remedy Spa. Karina needs something relaxing, she has been working at a hectic pace and not sleeping much. Sally is in a similar boat, apparently; finishing off grants, working her two jobs, settling into her new house and having her father around. Picked up a Band-aid for my finger from the office when I checked in with Andréa.
Decided against going to the NSCAD public lecture series; I’m just not that familiar with Terry Winter’s work. Did get more work done in the studio; completed “A clear commitment to democracy, finished a smaller panel for the AIDS Saint John Auction, cleaned my oil palette, and gridded off and sketched in “PM introduces ethics overhaul” as well as “PM to Bush: hold off on war”. Felt like I had accomplished something.
Watched some TV. Mohanad had hooked up the cable and promptly fallen asleep on the couch. He got up close to midnight and asked me to drive him to Tribeca. Karina and I went to bed when I got back; it was the fist time in a long time I can recall going to bed at the same time. It felt odd, actually.
Mohanad had a post-Reflections adventure last night; he had been up all night talking and consoling a girl whose boyfriend was beaten up by the Reflections bouncers, the police and thrown in the drunk tank. Even the girl was mildly assaulted, just for being upset and concerned and crying. It was a lady police officer who pushed her though, so I guess that must make it OK in their handbook on police brutality.
Am going to drive to Roy’s Army Surplus and get an outfit to wear to the Forces of Good and Evil party. Am thinking of getting my hair cut to match. Will drive out to Home Depot and get some plywood as well; I’m getting low. And then there is the keg to pick up.
There is going to be a messy, icy winter storm sometime today or this evening. Just when we’ve had a small taste of Spring, Winter rears its ugly head. It will make the Gala CBC ad all the more pertinent though. Excellent.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd5676@hotmail.com>
To: jean chretien <pm@pm.gc.ca>
Date: Sunday, April 6, 2003 2:14 PM
Subject: SARS claims an eighth Toronto victim; another case appears unrelated» Winnipeg scientists pore over data in international battle against SARS» North American flights out of Toronto, Montreal cancelled due to ice storm
Dear Mr. Chrétien,
After a slow start—due mostly to the weather—our party started rockin’ and didn’t quit ’till late. The snow/rain/freezing rain/ice pellets started while I was out running my errands: buying groceries, getting the keg, getting an army outfit from Ron’s on Agricola. The roads were in pretty bad shape by evening. Most of us hung around the house all day and cleaned and organized. Sally was one of the first to arrive, and for a long time it seemed no one else would. Scott came at around ten, and then Jean Carlos—a co worker of Rebecca’s—came with a few of his friends from South America and Korea, and things started getting livelier after that. By about midnight it started feeling like a real party. People were smoking way too much. Not many people came in costumes; just myself, Karina as a cute pixie, Andrew Hunt in American boxers and Mr. Chipman in a dessert storm cap and crass American T-shirt. Emily tried to convince me she was in costume because of a little US insignia on the logo for her jeans. I was in an odd mood; I think it may have been the army outfit. Dressing in combats for the first time in almost ten years was a weird experience for a party. Sarah ended up staying over with us again; it was about 5am (counting the time change) when we heard everyone finally leave, and past 6:30 when we finally crashed.
I was up bright and early to make sure Sally got up for her dance workshop; she had stayed over on one of the couches (peter on the other—his usual, I think). The kitchen was a mess but didn’t take long to clean. I offered water and Tylenol and made fruit smoothies and received compliments on the quality of service at our B & B. I think I enjoyed cleaning up and helping get people up more than the party itself; or maybe it is the part of the party I like best. Weird. My head feels tender; we just about polished off that keg. Sally had a class at 10 but had told everyone she needed to be there at 9:30 to give her a buffer. Sarah got up next, and I made coffee. Mohanad and Rebecca were up shortly after but Karina stayed in bed while we headed out for breakfast. The Danube was still closed; I think they forgot about the time change. We headed to the Paper Chase on Blowers instead, which was a much better choice. Their menu has slowly but steadily grown and improved; breakfast was delicious (though the egg burritos contained meat. I ate it anyway).
Made breakfast for Karina when we got home. Sally came by and Karina borrowed Roberta and they drove off to shoot some dance video out at Sally’s place. Andrew came over and everyone has sort of been hanging out in the living room. Someone used the Xmas window snow to draw a penis on one of our front windows. Lyndon saw it and flipped out, and now Mohanad is going to clean it off.
Am going to work in the studio and then maybe have a nap. Or just have a nap. Or watch Wiz, that version of the Wizard of Oz starring Michael Jackson and Diana Ross. Mohanad rented it. There is a big Drawing Club meeting tonight as planning continues for the St. Mary’s exhibition. I have to make sure I get to see 40 Part Motet before it closes next weekend.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd5676@hotmail.com>
To: jean chretien <pm@pm.gc.ca>
Date: Tuesday, April 8, 2003 7:01 AM
Subject: SARS death toll rises to 10, possibly 11; findings on virus source puzzling» Hypochondriacs go overboard as paranoia over SARS ratchets up» Ottawa in for ‘serious fight’ with Quebec Liberals on tax money: Charest
Dear Mr. Chrétien,
I’ve been up for a couple hours already; Karina, as usual, was up almost all night and woke me by accident coming to bed this morning. I’ve been sleeping with earplugs in lately; she thought that taking one of them out would help me hear the alarm better. I decided to take advantage of being up so early to check out the web. Following are some snippets which caught my eye:
ELUSIVE PROOF
Proving a link between Saddam and Islamists in a region not controlled by the Iraqi leader will be difficult for the Bush administration. Iraq’s Kurdish minority has controlled the north for a decade, though Saddam’s intelligence agents regularly pass back and forth, according to Kurdish officials.
