rom: chris lloyd <chrislloyd@videotron.ca>
Date: Sun Jan 2, 2005 1:26:25 PM America/Montreal
To: pm@pm.gc.ca, martin.P@parl.gc.ca
Subject: Martin meets with cabinet ministers, diplomats over tsunami aid, Bernard Landry entend obtenir la confiance des délégués du PQ en 2005
Friday, December 31 2004
Dear Paul,
Happy New Year. I can’t quite believe it’s the very last day of 2004. I think a good chunk of me is still trapped in 1999. Tonight I plan to party like it is 1999, ha-ha. To do so requires I begin drinking early (i.e. now), a good hour or two before folks even arrive at my apartment. I should be nice and toasted by the time we get to Le Swimming. I wouldn’t mind some pot but I don’t have any. Actually, I feel kind of mellow and if i didn’t have plans I would just as soon work on some art, watch a movie and go to bed early. Lame.
It will be a smaller group than I had hoped, and the makeup is odd. Mohanad bailed, feeling “not well”. Maintenant j’ai deux billets pour la soirée ce soir. Est-ce que tu veut ces? $20 chaque. Rebecca, Sarah and Peter will be on their way over shortly. Melissa and Geoff may stop by later, just before we leave. So for most of the night it will be like a bizarre “double date” with the Roberts sisters. I like Peter on his own, but don’t think he and Rebecca make a good couple. I’ll have to try not to let that slip out over the course of the night. Or let it.
I feel a bit down, I think I would have liked to spend the New Year’s Eve with Claudine. The past few days and nights that we have been seeing one another have been really nice, we are clicking well, and the sex has been great. Last night I arrived at her place early with soup and Napoleon Dynamite but we were far more interested in each other above all else. We’ve started discussing a new goal: taking months off and driving across the continent in a van. I’ve always wanted to do that. Maybe I could convince her to marry me in Vegas, even though she claims to be the type to not get married.
This morning I worked at Furnibois. I didn’t get yelled at once, but then again I didn’t do much, either. Just sanded some panels and made cuts for wood inserts that will act as hinges for the whole display. It is another unit for the Biblioteque Maisonneuve. Vincent didn’t have my cheque ready so I won’t be able to pay my rent or buy groceries until Monday. I have enough food to hold me until then.
Saturday January 1 2005
Wow, the new year was rung in in a manner none of us expected. So the crowd came over to my place, Mohanad first, he didn’t bail after all, at least not on us. He needed to get away from Jara. So we smoked some pot and I started in on the wine and then Sarah R and Rebecca and Peter came over and everyone was too drunk too fast. Peter was sick at my apartment before we left for Le Swimming. He was also sick at the Subway across the street. We all got in five minutes before midnight and a waitress spilled a tray of complimentary drinks all over Rebecca. I kissed Mohanad as my new year’s date and then necked with Sarah and then we danced for a bit to the retro 80s music of the cover band Fantasy. They were actually pretty good, kicked off the new year to “Final Countdown”. We didn’t stay long and all ate cheap chow mein noodles with peanut butter sauce on St. Laurent before catching a cab home.
And then the fun really began. I went to bed while Mohanad was in the middle of an intense telephone conversation with Jara. I woke up a couple hours later to Claudine in my bed, completely drunk and going on about her night and why was I wearing a sweater and sweat pants in bed (I was cold) and earplugs?? (so I couldn’t hear Mohanad on the phone) and we started getting all horny and then wouldn’t you know it but she hadn’t realized Mohanad was on the couch (even though she had walked by him two or three times, as she was also sick in the bathroom), and then she invited him to bed, and said mater of factly that she would like to sleep with him. And so the threesome began, oddly enough, and didn’t last too long, it was weird and wild, but the morning was when things really blew wide open. Mo woke up early and hyper, and the sex continued, Klo alternating between the two of us, it was the horniest sexiest morning I’ve had in a long time, if ever. We finally wrapped things up and headed for breakfast at el Coyote, meeting Rebecca and Peter there. Then Klo and I came back to my place and had more sex, had a nap, had more sex, and talked about our new future plans of buying a Westphalia and traveling across the continent for a year. We’ll find work as correspondents for various journals, papers and magazines and maybe apply for some grants too.
So we had a relaxing day, very open and wonderful, actually. When Klo came into my apartment last night and the first thing she was saying to me was along the lines of love: did I love her? Of course I do. We may not say it too each other that much but we’ve fallen out of that habit, for whatever reasons, fear or uncertainty. But I think I do love her, and maybe she does me, and we are both a little freaked out about it.
Clo went to her grandparents for supper and I went to Anna and Fred’s with Sarah R. for a new year soirée and we had a great talk on the way home. I finally figured out how to make my VCR record from the TV and realized that if I plug the cable to my modem into the VCR I get more channels. I was recording the year-end emission of Infoman for Claudine. It was a funny broadcast, I especially liked the skit with Sheila Copps. I was half drunk by the time Claudine arrived. We watched the Shawshank Redemption, en français.
We slept late. The temperature has dropped and all my windows frosted up; the melted snow and puddles have turned to ice. We had a quick breakfast at a local café before walking to Canadian Tire. It was closed until 1pm; Klo had to work at 1. She is heading out to a chalet in the country with the Air Canada crew for the next few days. I would have liked to go with, but money is an issue. My bank account is empty and I have $39 to my name. I have to work. And I have to become more disciplined and get cracking on some art. Today is studio cleanup and arranging day. I’ll also make a timetable and priority list and set myself up a tight schedule. And stick with it.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd@videotron.ca>
Date: Mon Jan 3, 2005 11:44:59 PM America/Montreal
To: pm@pm.gc.ca, Martin.P@parl.gc.ca
Subject: Canada to send disaster response team to Sri Lanka for tsunami relief, Le “DART” partira cette semaine pour le Sri Lanka pour aider les rescapés
Dear Paul,
Yesterday the blues hit me big time. Must be the fallout from the holidays. I saw Claudine to the metro and spent the day organizing my workspace, and finally accomplished something (it has only taken six months). But I felt empty and alone and trapped inside my own head. At one point, while standing in the kitchen drinking a glass of water, I started to cry uncontrollably. What the fuck? Has this ever happened to you? What the hell is wrong with me? It must be the anxiety of constantly feeling at a crossroads, of being unsure what to do next. Art? Tradesman? Single? Married? School? Travel? The list goes on, you know it does. I think I’m scared of my relationship with Claudine. When we are together it is great; we get along fabulously. But once apart, I worry. I worry about the language and cultural barriers, I worry she’ll fall for someone else, I worry that I might have an STD. Did I tell you I made an appointment to look into that? It’s not until the 17th. Wait and see, like everything else. Maybe I’ve got SAD. I worry I’ve become more stupid and dependent as I grow older, how terrible.
So guess what happened at work today? No, I wasn’t fired, but close: I was demoted! My work thus far has not been up to Vincent’s expectations (and my salary). So now another crossroads: Do I stay with Furnibois at a slightly lower salary and learn more about woodworking and possibly use the facilities to my own ends, or do I look for other carpentry/handyman/painter jobs? What would you do?
I started a new painting of you today, the one from the Globe last month when you were in Libya. Worked on some of the curio cabinet/Wunderkammer objects as well. Took the metro to Claudine’s apartment to finally retrieve my camera. Bought groceries and made supper. The globe I am making for Jo Cook’s show has hit some snags; I need to get to a hardware store tomorrow to get a new lamp cable.
