From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Cc: christelle alin <alin@villa-arson.org>
Date: Apr 3, 2006 9:10 AM
Subject: Prison-building boom coming: experts; Une personne est morte dans une explosion au centre-ville de Toronto
Dear Stephen,
Sorry I didn’t write yesterday. You know how it is. Friday night was
really busy at the bar. New moon. You know how it is. It was just
Peter and I working. Stressful at times, but good groups of people
were in, and tips were good. Practically paid rent for the month.
I slept in on Saturday, then met Judith and Danika at the hospital. We
took Mary to the Market for lunch. Afterwards I met Travis and his
sister Christine at the gallery. We patched holes, painted, and
straightened up the tools in the office. Then it was time to work
again. You know how it is.
Saturday night was a marked contrast to Friday; very quiet. It was
busy for a few minutes after 10:30. Everyone seems to travel in packs
and go places at the same time here. You know how it is. Went to
Elwoods after work to catch the last few songs from Hewy Lewis and the
News; their special April Fool Day show. Very camp, very synth.
Slept in a bit Sunday morning then set out to view the exhibitions at
the SJAC. I need to find something to write about for the next issue
of <a href=”http://www.Coalfish.ca”>coalfish.ca<a/li> I was thinking
about the abandoned fountain down by the Courtney Bay. It looks like
cross between Duchamp and Picasso. Like either does the other.
Ate at Reggie’s for lunch. Worked on some writing. Came home and
worked on cleaning up the apartment. My parents drove in to collect me
and we went to the Hammond River Café for a hearty Polish feed. Now
it’s TV time! There’s an old Donald Sutherland movie on, Eye of the
Needle.
I’m picking up Claudine from the airport at noon Monday. Excepting the
couple days last week, we’ve been apart two weeks. Absence is not fun
but reunions are.
Good luck with the new opening of Parliament.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Cc: christelle alin <alin@villa-arson.org>
Date: Apr 4, 2006 2:05 PM
Subject: Father, kills wife, three children; Milliken est réélu président des Communes, donnant un vote de plus à Harper
Dear Stephen,
I ran into a couple Morons yesterday on the street and stopped for a chat. I always find it interesting and amusing to chat with Mormons. I learned a lot. For instance, I hadn’t realized before that Mormon believe that North America was populated not by differing tribes of Natives but “ancient inhabitants from Jerusalem”, two warring tribes, one pure and white, the other “cursed and black”, and that an angel named Moroni told Joseph Smith where to find a breastplate embedded with magic stones called “Urim and Thummim” which he would use to translate God’s word from gold tablets found buried in a hill, which would become the Book of Mormon. I’m wondering if what Joseph actually intended was “Book of Moron”, but perhaps due to a speech impediment, some sort of mumbling, the extra “m” was added.
Here are some other interesting factoids about the Mormons beliefs:
*God was once a man like us.
*God has a tangible body of flesh and bone.
*God lives on a planet near the star Kolob.
*God (“Heavenly Father”) has at least one wife, our “Mother in Heaven,” but she is so holy that we are not to discuss her nor pray to her.
*We can become like God and rule over our own universe.
*There are many gods, ruling over their own worlds.
*Jesus and Satan (“Lucifer”) are brothers, and they are our brothers – we are all spirit children of Heavenly Father
*Jesus Christ was conceived by God the Father by having sex with Mary,
who was temporarily his wife.
*We should not pray to Jesus, nor try to feel a personal relationship with him.
*”God” (“Jehovah”) in the Old Testament is the being named Jesus in the New Testament.
*In the highest degree of the celestial kingdom some men will have more than one wife.
*Before coming to this earth we lived as spirits in a “pre-existence” during which we were tested; our position in this life (whether born to Mormons or savages, or in America or Africa) is our reward or
punishment for our obedience in that life.
*Dark skin is a curse from God, the result of our sin, or the sin of our ancestors. If sufficiently righteous, a dark-skinned person will become light-skinned.
*The Garden of Eden was in Missouri. All humanity before the Great Flood lived in the western hemisphere. The Ark transported Noah and the other survivors to the eastern hemisphere.
Fascinating!
Anyway, my moron researching has already taken up far too much of my time today. I’m supposed to be working on gallery programming and grants! Yikes!
Last night I went to the Somerset for the View ‘n Brew screening of Superman but alas, the DVD was unattainable so we watched Raiders of the Lost Ark instead. Still a classic. I continued work on my Coalfish.ca article, which I finished this morning.
OK, on to another distracting pursuit: washing the dishes in the kitchen.
Have fun in parliament today!