Saddam is a secularist leader who banished the fiery brand of Islam familiar to al-Qaida followers. Still, U.S. officials say the Saddam and the religious extremists have been drawn together by their common anti-American positions.
Sources familiar with the ongoing U.S. effort to tie al-Qaida to Saddam say they are confident the evidence gathered so far in northern Iraq will eventually confirm a relationship.
Don’t you just love that with everything else that is going on there is a ‘US effort to tie al-Quaida to Saddam’—almost like looking for proof to substantiate what a majority of Americans already believe.
And you have to love the list of headlines on the mainstream pages. List after list of “detailed” war reports. War as entertainment.
• Complete MSNBC coverage
• Exclusive: Ansar’s terror toxins
• The Experts: Iraqi ingenuity
• Iraqi ambush described
• U.S. looks for al-Qaida link
• Jordan’s worries over war
• Arab channels show clout
• Dispatches from the field
• Video coverage from NBC
• Blog: Army family’s journal
• Encarta: Detailed Iraq map
• WashPost: Special coverage
LATEST FROM NEWSWEEK
• Special war section
• Saving Private Lynch
Isn’t it fortuitous that the movie ‘Saving Private Ryan’ exists so the press can make current connections?
• The grunts’ war
and on the front page:
TARGET: IRAQ
•Joyous reception for British in Basra
•WP: Volunteers clean up carnage
•Tests show chemicals not weapons
•New bin Laden tape urges attacks
•Bush, Blair open third war summit
•Iraq’s ‘Chemical Ali’ may be dead
•Cosmic Log: Seeking Saddam’s DNA
• The Experts: Iraq’s north poses risks
•War diary: To die for Saddam?
Where are the investigations, the ruminations and speculations on the larger meanings behind the war? Where is the questioning of government policy? War becomes like the air we breathe; once immersed in it why question it? It becomes the natural state; it simply is. Then news becomes trivial; so-and-so found dead; numerous unnamed civilian casualties; we lost another helicopter, another airplane; this many bombs were dropped; here’s another map.
THE TIMES POLL
Support of U.S. Military Role in Mideast Grows
Americans’ backing for Bush rises; many might endorse action against Iran or Syria.
Great, let’s just keep the ‘Democracy War Machine’ rolling. Why stop at Iraq? There are dozens and dozens of countries that don’t quite resemble the US enough. Send in the troops!
38: In a 2002 poll, percentage of Americans who said Canada should be annexed.
$850 billion: Estimated military spending in the world in 2002.
50: Percentage spent by U.S.
50: Percentage of weapons entering the global market that come from American firms.
10: Percentage of U.S. military spending that would provide global population with basic necessities.
The rhetoric of US soldiers is often provocative. An American colonel, asked what the role of the Fifth Corps would be, replied: “We are going in there. We are going to root out the bad guys and kill them.” His men whooped and punched the air as if they were watching a football match.
War as entertainment—like sports. The best owners with the best talent using the best toys.
Post-war power
————————————————————————
US begins the process of ‘regime change’
It was reported yesterday that the National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice has also ruled out any key role for the UN.
The decision to proceed with an embryonic government comes in response to memoranda written by Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld last week, urging that the US begin to entrench its authority in areas under its control before the war is over.
Pentagon officials told The Observer that the administration is determined to impose the Rumsfeld plan and sees no use for a UN role, describing the international body as ‘irrelevant’.
Of course in their eyes the UN is irrelevant—it would naturally oppose underlying plans for US global imperialism.
Latest News
Air strike targets Saddam
The question of whether President Saddam Hussein was alive or dead hung over the capital Tuesday after a U.S. warplane dropped four bunker-busting bombs and blasted a crater 18-metre deep at a spot where he was believed to be meeting with his sons.
Sorry, this story is no longer available.
Anyway, Enough about all that. I’ve completely neglected to inform you of what I’ve been up to the past couple days. Here’s a quick rundown: Sunday night Drawing Club was fun. Lots of drawings were produced, as usual. Dressed up in my militia outfit and posed for my website portrait. And yesterday work was work. Managed to get all the petty cash entries in; am close to having the books up to date, though there is a fair bit of KDMC entries to make. Andréa was in for the afternoon so I was able to work on the accounting most of the day. I went to the AGNS at 1pm for a meeting with Ray but he wasn’t in and of course the gallery was closed (Monday). The multiple bookings went smoothly over the weekend and the Turret room was all set up for the launch of the new NSCAD student publication SoTA. I went to the openings at Anna and the Khyber briefly and headed home early for supper with Karina. She had been videotaping Sally doing an improvised dance on the sidewalk across the street, interacting and mingling amongst bus stop pedestrians. Karina is using the footage on her website. After a thrown-together sort of supper I spent the rest of the evening in the studio making good progress on a new painting.
Anyway, I’d better make some breakfast before work.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd5676@hotmail.com>
To: jean chretien <pm@pm.gc.ca>
Date: Thursday, April 10, 2003 7:17 AM
Subject: Officials ‘frustrated’ by those not isolating themselves after SARS exposure» Chretien says no need to call Bush after U.S. troops achieve Baghdad success» Pataki says he was ‘stunned’ by recent booing during American national anthem
Dear Mr. Chrétien,
Had a long day at work yesterday and stayed later than I expected. Worked on Gala and programming and renovation plans most of the day. Skipped lunch for the second day in a row. It looks as if we will try and get the Club floor replaced before the Gala; talked with Mohanad and Craig about scheduling work around opening times. Had a couple beer after work with Spencer. He had stopped by the office to fill out an on-line WHMIS form. Ray hasn’t called back. Put a small painting in the mail for the AIDS Saint John fundraiser. Emily came by and helped with reminder forms for NSCAD faculty. Did a lot of email. Talked to a local stone carver in the Club about submissions, CARFAC and artist-run centres in general; it was all new to him. I get a little too wrapped up in this world sometimes and forget not everyone knows about it. Karina and I came home for supper and I made a chili-peanut-basil sauce for pasta. It was late; after nine when we ate. I worked in the studio for a couple hours then went to bed.