Yaga is in the animal hospital in NB. He developed sores on his mouth, tongue and throat and can’t eat and is barely drinking. He needs antibiotics. I feel guilty for separating him and Kuan and dumping him at my parent’s house, as they are now dealing with this sickness. Maybe he misses his sister? She doesn’t seem to miss him; she’s been quite pleasant, actually. She won’t sit still when I try to brush the knots from her fur, but she does purr more, especially at 6 in the morning when she routinely walked about my head while I’m trying to sleep.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd@videotron.ca>
Date: Tue Jan 4, 2005 9:23:37 PM America/Montreal
To: pm@pm.gc.ca, Martin.P@parl.gc.ca
Subject: Williams raises white flag, wants more offshore energy revenue talks, Après un résultat électoral brutal, les conservateurs misent sur le Québec
Dear Paul,
I am contacting you to partner with me in respect of transfer of certain funds, which is being held in a floating account in my organization. I am privileged to have full knowledge of the availability of this fund due to my function and position in the organization at present. I have to contact you because it is imperative for me have the cooperation of a foreigner to be able to transfer the fund out of my country. The total amount involved is Fifteen Million American Dollars. I am writing from a country in the continent of Africa and my name is Andrew Oku. I would give the details of the fund if I receive your response and am convinced that you are willing and dependable to carry out the transaction with me in absolute confidentiality. We have to establish mutual trust such that it will be glaring to both parties that we could work with open mind. A certain percentage of the fund that would be mutually agreed shall be shared to you for your assistance on successful transfer of the fund.
I would appreciate if you could respond to me on my more privateemail:ok47_andy@yahoo.com. Kindly state your telephone number so that I could call you.
I await your response
Sincerely,
Oku Andrew
Sometimes I hate irony. Yesterday I got an email stating that I had won a European lottery, today this, one of the many emails from African millionaires trying to transfer funds. I just got off the phone with my landlord, who is not too happy with me because I haven’t paid my rent yet, because I haven’t cashed my paycheck yet, because I was paid late and still haven’t opened a bank account here and the Insta Cheques won’t cash it unless I go in before 3pm. Ahh, living life from cheque to cheque, what a rush. I think I’ll email the Prada Princess and ask some financial advice. Sometimes I love irony. Though who wants to be constantly reminded of the inequities in life? Whose sick and twisted idea was it to send out zillions of spam emails that prey on the financially insecure? Are there legal and moral ways to becoming rich?
I’m still in a deep blue funk and feel cold and alone and desperate. I’m losing faith in my art and that’s been close to the only thing keeping me going these past few years. That and my boyish good looks and health, and those are leaving me too. I hate this SAD business, getting home from a job I almost hate and it’s dark outside and cold everywhere and I just feel crummy. Two days in a row on the verge of tears, for no apparent reason. I miss Klo. Oddly enough, I think I miss Karina, too. Maybe I’m absorbing too much useless information on the tsunami, and getting sick of watching the western countries obsess over their number of lost tourists, when the overall lost and missing and dead can be rounded up or down by ten or fifty thousand souls. I guess individualism is a bit of western thing, isn’t it.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd@videotron.ca>
Date: Wed Jan 5, 2005 11:52:32 PM America/Montreal
To: pm@pm.gc.ca, Martin.P@parl.gc.ca
Subject: Canada to help with long-term rebuilding in tsunami-hit Asia: PM, Pas question pour le premier ministre Martin de blâmer Québec
Dear Paul,
Actually had a productive day at work. I still find I am at a crossroads: I like the work, but the boss is terrible and spending the whole day in the shop is depressing. It makes me wonder how many people work jobs they despise day in and day out, just to pay the bills and support their families. What tyranny. On the plus side, I’m not feeling as depressed as I have been, even though klo called and left me a message that she won’t be back from the chalet until tomorrow. Tomorrow is my turn to work late, Vincent’s way of ensuring maximum productivity from his employees without paying extra overtime hours; we’ll all leave early on Friday.
Had supper tonight at SS&M, Melissa cooked beef stroganoff. I brought some wine and Geoff brought wine and I read some of Sarah’s psychology papers and then we watched more episodes of Trailer Park Boys. It has been the thing to do in 2005.
I lucked out and managed to cash my cheque on my way to work this morning by getting off at Lionel Groulx; found an Insta cheque right there on Atwater. Not too far a walk from work either, I even took it on the way home, as I needed to take the green line in order to arrive at the proper bus stop to go up Parc and drop off my rent to my landlord.
Mom emailed me an update on Yaga: “He remains in hospital, but today seems to be doing much better. He actually ate 6-7 of the pounce treats I took in and ate some of the tuna. He is still hooked up to the IV, so is getting liquids and some meds that way. He is in “isolation” and there is a big sign above his door CALICI VIRUS…… (same stigma as AIDS). He is so much brighter and no doubt will be ready to come home tomorrow. He still has the sores in his mouth and throat, which is evident as he gags when he eats. Poor little bugger.”
I’ve been trying to brush Kuan but she squirms and runs away. I’ll have to take her to a vet to be shaved, her fur is too knotted and I’m not making much progress.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd@videotron.ca>
Date: Thu Jan 6, 2005 10:39:05 PM America/Montreal
To: pm@pm.gc.ca, Martin.P@parl.gc.ca
Subject: Canadian disaster relief team heads to tsunami-stricken Sri Lanka, L’ancien premier ministre Louis J. Robichaud meurt à l’âge de 79 ans
Dear Paul,
Just had a semi-grueling twelve hour day, seven of which spent cooped up in the library of the CEGEP Maisonneuve, encore a fais l’installation. Thoughts of quitting on the spot were going through my mind again. But I met up with Claudine in the metro, she is back from her petit vacance avec ses amis AC Crew dans un chalet, and we bought some food and I had a shower and she is making grilled cheese and we are going to watch a movie and/or play chess and not think about work. I’ll write more later,
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd@videotron.ca>
Date: Fri Jan 7, 2005 1:24:32 PM America/Montreal
To: pm@pm.gc.ca, Martin.P@parl.gc.ca
Subject: Pettigrew claims Canada’s response to tsunami crisis ‘just right’, Le ministre Pettigrew accepte mal la critique sur le déploiement du DART
Dear Paul,
Last night we watched Salaam Bombay. How depressing! Now my life feels like roses in bloom. The story is mostly about a young steet kid named Krishna, who is trying to save up 500 rupies in order to go home (his mom had kicked him out because he had burned his brother’s client’s motorcycle, and was told not to return unless he paid the damages). He works a spell in a circus until he is abandoned, then he finds his way to Bombay and delivers tea. The characters he meets and interacts with are hauntingly sad; nothing goes right for any of them. It reminds me of A Fine Balance; it must be an Indian thing, a sort of rumination on the inequities of life, but that life is beautiful no matter what, even when it hurts.
So it was easy to go back to work at Furnibois today. Last night I almost quit in disgust and frustration. Vincent can be a terrible boss, disappearing all the time and then exploding in angry rages because things aren’t done in the manner he never expresses. But today he was eating some humble pie; the designer was in and she gave him shit on stuff he couldn’t possibly blame on any of us. I asked him form a reduction in hours so I can better complete the paintings and books for the upcoming exhibitions. He said he’d consider it. I’ll stick it out at least another week before I look for something else.