-chris
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Cc: christelle alin <alin@villa-arson.org>
Date: Apr 5, 2006 8:09 PM
Subject: U.S. war dodgers to appeal ruling; Orford: Mulcair maintient qu’il n’avait pas approuvé le projet
Dear Stephen,
After some discussion between Claudine and I over the past days and
monitoring Judith’s progress we’ve decided to go on a cleansing fast
ourselves. So last night at Nep-tunes while waiting for the ten-piece
band to begin we had our last beers for the next ten days. We’re not
going to attempt the full forty days. Judy might not either; she keeps
changing her mind about when to stop. We’re content with ten days of
no food, just the fresh lemonade and cayenne pepper and laxative tea
and salt water flushes. Should be fun. Have you ever gone on a fast?
Or to you is this just new age, left-wing nonsense?
Speaking of left-wing nonsense, I just signed a petition calling for
an end to the human rights abuses happening in Darfur. Maybe you could
sign too. Maybe you could do even more. Since you seem so hell-bent on
keeping Canadians in Afghanistan, maybe you can ship some peacekeepers
to Darfur. Or something like that. Send some money. Send some food.
Speaking of food, I keep eyeing the pretzels but I won’t cave.
Especially since I’ve seen the old ‘pretzel in water’ trick on more
than one occasion. But I am hungry, and Wednesdays can be long at the
bar. Gives me a chance to work on gallery stuff and try out new music
for the bar iPod, or maybe read a bit. I’m currently working on Paul
Auster’s Book of Illusions and Maxime-Olivier Moutier’s Les trois
modes de conservation des viandes. To work on my french.
I’m finishing work early tonight as Clo and I have tickets to the
Constantines show at Elwoods. First night in a bar with a band while
on a fast. Should be interesting.
If you want to check out Judith’s fast blog check it out at
http://www.judeloveslemons.blogspot.com
To sign the Dafur petition click here
http://www.humanrightsfirst.org/international_justice/darfur/voices/index.aspx
-chris
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Cc: christelle alin <alin@villa-arson.org>
Date: Apr 6, 2006 11:57 PM
Subject: Tax cuts; Stronach se désiste de la course en blâmant les règles du PLC
Dear Stephen,
We’re nearing the end of day #2, and the first day of our proper salt
water flush. It is indeed a flush. Haven’t felt too tired or lacking
in energy today, and the odd hunger pangs are mild enough to almost be
ignored. I don’t know if my thinking is all too clear or linear, but
really, when is it? I find I’m thinking about food a lot, and am
looking forward to really enjoying well-prepared meals in the future.
Mark Leger came over at noon and we recorded a small interview for him
to use in his pitch to the CBC program Maritime Magazine. It was fun
but I think my mind was working overly tangentally.
Is that even a word? “My mind was working in much longer, disconnected
tangents”.
That’s better.
I find also, with this fast, that I perceive the passage of time a
little differently.
It was a busy night at the bar; a coalfish.ca meeting, a separate
party for triathletes, and a book club/baby shower party. Three
meetings at once; the bar was hopping.
I’m hoping to finish before close so I can catch a bit of <a
href=”http://www.torngat.ca/torngat.htm”>Torngat</a> , which should be
a fun band to see. There are some part-time members of Arcade Fire and
the belle orchestre in the band.
Last night the Constantines rocked out, I enjoyed the opening act as
well, The Meligrove Band. Both were loud, tight, dynamic, had great
presence. Clo and I supped on bottled water but managed the night
well. Treated ourselves to a cab ride home. The weather was a bit
cold.
I wonder how the cabbies can charge $8 for a 2-minute ride with a
straight face? The walk only takes seven. I’ve times it. Easy enough
to blame some sort of zone system but really, it’s highway robbery. Or
sidestreet robbery, whatever.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Cc: christelle alin <alin@villa-arson.org>
Date: Apr 8, 2006 2:39 PM
Subject: Slave honoured after 272 years; Le NPD veut supplanter les libéraux au Québec aux prochaines élections
Dear Stephen,
The salt water flush (SWF) is definitely the worst part of the fasting
process. I can deal with the lack of food, and the mild dizzy / weak
spells, and I enjoy the fresh lemon juice with maple syrup and
cayenne. But the SWF is downright nasty. Almost induces vomiting every
time.