Had weird war dreams last night (which were weird because they involved watching war on TV, not actually being there). In one I was arguing with my mom in a Robert v. sort of way; passionate and sort of high-strung and emotional. With the apparent fall of Baghdad and warm reception (?) from Iraqis, it gets harder to speak against the sheer ridiculousness of the situation, but it still is. People have short media memories; if everything runs relatively smooth from hear on in (less bombing, less civilian casualties, Saddam’s head on a silver platter, Wolfowitz of Arabia on the throne) I fear the anti-war voice will grow dimmer and dimmer. No longer fashionable (though the media and Canadian Alliance—can you believe those nuts?—have been trying as hard as they can to make it unfashionable anyway). But the invasion is still wrong; setting up a puppet US/Iraqi government won’t work. And who is next? What an awful precedent (not the illegal invasion part; just the sheer size and scope and audacity of it, now. Isn’t it the third millennium? 2003? War? Ground troops? Cluster bombs? Where exactly is my cleanly fuelled, low emission private hovercraft and twenty-hour workweek?). It is so frustrating because it seems so obvious to me that this whole invasion/war/occupation thing is just so wrong, yet the dumb-asses are in the drivers seat. Ha-a new ad campaign for the war popped into my head: “the world—built for drivers”.
Karina was up all night working on her flash animations and WebPages. She animated a section of the recording she had taken of Sally dancing improv on the sidewalk; the animation is really nice and clever.
Am off to have a shower then breakfast then work.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd5676@hotmail.com>
To: jean chretien <pm@pm.gc.ca>
Date: Friday, April 11, 2003 7:08 PM
Subject: Landry says sovereignty fight will go on as Liberals expand lead in two polls» Chretien appoints new junior minister, shuffles top bureaucrats» Ships searching for terrorists in gulf could go to horn of Africa: commodore
Dear Mr. Chrétien,
Finally had a meeting with Ray this afternoon. Measured the fourth floor gallery; it will work fine. I think the show will look better; I’m not really fond of temporary walls. The Temporary walls that are up there are more permanent, and will hold the newer letters nicely; the long wall to the left is over 60 feet long and is plenty of space for the past letters; and the end wall and small wall to its immediate right will hold the paintings. We also talked about the invite, the brochure and an advance on my fee, which I can get next week. It is up to me to send you the official invitation for the show.
Was a bit late for a brief meeting with Larissa and Dan at my house to discuss additional money-making schemes for the night of the Gala. We decided not to have any, since people are already paying at the door and we want them to buy art as well. We did come up with a list of potential door prizes.
The move to refurbish the Club floor intensified today. Mohanad and I drove out to Nova Flooring and bought a couple tons of oak hardwood. It took three trips with Lyndon’s truck. I am pissed off at Lyndon; our March heating bill is over $700. It is completely unacceptable; it is almost as much as heating the Khyber, and not even as comfortable. The bedrooms are freezing cold, as is the washroom and hallway and kitchen. The only room that holds any heat is the living room, and that is because it is directly overtop the inefficient furnace. The house is poorly insulated. What annoys me the most is that we can’t bring this up to Lyndon because Mohanad will get shit on at work. I can see why Bev and Jackson had to move, and why they left with a $900 outstanding oil bill. I’m thinking of doing the same. Actually, I don’t have much choice, seeing as how broke we all are.
Made a “Super Tuber” soup, as Courtney called it; carrots, sweet potato, potato and turnip. Yummy. Karina went off to have a nap; she had been up all night again, working on her website until 2pm. She was late for her final crit and Bob advised her to start over from scratch. Courtney is sleeping, too; his final crit was over his robot table, which he was up all night working on. I’m going to go off and have a nap as well; I am helping Mohanad install the raised stage at one end of the Club tonight after it closes. Am going to watch the rest of the Noam Chomsky DVD I bought last week and kept forgetting at work. It is of a lecture he gave at Harvard regarding the logical impossibility of the so-called “war on terror.”
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd5676@hotmail.com>
To: jean chretien <pm@pm.gc.ca>
Date: Sunday, April 13, 2003 10:21 AM
Subject: Charest gets pied while political opponents try to land political blows» Canadian laboratory first to sequence coronavirus believed to cause SARS» Over 100 boats take part in first day of annual seal hunt off Nfld.
Dear Jean,
Karina and I were sitting in the kitchen yesterday when her mom called to let Karina know that her dad was putting money into her bank account. Yay! Surprise money never hurts. I went shopping for groceries later in the evening. In the afternoon Sally came over in her new car—a snazzy little Honda wagon—and drove us to St. Mary’s to see (hear) the Janet Cardiff show. I was surprised at how many people were there; it felt more like an opening than the second-last day of an exhibit. The music is beautiful, and really fills the space, coming from the 40 individual speakers. I was a little disappointed in the great big pillar in the middle of the installation, but there wasn’t much to be done about it. Sally was attending a workshop so drove us home after two viewings. Had leftover supper and watched the Wiz. Didn’t do much else for the evening.
Am heading into work today to help with the annual spring cleaning and some painting. Mohanad has a big green carpet for the new stage. Craig seems to like the stage, which is great. He has already moved the exit sign. Mohanad is patching the floor in places today, then he and his team are laying the new sub-floor tonight after the club closes. I a hoping to not be there all day so I can get some work done in the studio tonight.