Have the afternoon off and so will do some work work. Discipline, that’s the word.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd@videotron.ca>
Date: Fri Jan 7, 2005 4:36:37 PM America/Montreal
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Subject: Pierre Pettigrew says Canada’s response to tsunami crisis is ‘just right’, Charest défend la “logique” de son gouvernement en matière d’aide humanitaire
Cher Paul,
J’ai un rêve la soir hier ou j’etais dans mon ancien salle de cours français. Mon enseigne c’etait surpris quand j’etais arrivé, parce que il y a le neuveau semestre, et c’etait pas mon salle déja. Je parlerais avec elle en français; c’est bizarre pour moi, a reve en français maitnent! A la même temp, Claudine a réveillé par un cauchemar. Dans y quel q’un elle donné un petit cadeux. Mais, quand elle a ouvert la boite un serpent a sonnete qui sauté et a piqûré elle sur sa front.
Maintenant je fait beaucoup des distractions pour moi-même au lieu de faire le peintures. J’ai fait de réadaprion des câbles, j’ai enlevé des peinture par un petit meuble, j’ai ecrit des couriels, etc. Puis c’est past trôp mal; j’ai aussi fait un petit objet d’art pour l’exposition par Jo Cook a Vancouver en fevrier.
Ce soir je vais cuisiner chez Claudine puis nous allons regarder de “2004 Cannes Advertising Festival” chez Cinema du Parc.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd@videotron.ca>
Date: Sun Jan 9, 2005 7:39:27 PM America/Montreal
To: pm@pm.gc.ca, martin.P@parl.gc.ca
Subject: U.S. optimistic Canada will sign on to missile defence, ambassador says, Gilles Duceppe entreprend sa troisième tournée du “reste du Canada”
Dear Paul,
Sorry I didn’t write yesterday. I did post a picture on my blog of the finished illuminated globe, but I guess that doesn’t really count. I was actually busy working on paintings yesterday, I have 2 on the go now. Also, I am in the middle of a ripe email discussion about this project with Emily; she has some good questions and criticisms and is forcing me to think about the project from different angles.
The other night, after the Cannes commercials, we met up with Telmo, Kent’s friend who was staying at Claudine’s place. He is working for an NGO in Yellowknife that is trying to raise awareness of the huge pipeline developments currently underway (Mackenzie, Beufort Delta, etc.) that will surely disrupt the fragile ecosystem. It is hard to do the research and raise awareness and write the letters under the shadow of the huge oil and gas companies that have at their disposal unlimited supplies of highly skilled PR spinners and lawyers. Apparently the big problem is how the companies are breaking down the developments into smaller, separate projects, making accurate environmental impact assessments difficult, if not impossible. Before anyone knows it, the face of the entire north will have changed. It’s all going to all melt away anyhow. I guess that’s progress.
J’ai mangé chez Claudine la soir hier, avec leur ami Anne. Aprés nous avons vu O Brother Where Art Thou sur la télé. J’ai parle un petit peu en français avec les deux, at j’ai le sentir que tout sera bien être.
Mais, ce matin j’ai dit a Claudine que je pense que j’ai une malade sexuelle. C’etait difficile a faire, mais elle prend les nouvelles meilleur; elle est magnifique. Je veux demanager avec elle, chez nous dans un nouveau apartement. Nous chercherons un petit peu pour les prochain semaines. Puis, elle me donne un cadeux; un roman par Marcel Proust, le premier de leur plus grand series A la Recherche du Temps perdu. Il sera me bien longtemps y lire, je pense, mais bien être pour m’apprendrerai la français.
Nous sommes allés a le Mont Royal Maison du Culture de Mont Royal aujourd ‘hui pour voir l’exposition Comment devenir artiste. Sept créateurs témoignent, par d’oeuvres et d’objets, de leur expériences comme artistes, de leur veçu. Toutes d’avoir les même intérêts comme moi: l’argent, le travaille contre l’art, etc. J’aime de plus les oeuvres de Manon de Pauw, qui fait des videos performance pendant leur traivaille comme directrice d’un centre artistique autogérés, et Mathieu Beauséjour, qui fait beaucoup des oeuvres photocopies comme les etudients de GNK “Printed Matter”; trés occupé sur l’art conceptuelle.
Today I cleaned up the apartment a bit; the bathroom needed a good solid scrubbing. Fussed with my cables; I finally got curious and after checking, realize that I have free cable TV! I split the cable to my modem et voila! 64 channels and nothing on.
Mom emailed me; Yaga is still not eating much, and losing weight. The vet wants to do a biopsy but my folks don’t have the money to spend on expensive vet bills (not do I), so we’re going to let nature run its course; he’ll either bounce back, or not. I hope he pulls through. He can’t swallow because of the lesions on his tongue and throat. I hope what I think to be my own case of skin inflammation doesn’t spread. My own doctor appointment is a week Monday. Hopefully the diagnosis won’t be too long afterwards.
I’ve finally returned all the beer bottles in the house. It took two trips and I made $10. Then I spent $16 on groceries. Made supper. Shaved. Prepared lunch for tomorrow. The work week is about to begin, encore.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd@videotron.ca>
Date: Wed Jan 12, 2005 12:18:29 AM America/Montreal
To: pm@pm.gc.ca, martin.P@parl.gc.ca
Subject: New case of mad cow confirmed, U.S. to send team to investigate, Ottawa confirme la découverte d’un nouveau cas de maladie de la vache folle
Chez Paul,
Aujourd ‘hui c’etait le douzieme jour que j’ai fait construirer les grand tablettes. Ce quoi exacte c’etait je ne sait pas. Le tâche c’est vraiment fatigant. Voici mon jour: je trouve les planches de bois, je les rabote, je les coupe, je les samblage, je les colle. Encore. Et encore. Et encore plus. En plus, c’est pas jusque le tâche qui est fatigant, c’est la place de travail. Il est plât. Le bruit par les machines c’est constantment. Le lumiere c’est mal. C’est un vrai usine, il n y a pas rien objet de beauté pour voir. Puis, il n y a pas de personnes avec qui a parle. Rien. Je parle un petit peu avec François et Elvie durant des pauses, mais nous n’avons pas beaucoup d’interets en commun. Je manque de milieu avec autre gens. Je pense que je vais appelle des gars que Dean me donne leurs numero de téléphone pour autre travailler. Bientôt.
Ma mére me courrielle; Yaga est en meilleur santé. Il a mangé encore. C’est les bonne nouvelles.
Ce soir c’etait le premier cours français pour le semestre. Eh surpris: J’ai passé niveau quatre et maintnant je suis en train de apprendre niveau six. C’est un bonne groupe, et j’aime le nouveau enseignante.
And now my days will be really full. Vincent still hasn’t told me if he’ll allow me to work 32 hours per week. I’m starting to think more and more that this “project” is more about finding and recording the time to squeeze art-making into the day. I just finished supper, it’s midnight, and I don’t want to be exhausted tomorrow at work so I probably won’t paint tonight. Or tomorrow night. Maybe Friday and throughout the weekend, in between cleaning, eating and washing laundry. And spending time with friends. And reading. How do you find the time to do everything you do? BTW, did you get my portrait-painting proposals yet? If you have can you give me an answer before you go to Asia to view the tsunami fallout?