Claudine worked with me at the bar last night. We were slower than
usual, except a few frenzied busy moments. A different crowd; more
Labatt Lite beer drinkers than usual. Lots of people coming in with no
idea of wine nor any imagination or inquisitiveness to try anything
new. People that come in and are immediately put off and confused and
angered because their favourite Moose Light isn’t available. As if
drinking a different beer will turn them into pillars of salt or cause
them to spontaneously combust. As it was, we were cleared out by
midnight, with the exception of Stephen Streeter, who was decidedly
getting drunk, and stayed a further half hour regaling us with tales
of his high school fights. By the end Claudine and I were too tired to
see the end of the Elliot Brood show at Elwoods and we caught a cab
home in the rain. Another eight bucks, or $2.50 per minute.
Claudine and I discussed the fast and neither of us feel going the
full 10 days is necessary. Where did that magic number come from? I
feel quite cleansed heading into my fourth day, thank-you very much.
Besides, we both love to cook and eat and really just wanted the fast
to kick-start a new relationship with healthier foods.
I have more gallery work to do before heading back to work at the bar.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Cc: christelle alin <alin@villa-arson.org>
Date: Apr 9, 2006 11:03 PM
Subject: Search for answers begins; Descente chez un motard vivant près du champ où huit corps ont été trouvés
Dear Stephen,
We both opted to do without the SWF this morning, seeing as the herbal
laxative tea we had last night and this morning seemed to be doing the
trick just fine. We went for a long walk around the uptown, shopping
occasionally when there were stores open. I was hoping a few of the
galleries would be open as I am planning to write an overview of the
exhibitions for this weeks’ coalfish, but everything was closed. Well,
the SJAC was open but I’ve seen that show. Flowers at Trinity,
watercolour landscapes at Buckland’s, pottery at Handworks and a mixed
bag at Cobalt, the moose drawings and high school art at SJAC and an
emerging artist show at Klausens: covering them all will be a bit of a
challenge.
We each worked a bit this afternoon, Claudine on translations and
myself on some gallery stuff, promo and grants. Felt tired and read in
bed for the latter part of the afternoon, and had a nap. Our fifth day
with no food and after my week at the bar I was feeling a little
whupped.
Claudine had made the soup broth the other day so tonight we tossed in
some cabbage, carrots and leeks, a splash of ginger and boiled it real
good and sat down and had our first meal since Tuesday. Munched on
some very tasty almonds and bean sprouts, and then chowed down a
scrumptious salad of cucumber, pear and freshly-shucked peas for
desert, while watching a documentary called Murderball, about
wheelchair rugby.
Other activities throughout the day also included searching the
Internet for places in and around Baie-St-Paul to have the wedding;
we’re hoping to rent a chalet for a weekend, a place big enough to
hold the ceremony and reception. Also washed a few loads of laundry.
We’re about to have some tea and a bath. Not a bad Sunday.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Cc: christelle alin <alin@villa-arson.org>
Date: Apr 12, 2006 12:49 AM
Subject: On verge of cancer crisis? Le gouvernement Harper présente son projet de loi pour “faire le ménage”
Dear Stephen,
Had a good full day. Started with breakfast, medium-boiled eggs, toast
soldiers, melon and coffee. Our first coffee in a week. Then work work
work. Grant deadlines are coming up. Soon. Ran some errands. Back to
the grants. Then more errands. The sun was out and the temperature
warm and it was hard to resist excuses to go for walks. Needed to buy
scotch tape. Needed to visit some galleries and finish my Coalfish.ca
article. Needed to pick up the new gallery stamp. Needed to buy ham in
the market for the pea soup. Left for a Continental Drift committee
meeting and then continued working at Sebastian over a martini.
Visited with Judy a bit, then met Claudine at Churchills for nachos
and beer. Bye-bye fast! Worked some more. Came home, took the garbage
out, washed dishes, made tea, played tail with Manu. Worked some more.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Cc: christelle alin <alin@villa-arson.org>
Date: Apr 14, 2006 1:07 PM
Subject: Summer gas prices expected to soar; Un convoi britannique pris pour cible par un kamikaze en Afghanistan
Dear Stephen,
Sorry I haven’t written lately. Last night at the bar was almost as
busy as a moderate Friday, and I was at the bar late Wednesday night
as well, though overall it was very quiet. All my free time this week
has been devoted to the grants I am writing for the gallery—three to
Canada Council and one to the province, for our annual pittance,
expected to rise this year to a whopping $13,000.
I left work last night and headed down to Nep-Tunes to catch the tail
end of the Scratch Bastid show. I haven’t seen him spin since my
Halifax days, even though he was playing shows in Montréal while I was
there. He’s indeed a genius with the turntables, and he had the packed
house grooving hard. The show went late, Spagos Pizzeria had closed by
the time we left, we scraped together leftovers for an early morning
snack.