Congratulations on your forty years in government. Global news online loves to hear from all sorts of crazed lunatics, usually of the redneck, right-wing persuasion, and there are some great postings about your legacy. Here are a few:
Name: james
E-mail: crazyoo35006@yahoo.ca
Occupation: truck driver
Location: edmonton,alta
I think chretien was the most disappointing prime minister of canada.he was an embarrasement to the canadian ppl.Thanks to chretien,the americans are pee’d off at the canadians for not supporting the iraqi war.Its to bad george bush isnt the prime minister of canada,at least he isnt a cowardly politican like chretien is.As soon as chretien steps down as prime minister,i betcha everyone in canada is gonna celebrate,to make it short,im not gonna lose any tears over his retirement.
(Ed. note: this guy’s spelling and grammar is worse than mine! Maybe he wrote while driving his truck?)
Name: Dave Sloane
E-mail: dlsloane@shaw.ca
Occupation: Truck driver
Location: Calgary Alberta
I’ll remember this prime minister as a follower and not a leader. He has a well financed machine of liberals telling him what to do and say. I support the strike against Iraq and if necessary any other nation that supports terrorist groups. Our wimps in Ottawa back down at the first sign of trouble. Maybe I don’t know all the facts, but don’t count me in when you turn your back on our friends. Sorry to see you go Johnny boy…..not.
(Ed. note: Dave here is in a bit of a contradictory spot. He doesn’t want to be counted in when Canada turns its back on the illegal invasion of Iraq by the US, yet he supports strikes on any nation that supports terrorist groups. Yet it is arguable that the US administration itself is a terrorist group (and has been for at least a couple decades): it has invaded and attacked numerous countries over the years to “protect its’ interests”—sort of what terrorists do. The US practice what Chomsky calls state-sponsored terrorism)
Name: ARNOLD
E-mail: al.zezula@shaw.ca
Occupation:
Location: OUT WEST
WHO IS THIS GUY? A GUY THAT HAS SCREWED WESTERN CANADA! THANK GOD HE IS GOING TO RETIRE !SOONER THE BETTER !
(Ed. note: Arnold’s use of all-caps makes me think he has a Schwartzenegger (sp?) complex. Another apparent disgruntled Westerner; there seem to be a lot of them in the responses)
Name: SW BATTEN
E-mail: swbatten@hotmail.com
Occupation: student
Location: Toronto
Pres. Bush is a great leader, Chretien is completely opposite. He is un embarasement to Canada!! It is with great regret that he is our leader. I am a proud Canadian of the past when we would help to liberate Coutries such as in WWII. Todays Canada is just embarassing, I look forward to leaving Canada and moving to a place such as the Untied States of America!! Now thanks to the U.S and Brits dieing Iraq is free of Saddam, no thanks to Canada!! God Bless them all!!
(Ed. note: All I can say here is if this is what “brain drain” looks like, then I’m all for it! Maybe this young chap can join the US Marines and help “liberate” all those Arab and Asian and African countries! Go team! Watch your back though; didn’t most Brits in Iraq die from US friendly fire?)
Anyway, there are more (lots more) but I’m out of time and it does get a little repetitive after a while (especially the posts from Alberta; venemous!) And, just to let you know, about every one in five or six posts were positive; not bad for such a right-wing forum.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd5676@hotmail.com>
To: jean chretien <pm@pm.gc.ca>
Date: Monday, April 14, 2003 8:33 AM
Subject: Dumont says his party will surprise people in the Quebec election Monday» Charest promises to respect sovereigntists if he becomes Quebec premier» Dumont, Landry, Charest all race through many Quebec ridings before election
Dear Mr. Chrétien,
Just had a computer crash as I was finishing my letter to you. What a pain; I hadn’t saved first. Now I have to try to remember what I wrote. Got up this morning and drove to the Club to pick Mohanad and Courtney up; they had been laying the sub-floor all night long. Even just the plywood is a huge improvement over the decaying tiles.
Spent yesterday afternoon at the Khyber painting the boys washroom and other odd fix-ups. A new volunteer named Bobek helped out. He recently moved here from Iran—he had jumped ship, so to speak. We talked about politics and the armed forces; he had served his compulsary two years in the Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps, which is apparently the more extremist wing. Larissa came and helped patch holes and Spencer came and helped paint over grafitti in the women’s washroom. I invited Spencer home for supper and a preview of the paintings; Andréa came as well. Sarah was already at the house when we arrived; she had been at eyelevel all day striking Red’s exhibit and had come over early for Drawing Club. They all stayed for supper; we made a buffet-style spread of boiled root veggies, salad, avocado hummus and pita, and steak and salmon. Drawing Club was packed; at one point the two Andrews, the two Sarahs, Courtney, Rebecca, Andréa, Isadora, Brent, Jim, Tamara, Peter, David and Eleanor were all packed into the living room. I helped with drawings too but also completed the lettering for the paintign “Social spending leads to biggest budget increase since Trudeau era”—not exactly a succinct headline that rolls off the tongue. Stayed up fairly late and we left the living room in quite a dishevelled state. Rebecca is starting to get annoyed with the gratuitous “cock and ball” drawings.