J’ai passé la nuit hier chez Claudine. J’ai oublié mon portofuille le jour avant, donc j’ai retrouve. nous avons regardé le télé, comme un vrai couple de aujourd ‘hui, de “mainstream”, et faissons le vannes apres chaque publicité. Nous avons fait le sexe aprés mais avec un condom; j’ai un petit buton sur mon pénis. J’espoire que c’est pas grâve.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd@videotron.ca>
Date: Wed Jan 12, 2005 11:30:39 PM America/Montreal
To: pm@pm.gc.ca, Martin.P@parl.gc.ca
Subject: Klein says cull of older animals needed in the wake of third BSE case, Selon Duceppe, le ministre des Finances fait un pas dans la bonne direction
Chez Paul,
Il etait un bizarre changement au travail aujourd ‘hui. Vincent et leur ami Rheal est arrivé avec beaucoup des utils et a commencé construire un nouveau mur et grand porte. J’ai l’assisté durant le journée. J’ai parlé beaucoup de français avec Rheale, parceque il ne parle pas anglais. C’est bon pour moi, et un autre façon que je penserai a rester la. Mais, si je trouverai autre emploi avec plus de payer et moin des heurres, je vais prend ça. Il y a difficile en arrivé en temps pour classe. Cette semaine je fais le café durant les pauses avec une belle fille qui vient a Argentina, s’appelle Natalia.
J’ai reçu un lettre par le Galerie Joyce Yahouda. En sous il etait un cheque pour mon travail; $1.09! Je vais laminer et utilise pour le “curio cabinet” que je vais construire pour l’exposition a Calgary.
Je vais faire un douche et un raser tout suite, puis aprés ferai de peinture.
Voici un “link” a le site web Zeke’s Gallery pour les nouvelles concernant <a href=”http://zekesgallery.blogspot.com/2004/12/more-free-roadsworth.html“>Roadsworthy</a>. Peut être tu peut ecrire un lettre par solidarité vers le maire du Montréal <a href=”maire@ville.montreal.qc.ca“>M. Tremblay</a>?
-chris
Date: Fri, 14 Jan 2005 20:33:29 -0500 (EST)
From: “chris lloyd” <chrislloyd6627@yahoo.ca>
Subject: Embattled Sgro resigns as immigration minister, vows to clear her name, Ralph Klein aurait l’appui de Jean Charest pour une voie mitoyenne en santé
To: paul martin <pm@pm.gc.ca>, Martin.P@parl.gc.ca
Cc: chrislloyd@videotron.ca
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Dear Paul,
Got off work early this afternoon. Ran out of glue. The big boards I am gluing together will be made into benches for a prison next week. I haven’t asked which prison. Don’t they do this sort of work in prisons? They could build their own benches. Anyway, Vincent agreed to my request for a 4-day work week, so I’ll stick it out for the next little while and see if it helps with my time management. Getting off work early didn’t help; I came home and had a nap.
Tonight I am going to el Salon to see Geoff Roy’s band play their very last gig. The band, 2 stone 2 skank, has been together for 7 years and play a blend of ska, reggae and rock. Am going with the S&M crew and will hopefully meet up with Claudine later on. She came over to my place last night and we made supper and watched TV.
Am doing my laundry at S&Ms and adding some program files to Sarah R’s computer. Melissa fed me leftover lasagna.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd@videotron.ca>
Date: Sat Jan 15, 2005 1:12:44 AM America/Montreal
To: pm@pm.gc.ca, Martin.P@parl.gc.ca
Subject: Embattled Sgro resigns as immigration minister, vows to clear her name, Ralph Klein aurait l’appui de Jean Charest pour une voie mitoyenne en santé
Dear Paul,
Just back from the show. Actually, I didn’t stay long. The music was fun, a straight ahead fast tempo ska, but a bit repetitive. Geoff is an entertaining and energetic frontman. But the crowd was way too you; average age seemed about 17. So I met Sarah R. at a little place on the corner of Fairmont and Laurier and we had a drink and talked. Claudine’s AC friend Elizabeth was in town so they were spending the night together. And she is going to Ottawa for the weekend. I’m a bit disappointed; I would have liked to spend more time with her. I feel again at a bit of a crossroads; should we actively make plans to move in together? Financially it makes sense, but I worry that she feels a loss of independence. It’s a big step.
Tomorrow I’ll try to get some painting done, as well as some research at the library. I’m meeting Karen Tam at the Belgo to check out some art shows. Am going to drop of the JC cheque, framed, for display at Zeke’s gallery. Chris from the gallery offered to buy it for $5 but I’m not selling. Oh, I also received a rejection letter in the mail from Access ARC. Another for the collection.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd@videotron.ca>
Date: Sun Jan 16, 2005 1:07:38 AM America/Montreal
To: pm@pm.gc.ca, Martin.P@parl.gc.ca
Subject: Canadian soldiers set up ferry service for stranded tsunami survivors, Les soldats Canadiens établissent un service de traversier au Sri Lanka
Dear Paul,
Worked on paintings this afternoon. Went to Zeke’s and dropped off my cheque for $1.09 that I received from Joyce Yahouda gallery. Chris is going to display it in the gallery. We also set up an interview for next week. Should be fun. There was another big article on Roadsworth in the Gazette today. I met Karen Tam at the Belgo and we looked at some art. A lot was post interesting, but sometimes I’m just too cynical. I did enjoy the show at VOX on St. Laurent; a video installation by Vancouver artist Nathalie Melikian. A blank white screen projects, in alphabetical order, a series of statements and descriptions to a cinematic background. The words describe a film genre more than a specific film: that of the action film. “Action,” “Scene,” “Hero,” “Exterior City, Day,” “Endless Failed Escape Attempts,” “Dialogue,” “Closeup,” Extreme Closeup,” “Big Breasted Blonde Woman,” “Bloodbath,” and on and on. For some reason Die Hard, True Lies and Rambo sprang immediately to mind.
We shared some good art ideas; she suggested I make sculptural busts of you from the pulp from chewing up my letters for the video I’ll be making (Aaron is sending me his camera). I’ll need to get some clay, and plaster, and start sculpting. I suggested she make paper cutouts of animé porn. She’s going to Kelowna next week on a three-month residency. She’s also going to suggest me as a prospective husband to her Korean friend Jaye, who would prefer an American husband (for the visa) but will settle for Canadian. There would be money involved. I don’t think Claudine will mind; she doesn’t want to ever get married. Speaking of Clo, I really miss her when she is not around. At the same time, I wonder if we are just coasting on fumes. Sometimes I think I really love her; other times, I’m not so sure. It’s a mystery. Am I a serial monogomist? Do I just always need to be with someone? Or is she the one? I think I’d love to make french babies with her and spend the rest of my life with her. At other times I think I might become perfectly happy and well-adjusted as a perpetual bachelor. Less complications. Yet with Clo there haven’t really been any major complications. And excepting the language barrier, hardly any minor complications. Do we have enough shared interests?
Sarah R. came over for supper after her soccer game and we watched a movie that Melissa had suggested, an Australian tale of a surprise birthday party. Very suspenseful; a tragic story of a marriage gone wrong. Very well-shot, though somewhat searing in the wife’s confessional and increasingly aggressive video. Speaking of Australia, I’m waiting to hear from Jen and Nick to get the address for their blog so I can keep tabs on them in Tanzmania.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd@videotron.ca>
Date: Sun Jan 16, 2005 1:52:07 PM America/Montreal
To: pm@pm.gc.ca, Martin.P@parl.gc.ca
Subject: Martin set for politically fraught meeting with Tamils in Colombo, Sri Lanka, Le premier ministre Martin se rend à Phuket pour constater la dévastation
Dear Paul,
I just received this email from Jen in Halifax. I’ve already sent you slides but maybe I’ll send you an actual portrait too. How is your first day in South Asia? It must be quite intense.
artists
artist n : a person whose creative work shows sensitivity and imagination
Is your house full of sculptures?
Paintings covering every inch of your walls?
CD’s & videotapes everywhere?
You don’t want to keep it, but just can’t throw it out?