Woke up before noon and had lunch at Reggie’s. Now it’s back to the
grants before heading back to work.
Oh, nice work on your tax break deals. I’ve read that you’re cutting
the budgets to Environment Canada’ global warming programs by 80% in
order to pay for your winy election promise to cut the GST by 1%.
Smooth move, Ex-Lax.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Cc: christelle alin <alin@villa-arson.org>
Date: Apr 16, 2006 4:15 AM
Subject: Loose lips sink careers; Le chef du NPD refuse toute alliance stratégique avec les libéraux
Dear Stephen,
You ass. I don’t even want to write to you tonight. You and your
stupid clampdown. What the fuck do you think you are running here,
some fucking lame dog and pony show? Get all your little cabinet
ministers to drop their blackberries at the door and keep all your
meetings a secret? Well, what else is new? Asshole.
I’ve just been to a not so great party—well, the party was OK, but at
the moment I feel like shit, and am pissed off at the lacklustre
attendance of people out at the bars this weekend, the weather,
breaches of confidence, etc.
And your policies of silence, of course.
Anyway, we drove to Fredericton today in a rental car to check out the
market but you know what? I’m so fucking pissed off right now that I
can’t even come close to expressing it in an email, so fuck you for
your patronizing, gung-ho attitude for more prisons, fuck you for your
pathetic $1200/per year day care “solution” for Canadian families,
fuck you for your stupid inattention to climate change and fuck you
for being so damn secretive. You make me want to puke. Asshole.
Don’t even get me started on real issues, or arts funding, or the
military. I give you lame-ass minority government six months.
Do you want to know the sad part? I was actually, secretively, and
genuinely, hoping you would make it work; that you were charmed, that
you would bring something to our politics that was lacking. Guess I
was wrong.
And yeah, I’ll look outside myself, and my grant-writing for the
gallery, and my trip to Fredericton today, and my current tiredness,
I’ll look beyond all of that to come up with the very real and
tangible idea that I can’t stand your politics and I can no longer
stay awake and must now get some sleep.
Tomorrow is St. Andrews, another vacation away from this city.
Incestuous mass that is is.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Cc: christelle alin <alin@villa-arson.org>
Date: Apr 17, 2006 10:47 PM
Subject: Slain biker laid to rest; La police US tente de relier deux délinquants sexuels et un Canadien, morts
Dear Stephen,
Sorry for the other night. I should never write to anyone while that
drunk, especially to you, the Prime Minister. Jennifer W. had thrown
quite the martini party, which was fairly unruly by the time I
finished work. Jay was serving “beertinis” and Bruce couldn’t stand up
straight let alone mix a drink. But fun all the same, despite the head
trip my drunken love sent me on. It was all cleared up in the morning
as we prepared to leave for St. Andrews.
On the way out of town we stopped at a house for sale on Princess
Street. It was open, empty, and spooky, especially the thrid apartment
we looked at downstairs. Heeby Jeebies. No light. A real major
fixer-upper. We’re enthralled with the idea of buying a place. We see
them everywhere, renovation projects. I’m aching to sink my teeth into
a rundown place and making it shine.
In St. Andrews we stayed at the Salty Towers. Wandered the quiet
downtown; nothing was open, it was easter sunday. We ate lunch at the
Kennedy Inn, read magazines, talked, relaxed, had a nap. Went to the
Algonquin for supper. Treated ourselves. Scrumptious.
Not much to do there today either. It was raining, not fun for walking
the beach. Ate breakfast at Neighbours, then drove home, stopping in
St. George for health food products of all things. We’d like to go
back in the summer and watch the salmon jumping up the crazy built
river steps.
Went to a viewing of the Tim Isaac Easter Monday auction. Went back
after dropping Claudine off at work and won a bid on a nice little
glass cabinet she had her eye on. But that was it. Ate at Elwoods
while working on the grants, worked at the building a bit until my
battery died, have been working at home the past while. Tomorrow will
be a final push to get them all done and in the mail before the board
meeting.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Cc: christelle alin <alin@villa-arson.org>
Date: Apr 20, 2006 7:38 AM
Subject: Protesters call for byelection; Peu de parents toucheront la totalité des 1200 $ promis par les conservateurs
Dear Stephen,
Sorry I didn’t write yesterday. I started while at work, but late in
the shift we had customers and so stopped and didn’t have a chance to
finish.
As I was saying: I barely managed to get the grants out on time the
other day. The most time-consuming part was just printing everything
off and keeping everything sorted. At the end of the afternoon I
borrowed Judy’s truck and drove Robyn to his guitar practice and then
hit Staples to rob them blind of photocopy services. They got me in
the end though; instant karma. They’ve switched from Canada Post to
Purolator-only service, and they are still learning the system.
