From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Date: Jul 2, 2006 1:19 AM
Subject: Saskatchewan faces population crisis; Stephen Harper et Michaëlle Jean rappellent la bataille de la Somme
Dear Stephen,
Happy Canada Day. Did you see any fireworks? We heard them here, but
couldn’t see them from Sam and Kim’s backyard. They sounded good, like
a solid bombing might.
Any movement on the Portrait Gallery decision? I hope you change your
mind and let it open in the fall as planned. It would be a shame to
waste all those years of planning and collecting. A damn shame. It’s
like ditching the collective portrait of the whole country.
Claudine’s sister Jo arrived by plane this afternoon. We picked her up
after having a nap on the grass at Lilly Lake. We had driven out to
the Kingston Market (the original) for breakfast, and stopped briefly
at the new one afterwards, where we ran into Katie and Rich. They told
us about an art fair happening in Hampton so away we went. There were
some NSCAD kids with some interesting things and we bought a couple
prints from Geordan Moore. Then it was back to SJ to catch some of
Clyde A. Wray’s poetry at Trinity Enterprises and then the traditional
Canada Day Flea Market that takes over the uptown. It attracts a large
crowd who come uptown but once a year to find deals on used Barbie
Dolls, old bottles, VHS movies and cotton candy. Claudine did find a
nice desk at Tim Isaac’s which we took to her office.
It was slow in the bar last night. Went to a fun concert at Elwoods
afterwards with Karina. The band was called Immaculate Machine and
they were quite good and we each bought a CD. Hanging out with one’s
ex of many years is a bit weird but at the same time seems perfectly
natural. No pot this time around, not after the bout of paranoia from
last week. Either the stuff floating around is way too strong or my
tolerance has gone out the window. Any though to regulating the stuff
to allow for more consistency? Like I’ve said before, it could be a
good source of tax revenue.
Any movement on the Saint John harbour cleanup? Folks are getting
quite antsy and irate about it. You’d earn some good brownie points if
you threw some cash this way. It would have to be more than the third
of the 8 mill you’ve promised thus far.
We had a great meal at Opera tonight. Margaret seemed quite happy;
maybe it was because Germany beat Argentina the other night. The food
is consistently stellar there. The service was good too, though the
new girl kept referring to Claudine as “ma’am” and myself as “sir”.
Waaaay too formal. At least for us. Then again, who would want to be
referred to as “ma’am”? What do people usually call you in a
restaurant?
-chris
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Date: Jul 2, 2006 11:14 PM
Subject: Canada Day joyous; Stephen Harper espère améliorer le climat à sa prochaine rencontre avec Bush
Dear Stephen,
Did you round out your Canada Day weekend planning how to kiss more
ass with Bush or trying to convince us all why messing around in
Afghanistan for an indefinite amount of time is a good thing?
We were up early and headed to Reggie’s for breakfast. None of us
could handle the idea of Cora’s, what with the incomprehensible menu,
overwrought dishes and bad coffee filling the packed restaurant.
Despite the rain we headed to St. Martin’s to attempt some hiking
along the Fundy Trail. With Jo being five months pregnant we were
advised against attempting some of the more challenging routes and
instead walked a bit along the groomed trails. Surprisingly the
weather lifted and our moods improved, especially Clo’s. This rainy
streak has been really getting to her.
We drove to Sussex, but there was nothing open, so we continued to
Hampton and then Hammond River, stopping a the Polish restaurant for
an early supper. It was great. Filling, without serving overflowing
plates.
We drove back to the city and stopped in Hell’s Creation to see a
movie. we chose The devil wears Prada, starring Meryl Streep. A sort
of ordinary storyline, but I quite liked it. Some good snappy, snotty
dialogue.
We came home and watched pictures from Jo and Philippe’s recent trip
to Portugal. The sun was shining hot and hard in almost every frame.
The inverse of here.