Why not send it to the government?
on January 28, 2005 send a piece of your art in the mail to a Member of Parliament…..it’s free
mail may be sent postage-free to any Member at the following address:
House of Commons
Parliament Buildings
Ottawa, Ontario
K1A 0A6
Canada Post specifies letters, although MPs say they receive mail of all sizes you decide
January 28, send your art to
href=http://www.parl.gc.ca/common/SenatorsMembers_house.asp?Language=E&parl=37&ses=1&Sect=hoccur>any MP here</a> <a href=”http://www.parl.gc.ca/common/SenatorsMembers_house.asp?Language=E&parl=37&ses=1&Sect=hoccur>or here</a>
…let’s remind them we’re here
— please pass on this message —
Also, I found a nice link to a good quality video of <a href=”http://stream.qtv.apple.com/qtv/toolshed/merge/arcade_ref.mov”> The Arcade Fire</a> playing Power Out. It takes a little while to load but the energy of the band is so intense it is worth the wait. Check it out when you have a chance.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd@videotron.ca>
Date: Mon Jan 17, 2005 10:57:16 PM America/Montreal
To: pm@pm.gc.ca, Martin.P@parl.gc.ca
Subject: Powerful blizzard blankets Atlantic Canada with snow, ice pellets, Le premier ministre Martin se rend en Inde après avoir visité le Sri Lanka
Chez Paul,
Je suis soulagé. Les petit boutons qui étés environ m’aine ce n’est pas les herpés. C’etait de condylomes, puis n’est pas grave. Le femme medécin a utilise la cryothérapie aujourd ‘hui. Il a brûlé un petit peu, mais pas trôp.
La cryothérapie est une technique sans effusion de sang utilisant un gaz très froid qui détruit les tissus infectés ou superflus. L’azote liquide circulant dans l’instrument gèle les tissus traités à une température pouvant atteindre – 196 degrés Farenheit. Les tissus détruits par des cycles gel/dégel rapides sont éliminés par les cellules blanches présentes prés de la région infectées, par un processus naturel de l’organisme. Cette méthode a été prouvée efficace à enlever les verrues. En suite, bye-bye chauf-fleurs.
I’ve been meaning to write you for some time in praise of the escalator renovations at the Beaubien metro. I know I was bitching and complaining to you about the length of the renovations (the whole spring and summer) and then how when it was actually running, it was running all ass-backwards (i.e. two escalators running down at 5pm, opposite rush hour, d-uh). So for a couple weeks it was working fine…but it’s not anymore. In fact, now they’ve got the whole bloody thing torn apart and are blocking most of the turnstiles, making morning traffic a lovely snarl. For some reason, 2 turnstiles near the top of the stairs are a no-go—in either direction. Sigh. Part of the $804.5-million fixer-upper.
I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my day off. I’ve painted all day. Not non-stop; I look at them for long pauses. Trying to paint solely with the power of my brain, now wouldn’t that be sweet!
Il est trôp foid maintenant. Puis demain il feras presque moins trente! Le froid, le rechauffage, les tsunamis; le monde c’est bizarre. Je vias continuer avec les peintures; Je suis animé par beaucoup des cafés.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd@videotron.ca>
Date: Tue Jan 18, 2005 11:24:21 PM America/Montreal
To: pm@pm.gc.ca, Martin.P@parl.gc.ca
Subject: Thousands attend memorial for Lois Hole, beloved Alberta lieutenant-governor, Deux ans de prison supplémentaires pour l’incendie dans une école juive
Cher Paul,
Je me frustré progresser avec le français. J’ai beaucoup de problemes avec les articles…des articles? d’articles? D’oh! Indéfini, défini, partitif, des régles, les exceptions…c’est trôp. Serai-moi jamais apprendre cette langue? C’est nest pas demain, la veille! Je suis défoler, mais pas dans le même sense de Vincent. Aujourd ‘hui j’ai travaillé comme d’autre jours, coupé de bois, collé, répété. J’ai utilisé le “router” aussi. C’etait fun.
J’ai parlé sur téléphone avec Mohand ce soir. Il peut être avoir de travaille pour moi a Toronto. Nous allons voir.
Hey, I added ads to my blog. Have I sold out and lost my mind completely? It is a bit of an experiment. Could you do me a favour and click one of the ads? I am curious to see if I’ll make any money on them. Supposedly I’ll be paid for each click, regardless if it leads to purchases or not, but I can’t check myself (C’est interdit; it’s in the fifty-page contract, where I couldn’t actually find information on how much I’ll be paid for prostituting my site in this manner). Anyway, the ads are way down at the bottom so probably won’t be seen by anyone anyway. You can rate my blog “Hot or Not” while you’re at it. Do you have many chances to check your email while you travel? Do you bring an email-checking team with you or do they just do it from HQ in Ottawa?
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd@videotron.ca>
Date: Thu Jan 20, 2005 8:04:44 AM America/Montreal
To: pm@pm.gc.ca, Martin.P@parl.gc.ca
Subject: Mountain slides onto two Vancouver-area homes killing one woman, Lafleur n’aurait jamais versé deux commandites à Postes Canada
Dear Paul,
Met up with Clo after class last night and we had a lovely time. It was nice to be with her again. J’ai bu tisane et mangé un petit sandwich, on a parlé beaucoup, c’etait fun. Aprés on a marché dans le petit têmpette de neige chez moi et on a regardé un film, un favori a moi, Le Confessional. Et aprés ça on a jou sexy, mais pas de penetration. Pas avec le condolyms, qui est maintenant petit boutons noir, c’est degulase! Mais Clo est trés gentille et comprends bien. On a dormi environ trois heures. Je vais être fatigue a travail aujourd’hui, mais c’est correct.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd@videotron.ca>
Date: Fri Jan 21, 2005 7:41:25 PM America/Montreal
To: pm@pm.gc.ca, martin.P@parl.gc.ca
Subject: Former minister Dingwall saw Guite as best man to run sponsorship program, Le travail exceptionnel de Guité faisait l’unanimité, raconte un ex-ministre
Dear Paul,
So far I have earned $1.46 from having ads on my site. The amount is based on some odd percentage tally of clicks, click through rate, and effective CPM. Whatever the hell that is. It is too boring and complicated for me to spend time trying to figure out, seeing as in another couple days I’ll forget about the ads myself. They are far too low on the page of my blog. It’s not really for the money, more out of a sense of interest, or irony, or something like that.
Spent the night at Claudine’s. Went after class, which was fun, though I was exhausted from the late night before. I get too wired during class; I drink 2 coffees and by 10pm I’m wide awake. But we sleep really well together. I’ve been thinking more about moving in with her and relaize that I’m all for it, but I think she’s content where she is, and I have a problem bringing it up. I’ll try harder this weekend. Think more about my future plans: save money, buy a van, plan a trip, drive and drive, camping, have adventures, research, research grants, write a book, make art, travel south to Mexico and North to North Pole, and then Europe, and start a gallery, maybe a roving one? Or do I move back to SJ? I think I must have gypsy blood and it’s rising to the surface after being dormant for a long while. And I find myself thinking more about Karina and friends back home and wonder if my life is really just a train wreck waiting to happen? Am I out of control? I was much more refreshed at work today, though it was a bit pointless as the work was just as boring. Gluing wood together, yippee! Though it’s all in preparation for larger projects; the second workshop is almost ready, with the huge table saw and timesaver sander. I worry that I might fall into the conveyor belt and sand myself even thinner, if such a thing was possible. Just kidding, I’m fairly safe at work. Except the other day when I was helping François with the 12-foot door (still not working, BTW), and a metal wheel was dislodged and fell on my head. Ouch. It gave me the excuse to kick something. pas grave; je pensais toujours que j’ai un roche pour un tete.