It’s amazing at how quickly the Iraq news stories get relegated to its own little area; if you log onto some of the mainstream news sites you might miss Iraq reports altogether. The big Canada.com headline is of a leftie (left-handed, not a commie) winning the Masters. It’s big on CNN too. And even if you dig for stories you get the same old Hollywood-formatted gack: Action/Adventure versions of Marines storming Tikrit and rescuing POWs; sensitive Bush visiting wounded soldiers— A senior administration official said Bush views such visits as “a vital part of his job” and that they were difficult because in many cases the injuries suffered are severe. Severe? Severe? Reading about Iraqi civilian deaths and casualties of the US-led invasion is severe. Oh, but it’s hard to find any mention of those in the mainstream media. CNN provides a daily updated list of US casualties—complete with handy little mugshot—but no mention of Iraqis. Why is that? Maybe because it would make the “liberation” harder to digest for those who are only mildly supportive of war (those that are gung-ho pro-war always will be, it seems). If you check out
http://www.cursor.org/stories/iraq.html you’ll find a different story. Following are a few selections:
Intermezzo #1. Commander Jeff Penfield of a F/A-18 Super Hornet aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln after a Friday of bombing Baghdad with 1,000 lb. laser-guided ‘precision’ bombs, reflected,
“It was exhilarating…It was all nice and calm in the city…[but] once those bombs hit all hell broke loose. I bet we saw 15 SAMs. About three or four up our way so we had to defend a couple of times. What I felt more than anything was exhilaration.”5
Ikhlas Faiq, 25, who was treated later at the Al Noor hospital, recalls “When the rocket came, the whole area became dark. For a few minutes I couldn’t see a thing. When I opened my eyes, I saw bodies and parts of bodies everywhere I looked.”11
By late evening, 52 corpses passed through the al-Noor hospital. Even the battle-hardened doctors at Noor said this US attack marked a fresh descent into horror, “There were limbs torn off, and burns, multiple shrapnel injuries, head and chest injuries….[doctor Tarif Jamil said] ‘I saw about six children – all dead – and at least three women.”12
A report describes the scene at Janabiyah, where U.S. ‘precision’ weapons hit: “Kids became ‘human torches’.”18
“Bloodied school books and children’s shoes lie amidst animal carcasses on the road leading to the Ismail’a farm in this village…the main building of this hamlet, accessible via a checkpoint manned by militiamen, has been leveled, the second burned out and the third partially destroyed. A neighbor told an AFP journalist that two missiles fired by coalition warplanes on Saturday night caught five sleeping families on the farm. The raid left 20 people dead….littered amongst the rubble spread over the grass were carcasses of four cows, their eye, nose and mouth cavities blackened by swarms of flies. Two dogs, sheep and chickens lay motionless nearby. “Five children were turned into human torches in this house because of the gas cylinders inside,” one of the survivors said, wondering how God spared him while four other family members were wounded. “Their bodies protected me because I was in a corner.”
On March 31st, U.S. Marines in a Bradley fighting vehicle machine-gunned to death, 11 Afghan civilians at a U.S. Army check point on Route 9 near Najaf. The Iraqi family of 17 had left their village, packed into a 1974 Land Rover, wearing their best clothes for the trip through the American lines “to look American.” At least seven women and children died in the assault on a vehicle filled with civilians – Bakhat Hassan, 35, said from his hospital bed that he lost 11 members of his family [two daughters aged 2 and 5, a son aged 3, his parents, two older brothers and their wives, and two nieces aged 12 and 15].23 His wife, Lamea, 36, who is nine months pregnant, said she saw her three children die, saying “I saw the heads of my two girls come off. …my girls, I watched their heads come off their bodies. My son is dead.”
Intermezzo #4. Some 15 vehicles including a minivan and a couple trucks blocked the road to the bridge in Nasiriya. The vehicles were riddled with bullet holes. Some had caught fire and turned into piles of black twisted metal. Others still burned. Mark Franchetti of The Times, counted 12 dead Iraqi civilians. The civilians had fled over the bridge and run into a group of shell-shocked young American marines. They fired. Corporal Ryan Dupre later expressed the satisfaction felt by some of his fellow marines. He said, “The Iraqis are sick people and we are the chemotherapy. I am starting to hate this country. Wait till I get hold of a friggin’ Iraqi. No, I won’t get hold of one. I’ll just kill him.”25
Kim Sengupta or the Independent visited Manaria, a dusty farming village in Mohammedia district, about 50 kms. south of Baghdad,26 where a U.S. missile fell on the dusty ground outside of 13-year-old Samar Hussein’s home Saturday morning. It left a small crater and pockmarks of shrapnel damage scattered across the walls of her house and the family’s battered Toyota Cressida. Samar’s mother, Hamida, 40, had just told Samar not to go outside. Wiping her eyes with her black chador, Hamida recounted,
“She just fell. I could see blood coming from her stomach. She was gasping, and as I ran to her she was crying, ‘Mama, Mama’….It was so terrible….There were others also hurt, and everyone was crying and screaming. We had to wait for a car because ours was so badly damaged. But I knew my Samar would not last until we got to the hospital. And that is what happened….she died in my arms…”
And most of these civilian casualties are a result of “smart bombs”; precision munitions that are supposed to be taking out military targets. Apparently they are causing almost three times as many civilian casualties than Gulf War ’91. I think it is despicable. I’m sort of glad Bush postponed his visit. If he ever does decide to come, we should arrest him for war crimes.
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd5676@hotmail.com>
To: jean chretien <pm@pm.gc.ca>
Date: Saturday, April 19, 2003 9:21 AM
Subject: Faithful set aside fear of SARS to attend Good Friday church services» B.C. translates SARS Internet bulletins to Chinese, Punjabi, Vietnamese» Martin won’t be “Quebec-obsessed” in wake of Charest win: strategists
Dear Mr. Chrétien,
Was in a foul mood yesterday, even though I avoided going down to the Khyber. Thought some of my bad mood could be attributed to over-saturation of that place. After work Thursday I stopped at the Richard Weisman book-launch at Argyle, but only stayed for a few minutes. Wasn’t feeling too social. Made supper and then had a long nap before Eleanor picked me up at 11:30; she had invited me onto her radio show, Artsmarts, at CKDU. It was fun; we talked about the Khyber and the Gala and veered off-topic a few times to talk about the invasion of Iraq and the current administration links to oil companies like Bechnel (sp?). The show went until 2am. When I got home Courtney told me that Craig had called to say that some drunk guy had punched out one of the front door windows at the Khyber. My stress level rose.