I have to brush my teeth.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Date: Jul 4, 2006 10:22 AM
Subject: Wildfires rage; Un homme urine sur le Monument aux morts: c’est “terrible”, dit Harper
Dear Stephen,
Happy Independence Day. Any plans for celebrating the birth of the
world’s best and worst superpower? Maybe a love-in or circle jerk with
your new softwood buddy Anomalous George? Perhaps that’s harsh of me
to say. I apologize.
The sun finally came out yesterday. I drove Jo to the airport and then
stopped at Hell’s Creation on the way back to get some art supplies
from Kents. Worked on art stuff off and on for the afternoon but it
was hard to stay indoors. Managed to find some errands to run, such as
buying batteries that don’t work. For the record: Eveready batteries
suck. They suck big time.
Claudine and I met up on the patio at Elwoods and worked on our
computers in the sun while drinking beer. The life! Then we went to
yoga together. Jay is away on vacation so Jonas was leading the class.
He has a slightly different approach than Jay, and it felt more like
Power Yoga than the Beginners, but it was good. Jess, Claudine and I
went across the street to Taco Pica for snacks and pitchers of mojitos
and sangria.
Since we had borrowed the projector from the gallery to view Jo’s
photos from Portugal we decided to rent a movie and enjoy a full
home-theatre experience. Unfortunately we were late to the video
store—they were shutting the lights out—so we ended up renting a real
lemon of a movie: hostel. Gross, disgusting, gore-for-gore’s sake,
far-fetched storyline, bad dialogue, gratuitous sex, inconsistent
cinematography, the works. We watched salad and pallid fingers
animations afterwards to rid us of the bitter aftertaste.
My parents should be on the Coquihalla Highway today, cycling between
Hope and Merritt. Quite a distance away from the wildfires, but they
have a 27 kilometre climb along the route.
Even though I vowed to not train for the Marathon by the Sea this
year, I might go for a run with Jess this morning through the Irving
Nature Park. A few runs now and again shouldn’t hurt. Do you run? I
worry about the impact on the knees.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Date: Jul 5, 2006 11:32 AM
Subject: Sustainability within a generation
Dear Stephen,
I’ve been meaning to send this to for a long while but keep
procrastinating. You know I have a problem with procrastination.
Like millions of Canadians who care about nature, I was shocked to
hear about Canada’s poor environmental performance—28th out of 30
industrialized countries. This really sucks!
The David Suzuki Foundation has developed Sustainability within a
generation—a plan designed to make Canada a world leader in
sustainability and to protect Canada’s long-term quality of life.
Our country led the world in protecting the ozone layer and banning
land mines. We can summon that same ingenuity to make Canada
sustainable by 2030.
Your digital pen pal,
Chris Lloyd
—
Chris Lloyd Projects
http://www.dearpm.blogspot.com
A Division of ADD Painters:
“we’re here to swerve”
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Date: Jul 5, 2006 12:37 PM
Subject: PM’s gift to Bush;
Dear Stephen,
I’ve a few beefs with you today. I’ve heard that on top of spending
$17-billion on new helicopters, aircraft, ships and
helicopters—including those built by Lockheed Martin, yep, let’s just
keep that good old weapons manufacturer pumped full o’ cash—but now
we’re tossing up more than $650-million to improve our ‘links’ with
the top U.S. spy agency and to upgrade communications systems and
codes over the next decade. And what’s worse, I suppose, is that the
US companies have a lock on the tendering process, so high-tech
Canadian firms can’t even do the work, even though they are capable.
And then there’s the so-called Softwood Lumber deal. Lumbering across
our sovereignty like an eighteen-wheeler over a ripe tomato.
Make sure you wish George Warmongering Bush a happy birthday for me,
if you can stand the stench while your nose is rammed straight up his
butt.
And now more time is running out on the National Portrait Gallery.
This week the period for construction tenders runs out. If the
purchases aren’t made then most certainly the new quotes will be
higher, thus increasing the budget. And what’s Bev Oda’s logic behind
the delay and the review? “We want to find the most effective and
cost-efficient way for Canadians to view their collection of
portraits”.