Got a letter from RBC collections. Looks like my last application for interest relief on the ‘ole student loan was declined. I’m sorry, I just don’t have an extra $344 this month. I probably won’t have it next month or the month after, either. Or the $177 for the provincial loan, either. Until I’m making decent money in the field that I studied (ha! HA-HA!), I won’t be making payments on the loan. You pay it, it’s pretty much a direct result of your cuts to universities. Take one less Challenger flight this year and you’ll have covered it, and then some.
Anyway, I’d better get going. Need to shower, clean the apartment a bit, cash my paycheck. I was going to mail it but need more cash this weekend and on Monday to cover my clinic bills and buy some groceries, and don’t want to borrow that much from Claudine. Plus I’m going to see La Mauvaise Education tonight with Sarah R. and Jessie. It’s damn cold out an I don’t relish the idea of walking to the metro or the bus, even worse waiting outside for the bus. But the #55 runs fairly often, I’ll check the schedule online and time our walk just right. And think about Jeln and Nick in Tas-freaking-mania, planting vines and getting sunburned, and je vais pense: les maudits a eu de la chance.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd@videotron.ca>
Date: Sat Jan 22, 2005 6:33:18 PM America/Montreal
To: pm@pm.gc.ca, Martin.P@parl.gc.ca
Subject: Same-sex marriage election threat dogs Martin as he wraps up Asian tour, Les mariages entre conjoints de même sexe demeurent à l’ordre du jour
Dear Paul,
The three of us, Sarah R., Jessie and I made a remarkable ten block dash in three minutes to catch the #55 southbound bus last night. We were just on time. We were delayed because the front doorknob to their apartment fell off as we were leaving. So we were perfectly on time for La Mauvaise éducation, the new film by Pedro Almodovar. It was a stunning, sensual film noir, film-within-a-film, exploration of memory, desire and deception. Very well done, you should see it if you get the chance. I’m embarrassed to say I haven’t seen his other films, (tout sur ma mere, parle avec elle, par example) though I’ve meant to. Now I’ll make more of an effort.
Apres le film Sarah R. et moi sommes allé a Club Rouge, a coin de St. Laruent et Prince Arthur, pour rencontre ses equipe de soccer. Un de la filles a fait un anniversaire. C’etait bizarre. I found it a bit awkward, a little out of place (both in the bar—too trendy—and with the soccer players—too sporty), so there wasn’t much conversation. Except with Vicki, a cute blonde on the team who lives with her two sisters—also on the team. I found that fascinating, how one can both live and play sports with and socialize with one’s siblings. I guess me and my brothers never really had that opportunity, and it leads me to wonder what it would be like. I liked flirting with her, and thought again about the crossroads I feel to be at. Should I be single again? Or solidify my relationship with Claudine? Is Telus correct, and the future is friendly? Anyway, we didn’t stay too long, danced a bit (in a weird sporty circle), I felt old, and Sarah and I left. Had our traditional post-midnight snack of $2 chow mein with peanut butter sauce, this time augmented with spring rolls. I stayed over with her, as she was depressed about her new flame/potential boyfriend/just friend Anthony. Whom she called at 2:23am and proceeded to talk to him until 4pm. I read most of a bad novel called Little Children and then fell asleep while she talked. So much for her needing my emotional support.
Had my interview with Chris from Zeke’s gallery today. He upped the offer on the Joyce Yahouda cheque to $10. I’m thinking about it. He asked if I thought you had ever washed dishes and I said yes because I had a sudden vision of you washing dishes (almost as a joke) after a family dinner. So have you ever washed the dishes? Do you and Sheila take turns? What is your regular household chore? Do you have one? Anyway, the interview was fun, it was nice to talk art.
And now I’m done my own chores around the house (vacuuming—which entailed cleaning out the vacuum bag, ew—mopping, changing sheets, hunting cat hair, washing dishes, organizing papers, etc.). I’m treating myself to a nice scotch on ice before having a shower. Clo is coming over for supper (we are going to cook a chicken) et apres ça on va voir Ma vie en cinemascope chez Cinema Beaubien.
Il fait trop foid en dors, mais, je suis prét. Ma marteau c’est chaud.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd6627@yahoo.ca>
Date: Sun Jan 23, 2005 10:18:55 PM America/Montreal
To: paul martin <martin.p@parl.gc.ca>, paul martin <pm@pm.gc.ca>
Cc: chrislloyd@videotron.ca
Subject: Martin wraps up 9-day mission to Asia parrying questions about why he went, Paul Martin rend hommage aux Canadiens morts à la bataille de Hong Kong
Dear Paul,
Clo and I have embarked on our own version of the slow cooking movement. We had bought a chicken and potatoes last night with plans to cook in the oven. We didn’t realize for over an hour that the fuses in my oven had blown. Supper was finally ready after 10pm. The chicken was really tender, maybe it was the slow, slow cooking? Needless to say we didn’t go watch Ma vie en cinemascope, just stayed in watching TV and drinking a nice red wine and getting sexy with one another. We’ve been reading together a lot, which is nice; Harpers, the Walrus, les journals quotidien.
Sleeping in this morning was a treat. We headed east on Beaubien for breakfast at La mere poule but there was a lineup; we ate at a café nearby that wasn’t nearly up to snuff. Bad egg McMuffins, tiny quiche, bland salad. Walked all the way to Galerie Clark and was disappointed to find it closed. Spent some time at a packed Café Esperanza before walking back to her place, a little window shopping and browsing (to stay warm), along the way. Picked up some groceries and made a stew, drank some wine, on a regarde 32 films court sur Glenn Gould. I’m going to do my French homework here (un fuille par mon cahier et je doit faire un recette), and spend the night. I’ll get my work clothes early tomorrow morning.
Brought “living together” up but she still seems unsure. She is worried it won’t work out. And she thinks I am staying in Montreal only for her. You know I’m a bit conflicted about what I should do next, and she knows too. But the past couple days have been near bliss; I really enjoy this time we spend together. I haven’t been painting, but I’ll make time throughout the week. Honest. I feel that if we lived together and had designated work rooms then we would make time to work on our individual projects. We shall see. On y voir.
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd@videotron.ca>
Date: Tue Jan 25, 2005 5:15:36 PM America/Montreal
To: pm@pm.gc.ca, Martin.P@parl.gc.ca
Subject: Chretien lawyers seek to oust head of federal sponsorship inquiry, Stéphane Dion dit avoir été tenu à l’écart du programme des commandites
Dear Paul,
I’ve a lot to discuss with you and don’t really know where to begin. For one, today was my chosen day off for the week. My follow-up appointment a the clinic had a lot to do with the date, though I’m hoping that taking a day off work in the middle of the week will add some zing to the monotony of the job. The condylomes are healing as expected, but it takes some time. I need to buy some poly-sporen or some sort of antiseptic cream to speed the process.
Yesterday I was gluing like a bat out of hell; ripping and cutting and gluing maple and birch into steps, twenty-two in total, but there were the inevitable problems. Little glitches, a knot here, the glue not holding fast enough there. Those are, in my mind, minor, repairable problems. It is getting harder for me to deal with Vincent; my boss. I suspect he is secretly participating in some sort of “worst boss ever” event, a tryout for a reality-TV show perhaps. My fuse is growing shorter, and I snap back at him more frequently. Honestly, I see no need for him to show the level of disrespect he does to his employees, constantly yelling and berating us. I’ve never been spoken to like this before in my life. I plan to hold out until my next pay, cover my rent and bills and then find something else. It is now beyond ridiculous.