Translation: I wait a half hour while the ladies behind the counter
learn the system. From scratch, it appeared. I should have gone across
the street but after ten minutes I figured it couldn’t be much longer.
After another ten minutes I thought the same and soon after that
resigned myself to spending the rest of the night there, or more,
perhaps all eternity.
Eventually it was all sorted out and I zipped back uptown to attend a
gallery board meeting, which also took some time but at least things
were accomplished. There is lots to do to get the gallery whipped into
shape before the puppet shows next week and Kelly Mark the week after.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Cc: christelle alin <alin@villa-arson.org>
Date: Apr 22, 2006 10:06 AM
Subject: Canada doing its part; 4 soldats canadiens ont été tués dans l’explosion d’une bombe en Afghanistan
Dear Stephen,
What the fuck! The price of crude hits a new record of $75/barrel
yesterday, for some reason over “concerns” regarding Iran and its
nuclear capabilities. How do “concerns” spark such an increase? But
forget about that, let’s think about how Canada reacts:
“Production (in Alberta) is expected to rise from 1.2 million barrels
a day to three million by 2020″.
How the fuck is that supposed to help reduce greenhouse emissions? Is
there some sort of sneaky math happening here? Are your accountants on
meth? Perhaps Jim Flaherty is.
“Flaherty, who met with U.S. Treasury Secretary John Snow, said the
two discussed the U.S. economy, border issues and the softwood lumber
dispute. ‘He reaffirmed the strong interest of the U.S. in trying to
reach a solution’.”
I’m so sick of that cop-out. If the US was really interested in
finding a solution they would simply comply by the latest in a string
of international court decisions that have weighed against them. Is it
just that they don’t like losing? Spoiled brats.
So happy-fucking-Earth Day, Mr. Go-it-alone, Mr. Silent “I don’t give
a fuck about Kyoto” and Mr. “Promise? What promise? Election Promises
are made to be broken”. I’m going out to pick up garbage around the
neighbourhood, collect Tim Horton cups and then spend the afternoon in
the gallery renovating. Ritchie’s is already on their way to the
building with drywall.
Oh, and great news from the Afghanistan front.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Cc: christelle alin <alin@villa-arson.org>
Date: Apr 24, 2006 7:50 AM
Subject: Rockets fired at Kandahar base; Les dépouilles des quatre Canadiens tués en Afghanistan sont rapatriées
Dear Stephen,
I just have time for a quick letter this morning before heading to
Fredericton on a top secret assignment. I’ll fill you in on details at
a later time.
Yesterday Claudine and I had a classic Reggie’s brunch, then we did a
little plastering and painting in the gallery, then it was home to
clean. We prepared a fun little supper for my parents; Claudine made a
homemade mushroom soup, salad and roasted vegetables; I tackled
smashed potatoes (which my dad smashed), and small trouts in salt
crust. Encrusted in salt. We needed to bash them with a hammer to
dislodge them from the salt. Very tasty.
Later,
-chris
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Cc: christelle alin <alin@villa-arson.org>
Date: Apr 26, 2006 9:44 AM
Subject: Federal spending still rising; Les médecins pourront bientôt suivre à la trace le dossier de leurs patients
Dear Stephen,
Sorry I didn’t write yesterday. I was feeling under the weather. Not
really sick, just in a bad mood most of the day. The weather sucked,
the news of the day sucked, my motivation sucked. Everything feels
behind schedule, the gallery is progressing slowly, an entire theatre
troupe arrives tonight and the house is dirty and our cyclamen is
dying for lack of water.
Yesterday Claudine and I looked at the house a couple doors up from
us. Overall it is in better shape than we figured it would be, but the
apartments are small and take up an awkward, inefficient amount of
space. The attic apartment could make a neat studio, but it would take
a fair bit of work. Plus the previous owners had started renovating
and ran out of money; now the bank owns it. I think we’ll keep
looking.
I’ve got a pile of stuff to do today before work, so I won’t comment
on your decisions to not hang the flag half-mast when soldiers are
killed because that is apparently just part of their job and should be
expected and isn’t a national disaster, and trying to muzzle the
media, allowing families “private time”, even though the media is
pervasive and will cover a puppy down a well or supposed armed
standoffs or blockades or protests or just about anything under the
sun with little or no regard for privacy or the feelings of victims,
so I don’t know how this will work, and at the moment I have too much
to do to bother with it.
-chris
DEAR PM 