Um, d’uh, wouldn’t that mean just finishing the damn thing on
schedule? Or perhaps you intend to compress the million works already
colected into a giant maple-leaf shaped turd that can sit alongside
the Trans Canada Highway somewhere. That would be effective AND
cost-efficient.
No, I suppose even that solution is too visionary for your government.
Speaking of visionaries, I was visited by a couple Mormons yesterday
whom I invited in for a chat. I’m halfway convinced that missionary
Mormons are the outreach agents of some bizarre cult or race of aliens
that intend to brainwash us all. I’ve invited them back next week for
what I’m sure will be stimulating discussion. If I stop writing you
after next Monday you can probably assume I’ve been successfully
brainwashed and transplanted to Utah to help living prophet Gordon B.
Hinckley build more mega-chapels. Fun!
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Date: Jul 6, 2006 11:10 PM
Subject: No veggies please; Le député Michel Gauthier du Bloc Québécois est en congé de maladie
Dear Stephen,
Just so you know, I am NOT training for the half-marathon. I ran around the Irving Nature Park with Jess on Wednesday, sure, but I don’t consider it training.
We had supper at Elizabeth’s house tonight; her mom made a great cheese dip appetizer, and we had gnocchi and salad and a rich chocolate fudge pie for dessert and red wine and talked about travels and art and boys.
I’ve opened the bar the past couple days and made a whopping ten dollars in tips. Things have slowed a bit as we ease into summer. We had a staff meeting with Peter at Opera this afternoon, having lunch on their terrace. The food is always, always excellent there. We discussed marketing ideas and overall plans for the summer.
I’ve been occupied with gallery stuff as of late. Lots of details and nerve-wracking shipping details for the next video show. Last night at the bar Nick gave me some good tips and I’ve heard positive feedback from Jamie at the paper regarding sponsorship but have yet to secure a location for the workshops to occur. The stress is setting in.
But I am oh-so-thankful that those terrible, horrible, malicious cretins who relieved their bladders on the National War Memorial have been captured. I’ll sleep better knowing that those hooligans will soon be locked up, perhaps joining those seventeen other troublemakers, punished to the full extent of the law. Did you and your new boyfriend talk about ways of getting around the current legal problems facing Guantanamo Bay?
I found time this afternoon at work to thoroughly update the songs on the bar iPod. Jess is closing tonight. I have gallery-related meetings all day tomorrow. I’m going to bed early.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Date: Jul 9, 2006 11:27 PM
Subject: Massive manhunt; Un soldat canadien meurt et deux autres sont blessés dans des combats
Dear Stephen,
Since George kept calling you ‘Steve’, can I call you Steve too? Will anyone bother telling him your name is Stephen or because he is President of the USA he can do whatever he likes?
Did you watch the World Cup final today? We watched it at Stephanie’s, after weeding in the garden and installing shelves in Claudine’s new office. We stayed until Zidane unfortunately head-butted himself out of the game, then I felt the French were cooked. At that point we were late for a barbecue at Bill and Signe’s. Al and Christina, who used to live in our apartment, were there, as were a couple other friends, and we ate and drank and had many desserts, eating on the deck outside, enjoying the summer weather. Finally!
Yesterday we drove out to New River Beach and enjoyed the sunshine thoroughly. Played Frisbee on the beach with Kate and Rich and swam in the river, scraping ourselves on the rocks as we tried to water slide the rapids. We were hoping to stop at Mark and Janet’s on the way home but we were tight for time. Barbecued at home before I headed to work. It was slow. Went to Neptunes afterwards to see Gary Flanagan’s CD launch but we found it a bit repetitive and we ended the night at Elwoods wit the Reckless Sweethearts.