On a nicer note, Clo and I met up at my place after class and we watched Maria full of grace. Wow, a real triumph in cinematic storytelling and acting. I was wincing in dreaded anticipation throughout most of the film, at each progression expecting the worst. I was surprised at the slightly ambiguous happy ending, but glad at the same time.
Mon course français c’etait marché bien. J’avais ecrire un recette pour le poulet entier lentment cuire. Hier soir, nos equipes on a debat quel situations le moins ou le plus grâve:
* prendre des otages * dévaliser une banque * lire la correspondance d’un autre
* violer quelqu’un * faire exploser une bombe atomique sur une isle inhabitée par des humains
* voler quelque chose dans un magasin * manquer a une promesse
* frapper quelqu’un en plein visage * polleur l’environment
* exterminer une espece de baleines * ne pas dire a une “ami” qu’on a le SIDA
* maltraiter les enfants
On a choisi “dévaliser une banque” qui été le moins grave, et je parlais beaucoup a mon desir et raisons pour faire ça. Je n’ai pas sure qu’est qu’il a choisi pour le plus grâve; je pense que pet être “maltraiter les enfants.” Quel y te voudras?
Anyway, today I enjoyed my day off and even got a bit of work done. Went to the library on d’esplanade and Mont Royal to check through some microfiche of the newspapers and found some good dates in the Globe and Mail and La Press with excellent photos of you. Had coffee and freshly baked cookies at Claudine’s. Boy I like spending time with her. Bought some groceries with the last of my money; Clo had cashed my cheque for me and I mailed a good chunk to my bank account to cover my rent next month, but didn’t keep enough cash on hand. I forgot about the clinic fees, and the french dictionary I’m buying from the school, and the COD charges on my brother’s video camera. It arrived yesterday. $40. And I STILL haven’t sent the globe to Jo for the Infinity exhibition. Fuck I hate being poor. On the plus side, I just baked a casserole and made some homemade chicken soup. Yum.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd@videotron.ca>
Date: Wed Jan 26, 2005 8:06:12 AM America/Montreal
To: pm@pm.gc.ca, martin.P@parl.gc.ca
Subject: Chretien lawyers seek to oust head of federal sponsorship inquiry, Les avocats de Chrétien somment le juge Gomery de se récuser
Cher Paul,
Je pense que le temperature me donne de saignement de nez. J’avais un hier, sur la metro. Un homme gentil me donne un serviette.
J’ai fait des rêves bizarre hier soir. Un vaste centre des magasins sous-terre, massif. Je courais aucun arrêt. Et un chaffeur ivrogne d’autobus, promenadait sur rues rural, zig-zag.
Je vais aller a furnibois.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd@videotron.ca>
Date: Thu Jan 27, 2005 8:01:48 AM America/Montreal
To: pm@pm.gc.ca, martin.P@parl.gc.ca
Subject: Cotler announces same-sex bill for next week, moves to silence Liberal critics
Dear Paul,
Call me paranoid, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Vincent read my blog. He was acting different yesterday; almost civil. Didn’t yell once, even though he seems to be under a lot of pressure, what with the shop renovations, addition of new equipment and large contracts. He had rented a van yesterday; I accompanied him to the rental location on Jean Talon and then drove the van back to the shop. It was a nice change of pace. I worked late, finishing gluing the steps. Decided to take a break from class and stayed in. Worked a bit, ate some supper and watched Les Ordres on TV. Hadn’t realized before just how draconian the War Measures Act was, especially for the people that were arrested as a result of it. The Act gives the government almost unlimited powers. More than 450 citizens were arrested and nearly all of them (435) were released later without ever being charged. It seems a disturbing pattern emerged: for the most part, those arrested were separatists and radical social spokesmen. In the eyes of many the purpose of the operation was to crush separatism – the legitimate legal movement- and to uphold the status quo. The film follows five “ordinary” folks, from having the police show up at their doors, through the gritty reality of being incarcerated. Not fun. And now we have post 911 changes, don’t we? Didn’t the anti-terrorism act amend a whole slough of other acts, removing civil liberties clauses and due processes, making it easier for police to hold and detain “suspected” terrorists? And it goes on and on.
Anyway, sorry for the rant. I’m almost late for work.
Clo called me last night and we had a less than stellar conversation about travel and the future. I get the sense she is really focused on our differences, especially when it comes to travel. And language, of course. I may not have the passion she does, but I want to travel. I just find it frustrating to get my shit together so I can do it. My whole last year has been a process of trying to simplify and pare down my life, to being more mobile, more nomadic. I really have to get planning. Student loans are starting to call me. I swear they called at 7am and then hung up—probably realizing that there was a time difference from where they were calling. And from where were they calling? It could have been anywhere. Next time I’ll ask.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd@videotron.ca>
Date: Fri Jan 28, 2005 8:07:33 PM America/Montreal
To: pm@pm.gc.ca, martin.P@parl.gc.ca
Subject: Iraqi-Cdns begin voting for Iraq’s first democratic election in 50 years, Les Canadiens irakiens votent dans 5 bureaux de scrutin à travers le Canada
Dear Paul,
Had a really good evening last night. Work was work; more gluing. Encore de collé. Stopped at Clo’s after work to eat (and borrow cash, d’oh!), and we went to a really cozy couscous resto just around the corner from her on Marie Ann; un vrai restaurant de quartier. We split one of the dishes and it was more than enough. We were very satisfied. Afterwards we debated seeing a film—we’ve been talking about Ma vie en cinemascope since December—but we went back to her apartment, shared a shower and then had rockin’sex on her sofa. Discovered some kama sutra positions. We’re still using condoms, a cause du condyloms. Ils etaient presque tout parti. Bon.
We rented The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari and started watching it at my place but fell asleep. Tired ourselves out, we did. Also, the “modern” musical accompaniment didn’t make any sense. It was fun to see a film that launched an era of expressionist filmmaking, halted by the Nazis. The distorted lighting, crazy camera angles, the theatrial look to it all, was very interesting. Speaking of filmmaking, I finally picked up the camera Aaron sent me. It had been sitting at the bus terminal all week. And speaking of Nazis, isn’t today the 60th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz? Or was that yesterday? I can’t remember. I’m a bit confused lately, what with all this talk about the sponsorship scandal, Jean Chrétien’s lawyers, Le bouclier antimissile and gay marriages bringing down the government. I say, aren’t all weddings supposed to be gay?
I might have a new lead on a new job, I’ll keep you posted. Right now I’m off to SS&Ms to wash laundry and play with the new camera. Je sera être un artiste videographie, bientôt.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <chrislloyd@videotron.ca>
Date: Mon Jan 31, 2005 2:03:54 PM America/Montreal
To: pm@pm.gc.ca, Martin.P@parl.gc.ca
Subject: Goalie who loses brother, father in bus crash called a ‘strong kid’, Accident d’autobus: le chauffeur dit avoir heurté quelque chose juste avant
Dear Paul,
Bonne chance durant retourner a Parlement aujourd ‘hui. J’ai l’impression que les autres chefs du parties d’opposition veulent ta tête. Puis, je suis desolé pour n’a ecri pas hier. J’ai tres occupé avec quelque choses: je peignais (oui, c’etait vrai! Puis je finissai trois…ou presque), je trouvais beaucoup du musique par Limewire, je cuisinais et, samedi soir, je suis allé a Station C pour le spectacle “Oops Johnny” de bourlesque. C’etait un bon “show”, mais loin de parfait. Il n’etait pas beaucoup des gars sur le scéne. Je parlais avec deux femmes anglais du montreal, mais en français. Puis, samedi je parais avec Patrice, le commissionaire du Manif d’art. C’etait un bon discussion; nous décidions que mon travail pour le manif sera bon avec juste les livres du couriels. Le “paper shredder” c’etait “overkill”. Bon; moin de travail pour moi! Peut être je vais includer un portrait a toi, aussi.