So I managed to spend all of Good Friday at home, and worked most of the time in the studio. Did some housecleaning—the kitchen was a disaster. Had coffee and read Harper’s. Made some headway in the studio. But was in a listless mood; some old feelings are re-surfacing and once embroiled in them I lose objectivity and common sense and can’t deal with it. Beyond telling myself I’m being foolish or silly or irrational or mean, but what can one do? They are feelings, after all, and hard to make rigid and conforming to nice little rules and laws that govern our behavior. Maybe it will subside, or pass, like last time. Though the therapy had helped. Am thinking about broaching the topic with Karina straight away; might as well be honest with her. She will probably understand, seeing as she has a similar crush on Sally as well.
So to clear up my melancholy I strolled around the corner to the video store and rented a couple movies. Started on The Seventh Seal. Not a really uplifting movie but it did parallel a lot of current events in an eerie way: the black plague (SARS), the Crusades (new US imperialism in the Middle East), art, love, life and death. I don’t know if I felt any better after watching it but I certainly didn’t feel worse.
Was hoping to avoid the Khyber again today but I left the office a mess on Thursday and left no clear instructions for Andréa, so am going in for a bit this morning and early afternoon. Am also meeting Mohanad as he is laying the rest of the quarter-round in the Club. We were going to put on extra coats of Varathane last night or today but I have no desire to make extra work for myself. I need to get painting supplies for myself today so I can continue studio work. Spencer is coming in tomorrow and Monday to take some of the pressure off me as well. There are lots of volunteers coming in to help install; everything will be fine, I should stop stressing out.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd5676@hotmail.com>
To: jean chretien <pm@pm.gc.ca>
Date: Monday, April 21, 2003 11:40 PM
Subject: Health workers, lauded as SARS heroes, come under fire for spreading virus» GO commuters face SARS worries after nurse with symptoms rode trains» Experimental SARS test performed on 3 suspect cases, results negative
Dear Mr. Chrétien,
Spent Sunday installing work in the gallery. Kevin, Nikki, a HAPI kid—I forget his name, Andréa, Spencer and Shawn were all in and about helping out. The show looks good but there was still more work to come in today and the gallery was a mess when we left it. Had a quick supper of leftovers and then walked to SMU, putting posters up along the way. Spent the evening in the gallery with the Drawing Club crew. The space is a bit overwhelming; drawing and painting supplies are everywhere, there are spills on the plastic covering the floor, and there are so many drawings all over the walls. Hard to find a point to just start working. Ended the night throwing a bucket of paint at a bad figure drawing and then Andre3w and Mike and I took running leaps up the wall smearing the paint with our hands. Both Mike and I had tumbles on the floor. Went out for a few beers at Rogues Roost afterwards.
Today was insane. Started off OK; Had breakfast at home with Peter (he had missed his bus last night and stayed on the couch; we talked about books), worked on installation in the gallery, and Spencer came in soon to help. Put up a slew of posters at the DHBC windows. Talked to patti kim about binding my letters for the AGNS show. She had good suggestions but there is a lot of prep work I need to get done next week. Ran into Heather on Dresden Row after lunch and made plans for her to drive Spencer and I around decorations and gallery supplies shopping. Went to Fabricville (which seemed to take forever; the pace there is not what I’m used to: friendly, leisurely, casual. No rush. Fold that fabric a dozen times to get it right), then Costco. The hugeness of that place always weirds me out (been there 3 times in my life). Everything is oversized, or comes in bundles of 3-12. Who needs 3 cans of oversized WD-40? Spencer hadn’t eaten so we hit up as many of the sample ladies as possible (they were all older ladies. There was a platoon of them about, stationed at every isle). Couldn’t find tablecloths so we just bought gallery food for the opening instead.
Got back to the gallery and there was new work that had arrived and the bid sheets weren’t complete and the lighting needed to be done and the clock was a-ticking. It was down to the wire, worse than ever. Just before the opening Sarah Milroy from the Globe called to say they wanted to run a feature on my letter-writing project as well as pick my brain for local, emerging artists (emerging as in Alex Morrison, not Brian Jungen; they are trying to carve out a new level). I gave her some names but told her I’d have to call her back. And after all that work a dismal turnout; less than 2 dozen. Hindsight is 20/20: we should have had the opening tomorrow, because of the holiday today. Oh well. Had a couple beer in the Club. Bough cigarettes to replace the ones I am constantly bumming: not a good sign. Talked with Sym and Helen, talked with Andrew about Belgium or something or other that reminded me of how tired I was and I almost fell asleep, and then walked home with Briony.