I’ve been working on a painting for Judy’s auction, the Event in a Tent next week. She’s raising money for her Joints in Motion marathon in Amsterdam in October. I’ve also been trying to arrange shipping and transportation details for Jasper, the Dutch artist who is coming next month. It’s all very exciting but also a huge headache at the same time. In fact I’ve an early morning meeting tomorrow with Katherine at the SJAC to go over details; she had no record of our partnership. That’s a fairly big deal.
Speaking of the SJAC, we went to the openings on Friday night, Meghan and Andrea and Jason Fitzpatrick, but we went late, and everything was winding down. The shows looked good, and after work I caught up with the crew at Meghan’s apartment, where they were celebrating her birthday with a new kitten that Ben had bought her.
-chris
m: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Date: Jul 10, 2006 11:40 PM
Subject: Saskatchewan manhunt continues; André Boisclair est désespéré, soutient le premier ministre Jean Charest
Dear Stephen (Steve),
We’ve had to switch direction over which gallery at the SJAC to host Jasper’s work. I met with Kathryn this morning and she informed me that there have already been numerous bookings for concerts and the like in the Frazee Gallery. Once the track is laid down, it is very complicated and difficult to remove the projector. So now it looks like the exhibit will be in the Library Gallery. We’ll just have to build a false wall.
It took three trips to the bank to complete a transfer of funds to jasper in Amsterdam to cover his deposit and the costs of shipping the crate. The third time was a charm, as the cheque from the Dutch Embassy had arrived.
I’ve been working on sponsorship for the show but it’s my least favourite aspect of the job. I hate hounding people for cash and in-kind sponsorship. All the formalities get to me. Tomorrow I’m driving to Moncton with Judy to brainstorm, make notes and telephone calls. An office on wheels.
We had yoga tonight. Jay is away and Jonas is teaching all the classes. His take on Beginner is closer to Power and I like it, but it really is a workout.
Claudine and I drove out to my parents for barbecue and to check on the cats. Little Buddy and Yaga seem perfectly fine. We cooked salmon, scallops and eggplant on the barbecue, and Clo made a nice artichoke recipe on the stove.
More gallery prep and scheduling while watching a french live dance competition. Fun stuff. What sort of programs do you typically watch on TV? You do have cable, right?
-chris
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Date: Jul 11, 2006 11:31 PM
Subject: Slain soldier was ‘committed’; La SQ croit que le petit Alexis a été complètement aspiré par le tuyau
Dear Stephen,
I went along with Judy for the ride to Moncton and back this morning. Worked on the painting for her ‘event in a tent’ off and on throughout the day. She was going to Moncton to check out a venue for an event in the fall and I tagged along so we could brainstorm some sponsorship ideas for the upcoming video show. We made some progress.
Had a late afternoon meeting with my new pals Elder Davis and Elder Richmond. They gave me a Book of Mormon with some bookmarked passages to read. I told them I don’t believe in their take on their religion, that at best it sounded like bad SCI-Fi, and that it was conveniently predicated on self-fulfilling logic, but they seem convinced that if I only pray I will come to understand “the truth” and our purpose on Earth. Sounds tempting; you know what a sceptic I am. I told them I’d give it a shot.
What do you usually do when the Mormons come knocking at your door?
Claudine made a tasty kinoa salad and pizza for supper. We visited Bill and Signa briefly and took a tour of their house. They have done some great work to it and they have a ton of fantastic art. Very inspiring.
My parents have made it to Calgary. They are cycling demons.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Date: Jul 13, 2006 10:53 AM
Subject: Deadly chopper crash off N.S.; Ecrasement d’un hélicoptère militaire canadien: 3 morts et 4 blessés
Dear Stephen (Steve),
Had a long, fairly productive day yesterday. Worked on the painting for the Event in a Tent. Prepared for and had a meeting with Jamie and Adrienne at the TJ. They are in as overall print media sponsors of Third Space! Worked on other sponsorship packages, grabbed lunch from the Market, worked a bit more from the bar. Jess came to relieve me for supper, which I had at Elwoods, then I was back at work for the rest of the evening. It was a bit busier for a Wednesday, but it had a lot to do with the big lawyers convention in town. Talked to a couple sardine can engineers who were up from Boston. Went to O’Leary’s after work to meet Claudine, Tim and Andre. They are trying to come up with a name for their band. They liked ‘Cows Look Up’ but we suggested ‘Eat People Now’, from Michael’s show, which they seemed to like as well. I suggested ‘Chew My Cud’ but Andre seems to think that would work better as a song title rather than a band name.