Hung out with Clo Sunday night, she made homemade gnocchi with ricotta cheese, and homemade sauce as well. She also gave me a cookbook on stews. Our “slow cooking’ movement continues. We watched Leolo and went to bed early; had good sex. And again later this morning, as I skipped work, so we were able to have breakfast together. Simple pleasures. We were rudely awakened by a work crew that began tearing up the pavement in the street on the corner—at 7:30am.
I have to call Vincent today and give him the bad news; I won’t be returning to Furnibois, except to retrieve my toolbelt. I’ll start work with Greg as a painter at the Barat street house (Oui! Encore!), tomorrow. I’m not looking forward to it; it’s sort of like breaking up with someone. I feel guilt about the short notice, but he shoudln’t have a problem replacing me. He drove by my place last night and dropped off my cheque. I can pay rent on time this month.
Today I bought some art supplies—2 small containers of paint, a small jar of varnish and five coloured pencils—for $50 (yikes!), and then stopped at Villenueve et fils (?), a coin de Bellechasse et St. Laurent, et achetais un panneau du bois merisier—ou bouleau. Je ne pas sure, parce que tout le monde parlais “merisier” quand ils référencent “bouleau”. Birch. Bon pour je fais le peinture.
Anyway, I’m going to try to take the rest of the afternoon to get some more work done, before class. I’ll leave you with some selected writings I’ve come across the past couple days that express, better than I, what I’ve been thinking lately.
-chris
why don’t you start petitioning the goverment to start some kind of tropical time share for its winter-weary citizens? bloody hate winter. i’m sick of it. people get depressed in the winter. when they get depressed, they have to take happy pills. when they take happy pills, they are often covered by health plans, and maybe sometimes the government, probably not, but health plans. that means the health plans shell out alot of money for happy pills. maybe we wouldn’t need happy pills if we didn’t have to bloody stick it out in this friggin horrible climate. i’m talking to my plants and watching community television to keep me sane. that ain’t right. so the government should buy a big plot of land in mexico, or maybe southern france or thailand and they should send canadians to it every year for a large chunk of the winter. while the majority of the population is away, the government can screw around and have all of the scandals they want. and like slowly sell off portions of our outlying lands to russia. or maybe you could convince the canada council to devote a portion of the annual funds to getting canadian artists out of canada so that they may take time to reflect and better express the real voice of the canadian experience. call it “the trans-Cannes highway”
just some thoughts. maybe paul will listen.
-elizabeth grant
A favoured exercise of intellectuals throughout the twentieth century – which can also be taken as symptomatic of what Badiou calls ‘the passion of the Real’ (la passion du réel) – was the urge to ‘catastrophize’ the situation: whatever the actual situation it had to be denounced as ‘catastrophic’ and the better it appeared, the more it solicited this exercise. Heidegger denounced the present age as that of the highest ‘danger’, the epoch of accomplished nihilism; Adorno and Horkheimer saw in it the culmination of the dialectic of enlightenment in the administered world; up to Giorgio Agamben, who defines twentieth-century concentration camps as the ‘truth’ of the entire Western political project. Recall the figure of Horkheimer in the West Germany of the 1950s: while denouncing the ‘eclipse of reason’ in the modern Western society of consumption, he at the same time defended this same society as the lone island of freedom in the sea of totalitarianism systems and corrupt dictatorships all around the globe. It was as if Winston Churchill’s old ironic quip about democracy as the worst possible political regime, and all the other regimes worse than it, was here repeated in a serious form: Western ‘administered society’ is barbarism in the guise of civilization, the highest point of alienation, the disintegration of the autonomous individual, etc. – however, all other socio-political regimes are worse, so that, comparatively, one nonetheless has to support it.
So I am tempted to propose a radical reading of this syndrome: what if what the unfortunate intellectuals cannot bear is the fact that they lead a life which is basically happy, safe and comfortable, so that, in order to justify their higher calling, they have to construct a scenario of radical catastrophe?
– Slavoj Zizek
The idea of the self-evidence of Evil is not, in our society, very old. It dates, in my opinion, from the end of the 1960s, when the big political movement of the 60s was finished. We then entered into a reactive period, a period that I call the Restoration. You know that, in France, “Restoration” refers to the period of the return of the King, in 1815, after the Revolution and Napoleon. We are in such a period. Today we see liberal capitalism and its political system, parlimentarianism, as the only natural and acceptable solutions. Every revolutionary idea is considered utopian and ultimately criminal. We are made to believe that the global spread of capitalism and what gets called “democracy” is the dream of all humanity. And also that the whole world wants the authority of the American Empire, and its military police, NATO.
In truth, our leaders and propagandists know very well that liberal capitalism is an inegalitarian regime, unjust, and unacceptable for the vast majority of humanity. And they know too that our “democracy” is an illusion: Where is the power of the people? Where is the political power for third world peasants, the European working class, the poor everywhere? We live in a contradiction: a brutal state of affairs, profoundly inegalitariawhere all existence is evaluated in terms of money alonis presented to us as ideal. To justify their conservatism, the partisans of the established order cannot really call it ideal or wonderful. So instead, they have decided to say that all the rest is horrible. Sure, they say, we may not live in a condition of perfect Goodness. But we’re lucky that we don’t live in a condition of Evil. Our democracy is not perfect. But it’s better than the bloody dictatorships. Capitalism is unjust. But it’s not criminal like Stalinism. We let millions of Africans die of AIDS, but we don’t make racist nationalist declarations like Milosevic. We kill Iraqis with our airplanes, but we don’t cut their throats with machetes like they do in Rwanda, etc.
-Alain Badiou
Je ne suis né qu’une fois. Cela s’est fait à Saint-Félix-de-Valois, dans la province de Québec. La prochaine fois que je mourrai, ce sera la première fois. Je veux mourir verticalement, la tête en bas et les pieds en haut. À l’école, j’étais toujours le premier à partir. Je n’y allais pas souvent et j’y restais le moins longtemps possible. J’ai complété mes études secondaires à Joliette, avec les Clercs de Saint-Viateur. J’ai souffert six mois à l’École Polytechnique de Montréal. Enfin délivré, je me suis pris pour un commis de bureau et me prends encore aujourd’hui pour tel. Mais ceux qui embauchent des commis de bureau ne veulent pas me prendre pour un commis de bureau. Un mois sur deux, je suis en chômage. J’ai été dans l’Arctique avec l’Aviation canadienne, en 1962. Personne ne veut me croire. Je ne sais pas pourquoi. Je dis: « J’ai été dans l’Arctique. » Ils répondent: « Pas vrai. » En 1963, 1964 et 1965, j’ai fait de l’auto-stop au Canada, aux États-Unis et au Mexique. C’est fatigant. J’ai vingt-quatre ans. Je n’ai plus tous mes cheveux et toutes mes dents. Et cela m’écœure. Je ne me suis pas marié une seule fois encore. Les femmes ne veulent pas se marier avec moi. Si elles avaient voulu, je me serais marié tous les jours et, aujourd’hui, j’aurais à peu près 5,678 enfants. S’il n’y avait pas d’enfants sur la terre, il n’y aurait rien de beau.
-Réjean Ducharme présenté par lui-même lors de la parution de L’Avalée des avalés.
DEAR PM 