Karina was in a bad mood when I got home; she was in the bath, stressed and anxious. PMS? Overdue research papers? Lack of communication with me? Running out of medication? Time will tell. She needs to computer to continue working; I need to get some sleep and prepare for a better day tomorrow. I’m becoming the old surly, jaded person I was back in December. That mood is like a vortex; once inside it is hard to get out.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd5676@hotmail.com>
To: jean chretien <pm@pm.gc.ca>
Date: Wednesday, April 23, 2003 2:12 AM
Subject: SARS death toll rises to 15 as Ontario promises help to fight spread» Toronto a city of pariahs as SARS fear around the world continues to mount» Federal government must pay 90 per cent of SARS costs, Copps says
Dear Mr. Chrétien,
Today started typically—though I slept through the snooze button a few times more than usual—I was at work by nine with a full thermos (borrowed from Courtney) of thick dark coffee. Early on I received a phone call from one of the individuals who had lost his business in the Gottingen Street fire. He became understandably upset to hear that we had decided to distribute the funds raised to those that were living in apartments there, and not the businesses. It was assumed that the businesses would have to have insurance to operate. Well, apparently that wasn’t the case and he became more and more irate, and threatened to go to the media and say how he was being treated so unfairly and how we were such an awful organization to make such a bad decision. He played a huge guilt trip on me, to the point of making me feel bad for a.) setting up the fund in the first place, b.) having an office (the luxury!), c.) working for a non-profit organization that receives government funding (how dare we?!) and I think he even cursed me at one point. I was so “shocked and awed” that I actually sat at my desk and cried—I mean bawled like a friggin’ baby—for about ten minutes, until someone came up the stairs and went into the media centre and I composed myself because you know that boys don’t cry. What a start to the day. Luckily we had a board meeting later tonight and we decided to give him the same amount of money everyone else received (lucky there is enough in the account to cover it). I mean, I feel bad for him losing his business and I’m sure if we had talked about it the board could have been convinced to re-examine the earlier decision, but the way this happened just leaves a really bad taste in one’s mouth. Anyway, despite the awful start to the day—which almost made me want to quit then and there—the rest of he day went fine. Spencer came in to help, Elizabeth stopped by a couple times, Shawn helped with more basement cleanup, Mohanad took a load of crap to the dump, Craig had hired Gabe to continued to clean and organize the Club and hang paintings on the wall, lots of visitors came into the gallery, Jane came by and wanted a couple pictures for this week’s Sure Thing in the Coast, Sally and Gamaliel came by to look at the Turret space, made calls to Tour Tech about lights and MacFarlands about tables and cloths. A busy, full day. Grabbed a quick lunch at Tim Hortons before the board meeting. Afterwards did some rushed email to get an image to Storme for the next Visual Arts News magazine; they wanted to run something that coincided with my AGNS show. All I had on file was a blurry photo of the “$25-billion legacy” painting. Sat and had beer in the Club with the post-board gang. Talked with Denton and Alex, who had some very nice things to say about me and the Khyber which sort of balanced out the call from this morning. It doesn’t erase the fact that we live in a perpetual state of doubt, however.
Karina seemed in a better mood when I got home (after heavily postering Spring Garden Road; 2 rolls of packing-tape). She went to the clinic tonight but couldn’t see anyone: she had arrived right at 7pm (when it opens for evening drop-in) and there were already 30 people in line. Ahhh, the state of health care for the non-millionaires of the country. She did manage to get her prescription filled. Hopefully her anxiety will subside and she will be able to concentrate on her papers.
It’s getting too late to go into any more detail.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd5676@hotmail.com>
To: jean chretien <pm@pm.gc.ca>
Date: Tuesday, April 29, 2003 8:45 PM
Dear Mr. Chrétien,
Somehow managed to wake up shortly past nine o’clock this morning and took a cab home to change. Grabbed a coffee from Steve-o-reno’s on my way down to the Khyber. I wasn’t feeling hungover as I hadn’t had much to drink; just a little tired from the two-hour nap. We had all stayed up quite late having one of those “art and society and what it all means” conversations, the kind that often spring up after having smoked a joint, though for me this felt like the first conversaion like this in a long while. I had this idea that seemed great at the time about billing an event or exhibition as “your tax dollars at work”, and let the resultant media coverage and typical meathead complaints open up a dialogue about the place of art in society. Sarah talked me out of it; the art world is on the defensive, even as it continues to try to win new audiences. Hard to sound justified asking for more money when Health and Education have been slashed to the bone for so long.
Josh, a volunteer with HAPI (Halifax Anti-Poverty Associattion), came in to help clean up this morning; he was there promptly at ten. He and other HAPI volunteers have been putting in time at the Khyber as a barter for room rental next week for a Teach-in. He’s an idealist through-and-through; he offered to take the few food scraps away to be composted (lucky there wasn’t as much meat paté this year). His motives are in the right place but the constant insistence on wasting nothing, re-using everything else and recycling what’s left-over, can be a bit grating on the nerves. It is almost like there is no room for compromise or that little thing we like to call “reality”. Given the amount of people throughout the building last night it was surprisingly clean.
My parents had come down for the Gala. I think they enjoyed it, though I only managed to talk to them for about 5 minutes the whole night. Most of my experience of the night was trying to deal with the completely shot schedule of events; the wearable art and burlesque shows were a good hour and forty-five minutes over schedule; the microphones weren’t working; the top room was too full and the sales of the top floor suffered; and the auction closed after the first extension while almost half our audience was still in the Turret watching the show, which probably affected potential auction sales. But everyone I spoke to was having a great time; it was a really fabulous party. The building looked spectacular; I’ll send you some photos when we get all our documentation together (we actually have some to speak of this year).
Sally was the next volunteer to come in today; she helped take the stage platforms apart and we talked about her somewhat stressful week with Gamaliel. He was overly critical of her and her lifestyle; a bit odd for a houseguest. On our way to pick up Karina and Sarah for brunch I broached the topic of personal information and lack of censorship in my letter-writing project, but I don’t think I made myself very clear. Maybe I should send her some copies to read over? This week when I get the templates together for Patti Kim I’ll make sure to re-read the letters from December and see just how bad they are. I’m getting more and more worried about how my descriptions of people and events may affect my friends.
We all had brunch at the North End Diner. The cook was upset but he made us breakfast anyway (we had arrived exactly at 2pm). Afterwards we returned the 2 painted eggs that Karina had taken from the house party we were at; in her drunken state she had thought they were intended for guests. It was an impromtu party; I’m sure the eggs were there for show, not as gifts.
By the time I was back at the Khyber Jake had dismantled the lights and he and Babek had moved all the gear down to the main floor. Sym and Valerie had wrapped all the remaining artwork and organized it into paid and unpaid piles, and Adam had been in and out taking down decorations. I drove the lighting gear back to Tour Tech and Shawn and I piled the rest of the gear into the van for drop-offs tomorrow.