In related news, we all just heard about the passing of Syd Barret. Were you ever a Pink Floyd fan?
I’ve got another full day of gallery stuff, plus the painting, plus in an hour I’m meeting Judy and some dancer named Tara to rehears some piece that I’ve been sucked into participating in at the Event in a Tent. Oh joy.
I think the hundred Support Our Troops ribbons I ordered online are finally here; just received the Delivery Notice. I actually bought forty of them yesterday from the Secondhand shop on the corner. They had a big table full of them, real cheap, $.50 each. They were hoping to sell to the tourists; there were a couple cruise ships in town.
$.50 about fits the budget of most cruise ship visitors. According to some Board of trade analysts each passenger spends between $90-$200 here, but most uptown retailers know that is a load of bunk. Why eat at a fancy restaurant when all your meals are paid for on the boat? They are only here during the day so don’t attend any cultural performances or events. They maybe buy a T-shirt or some postcards, dulse and other crappy trinkets. Take pictures of the fog.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Date: Jul 14, 2006 12:56 PM
Subject: Helicopter had history of problems; Blair et Harper sont d’accord à propos de la crise au Proche-Orient
Dear Stephen,
I was at the bar really late last night. A group of young, cute Québecoise girls came in again. Turns out they were with the lawyer convention that is in town this week. Turns out that they are Federal Crown Prosecutors. They got a kick out of hearing about my project. It gave me a chance to practice my french. Apparently one of the girls is now infamous in Saint John for showing up at the World Cup Final screening at Rocky’s Sports Bar and cheering crazily for the Italians; she’s French-Italian, so it makes sense, but because she was in a group of french girls and spoke french herself, no-one could figure her out.
Jason’s artist talk at the SJAC was well-attended. I’m not sure if everyone followed his discussion—he covered a lot of ground, starting with artists in Fluxus and going through dense performance-based works of Chris Burden, Marina Abramovic and others. It reminded me of school.
I slept in this morning, then Claudine and I finally had lunch on the Tea Infusion patio. The sun is out, a rarity indeed.
My magnets arrived by post today. I think I have enough to begin the photo shoots. Now I just need to find the time. I still have a fair bit of work to do on the painting for Judith’s Event in a Tent tomorrow, And I open the bar in a few hours.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Date: Jul 16, 2006 11:51 PM
Subject: Two Mounties shot by gunman die; La mort de Canadiens au Liban éclipse les succès d’Harper au G-8
Dear Stephen (Steve),
Sorry I haven’t written lately. How you must find me unreliable! Oh the guilt! My whole project is conceptually flawed!
You must be finding this whole Israel-Libya fiasco to be of unfortunate timing as you try to shine on the G8 stage in Russia. And the mounties dying back home! What’s next, more soldiers blown up in Afghanistan? I don’t envy your position, not one bit. And it also seems the Liberals, if Bob Rae can convince them, may vote against your softwood lumber deal, which will effectively two-by-four your minority government.
My friend Emily, who is organizing the show in Baltimore, actually likes that we have a Conservative government. She likes that it shakes things up a bit, makes us fight more for our rights, etc. I’m still pissed about the GST. 14% is such a stupid number! It makes no sense, there are far too many pennies now. And it gives you cause to claim that you need to cut other spending. Bye-bye, portrait gallery. Bye-bye, Kyoto. Bye-bye, gun registry. What else is on the chopping block?
Anyway, the reason I didn’t write all weekend is that things have been nuts. There was Judy’s Event in a Tent, which required that I build a frame (which I didn’t, I took the quick way out and had Pictures Plus cut up a nice black metal one for me), and there was Mispec Beach to go to in the afternoon, because it was sunny, a fluke I guess, and then an outfit to buy, from Frenchie’s of course, and Claudine fashioned me a fancy cut tie. And the auction went well, with Tim in fine form and praised my work above and beyond what was necessary and pushing the bidding up over $800, which resulted in David and Margo Doyle getting the piece. Heck, if I can get close to that for rooftops I’ll do more. They are fun to do, actually. Not quite the labour of love painting your smiling face is.
And today was Mary’s 80th birthday party, a whole new crowd, more white and purple hair, more stooped backs, very plentiful food trays, it never ended. I made her a picture that involves carrots; a bit of an inside joke between us. If you’ve ever eaten hospital food on a regular basis you’d know what I mean.
I don’t think I even told you about the magical Wax Mannequin show at Elwoods late Friday night, that resulted in Claudine and I and Tim heading to Garden Street for an afterparty and bonfire, staying up until almost 5 am. Every time I think I’m getting too old to party a weekend comes along where we are all over the place. We cabbed it to Katie and Rich’s last night with Jen and Dr. Bakota for amaretto sours and iMac Photo-boothing, after the Event in a Tent wound down, and I had an incident with the gelato and Judy’s freezer.
But let me back up: the food, catered by Opera, was extra-ordinary, in the Joel Plaskett sense of the word, who incidentally we missed Friday night but saw during the songwriters circle Saturday afternoon. The food was incredible and included big tubs of gelato. By the end of the night one of the tubs was still almost full and I tried to put the melting mass into the freezer. You know, to help out. It spilled EVERYWHERE. Luckily my suit jacket only cost $10 from Frenchies. It is probably permanently stained. So now you know the gist of the gelato incident of 2006.
We’re at my parent’s house tonight. We biked the trail around the rec centre to stave off tiredness, then bought pasta sauce from Shoppers Drug Mart, the only place in suburbia open past 9pm on a Sunday night, and veritable mecca for restless suburbanites. Watched brainless TV. Now I’m sleepy, but I only have 2 days left to read Goodbye Columbus before the next book club meeting. Luckily it is a short book.
My parents are outside Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan. Two provinces down, eight more to go.
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Date: Jul 18, 2006 7:09 AM
Subject: Age of consent
Dear Stephen,
I am writing to express my opposition to the proposed increase to the age of consent in Canada from 14 to 16.
Bill C-2, passed into law in 2005, already prohibits ‘exploitative’ relationships with anyone under 18. This new legislation would not protect youth; it would criminalize non-exploitative youth sexuality.
There is also significant evidence to indicate that youth will be less likely to seek sexual health information or assistance if their activities are criminalized.
Increasing the age of consent is a regressive and dangerous move that will put youth in jeopardy by driving their activities underground and inhibiting access to information.
I urge you to vote against this bill.
Sincerely,
-chris
—
Chris Lloyd Projects
http://www.dearpm.blogspot.com
A Division of ADD Painters:
“we’re here to swerve”
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Date: Jul 18, 2006 7:34 AM
Subject: Fallen soldier Boneca laid to rest; La mort de Canadiens ne change pas la position de Harper sur le Moyen-Orient
Dear Stephen (Steve),
Don’t you find it odd how the media describe lobbed missiles as “air attacks” when from Israel and “bombing” when from Lebanon? Isn’t it the same thing? Why describe it differently?
I love your “tit for tat” summation of the escalating crisis in the Middle East. “Mom, he hit me first! Did not! Did too! Did not!” I guess the “turn the other check” doesn’t resonate with you. Naw, you’re more an “eye for an eye” kind of thumper, aren’t you now? Where does that logic leave us?
Speaking of religion, my pals Elder Davis and Elder Richmond came by to convert me yesterday. I wasn’t prepared as I hadn’t done my homework, so they’ll try again after we come back from vacation.