Karina and I were going to go out somewhere to eat but we couldn’t decided where; we are a little worried about spending money. I started falling asleep and eventually just took a nap. For three hours. Had a sandwich and watched a bit of cable TV—”All in the family”, the shoplifting episode. Now Karina and I are going to share a bath and go to bed.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd5676@hotmail.com>
To: jean chretien <pm@pm.gc.ca>
Date: Tuesday, April 29, 2003 9:42 PM
Subject: SARS clouds part for Toronto but long road ahead as WHO lifts travel advisory» On eve of throne speech, Eves announces SARS compensation package» Chretien offers financial help to SARS victims, but nothing for business
Dear Mr. Chrétien,
Monday: awoke early after little sleep (Karina and I had taken a nice bath together Sunday night and that led to a long night, very nice though). Had 3 drop-offs to do with the van and ended up waiting outside Buckley’s music shortly past nine. They don’t open until 9:45 so I sat in the van out front listening to the radio eating an Egg McMuffin (I figured what the hell; it’s just egg and cheese and an English Muffin. Why are they called muffins anyway?) Luckily Murray was early and I had the van back in Burnside by 10am, right on time.
The office was a disaster but both Andréa and Spencer came in the afternoon and by days end it was a little more manageable. I was supposed to get a payment on the power to a bank today—we received a disconnection notice last week—but we missed it. I had called it in though and no-one showed up to cut us off the grid. Shawna from the Globe and Mail came by to talk to me about the letter-writing project. I got busy with things just as she arrived and almost forgot she was waiting in the bar for me. We talked for over an hour. I don’t know if it was me or the beer but she kept yawning and didn’t ask too many questions; I felt I sort of rambled on.
Went to the opening and artist talk at the eyelevel. Michael Boss and Diana Thorneycroft. Given some of her past work (i.e. the strung up corpses of rabbits) I found this drawing and photography exhibition a bit boring. Her drawings are formally nice but lack any real impact, while Michael’s photos are just too pretty. His childhood drawings of cowboys and soldiers were a nice treat though. The talk was good and the temperature inside the gallery by the end made me feel, for the first time, that summer is close at hand.
Karina and I had a nice light supper at Dharma Sushi. Mat and David were there and we had a nice chat.
Afterwards Karina and I went up to the media centre and she continued tabulating the Gala results and I started the long and arduous process of printing off all my letters. I made it as far as the end of April, 2001. It is going to take longer than I had anticipated because I have to change the formatting of each letter from Simpletext to Microsoft Word, otherwise they won’t fir into book format well. Was tired and cranky by the end of the night but it was Karina who was dragging her heels. When we finally got home there was a letter for me from Baie-Saint Paul; my contract. All in French. I’ll get Andréa to translate for me next time she’s in. Shaved off the moustache (I always had the Gala in mind as a marker; sort of like spring cleaning of my face), and then Karina and I had another late night.
Tuesday: managed to put together an impromptu crate-moving crew in an hour this morning. Luckily Rita was already running errands in Halifax with her truck this morning and was able to meet Dean and Ifo and I at the AGNS shortly past 11. The trucker had called me late yesterday afternoon from Edmunston to inquire about where to park. Barrington Street is no place for a tractor trailer so it was easiest to just get the crates direct from the AGNS, his first stop. Worked on some PR, revised a few ads, paid some more bills, made some phone calls, caught up on some email and cleaned up the office some more. Mike MacCormick had come by with David Garrett to look at some of the areas of the building that need work; they are coming back on Monday to look at what windows need replacing and how best to fix the rotting hole at the bottom of the emergency stairs. Mike seemed concerned about the slight dip upon first entering the Club; I think he had thought the whole floor would be level. I hope this doesn’t cause problems with us getting reimbursed for the work, which we mostly paid for out of our Inter-Arts money, which arrived on Friday. Juggle-juggle.
Worked on a sample invitation for my AGNS show after work. When I was there today I noticed a little photocopied flyer with yet a different date for the exhibition; this time starting on May 13. Wasn’t able to get in touch with Ray about it. I’ll send you the sample invitation tomorrow. It looks neat; I scanned a piece of plywood for the border.
Came home for supper with Karina but was tired and cranky and stressed again. It probably doesn’t help that I bought myself a new pack of cigarettes today (I also bought a pack just before the Gala). This is bad news. I’m getting really stressed about not getting any more paintings done; there is just too much happening at the Khyber: 2 summer interns coming next week; a show to install; summer programs worked on; job calls to go out; mailout to go out; newsletter publication committee to meet; the RAW exhibition; taxes and year-end financials to complete; payroll remit; proposals to organize and review. But I have to step away from it for a week or so or my own show will completely implode. And I’m so stressed that I can’t calm down enough to actually go into the studio and work; I just want to sleep. Maybe I’ll work an a mega-comprehensive list of things to do and send it to the board, then plead for some time off.
It’s not just the Khyber that has me stressed; our household is cracking up again. Mohanad moved out briefly, then moved back for a day or so and now he has moved out again, this time to stay with Sally. I don’t know if he and Rebecca are splitting up or what. She received good news today; she was accepted at York, and will be starting in the fall. They want her to take a summer course so she may be moving as early as July. Of course, no on eelse is talking about what that means. Our rent has already ballooned to beyond what we can afford, thanks to our heating bill. OUR LANDLORD IS A FUCKING MORON AND AN ASSHOLE. No wonder the last tenants left owing money on the heat; I completely sympathise with Bev and Jackson now. So on top of everything else now I’m starting to think about moving again. Karina likes the house and is looking for a job to help pay for it but I don’t want to go through another winter with poor insulation and an inefficient furnace. But no one else is talking about moving.
I think I’ll take a bath and finish A house for Mr. Biswas and try to relax. I’m in no state to work in the studio tonight. Or maybe veg out and watch a bad movie. Karina is planning to go to Saint John tomorrow for a few days and visit with her sister. Maybe I’ll take that as an opportunity to blast through some all-nighters in the studio.
-chris
DEAR PM 