I worked on gallery stuff most of the day, sponsorships and trying to arrange things for when we’re gone. Received good news and bad news but then more good news in the mail. Good news: received a Canada Council grant for an upcoming Book Arts exhibition for the gallery. Bad news: didn’t get the Karen Tam grant. That leaves us thus far with only our operating funds to cover it. Which were $3,000 less than promised s but what recourse does one have when the program officer leaves her post before the budget comes down? Good news: received another Canada Council grant for the Kitchen Party series of interventions and performances. This ones a double edged sword: a massive amount of work just materialized on my plate, and the projected date for the performances is already late September / early October. Yikes!
So after yoga yesterday we went to a Tim Isaac auction a the trade and convention centre and I was totally sucked in. I didn’t leave the brightly-lit, cavernous hall full of junk and trinkets for over six hours. The lights made me dizzy and the place smelled of babies and hot dogs and pad thai and tasted like soot and pooh. Tim is a masterful auctioneer though and it was hypnotic watching it all unfold, especially near the end when, despite no breaks after many hours, the pace increased and lot upon lot was presented, hoisted high and auctioned off. My patience was rewarded: I bought folding chairs for the gallery, Claudine bought a nice wooden chair for herself (which Kuan is already sleeping on), I bought a steamer trunk, two typewriters, a working slide projector and a screen and a photo of the King’s Square War Memorial. All that for less than $80. The slide projector, screen and typewriters were purchased for a total of $2. It’s obscene, really. Like legalized theft.
Then the really odd thing was cracking the lock off the steamer trunk and finding all sorts of memorial material inside: get well cards, Deepest Sympathies, birth certificates, baptismal dresses, hankies, notes, schoolbooks and photos of the embalmed, all dating from the late 19th century to about 1955. Very, very bizarre. All for $8.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Date: Jul 20, 2006 11:06 AM
Subject: Day, Chertoff attempt to ease fears; Stephen Harper est arrivé à Chypre pour y accueillir des Canadiens en fuite
Dear Stephen (Steve),
It was another longer-than-normal Wednesday night at the bar. It was so quiet earlier, hardly anyone before I took a three-hour supper break to drive out to the valley with Claudine to have a barbecue at my parent’s house with Trevor and Tamara. They had driven up from Nova Scotia earlier in the day. They are on their way to Mt. Carleton, in the northern middle part of the province, for hiking and camping. Their two big German Shepherds (one is still growing) keeps life interesting for them. The cats were nowhere to be seen; probably hiding in the bushes, wondering exactly what had happened to their house. I wonder if they saw me burn all my nostril hairs off in the giant fireball from the barbecue. I had left the gas on for a split second too long as I reached inside for the lighter. I hate the smell of burned hair. I lost some length on my eyebrows and eyelashes and bangs, as well as the hair on my right arm. This wasn’t the only Homer Simpson event of the evening, but it was the most severe, and not really severe at all. The rest of supper went well, with Trevor cooking up some tasty marinated steaks. Clo and I drove back in town and I relieved Peter just after 10pm. He was ready to close but we ended up with a steady stream until 1am.
Did I tell you about the recent CC project grant results? Total opposite of what i had hoped/expected. I anticipated getting Karen and not the two others, but the inverse happened. We didn’t get Karen’s Chinese Restaurant, but the performance-art festival Kitchen Party. A whole lot more organizing, as it involves half a dozen out-of-province artists and some from Moncton. We also got the funding for Jo Cook’s book arts exhibition. Good news is always mixed with bad; I really wanted Karen’s show. It would have been a great catalyst for building relations with the Chinese community. Maybe next year (providing you are still in office), you could consider that last little bit of extra funding for the Canada Council. For your information, from that April 15 competition, they received 123 applications seeking a total of $1, 231, 000. They awarded 27 for a total expenditure of $296,000.
I am meeting shortly with the deputy mayor to discuss arts-related issues and funding, over lunch in King’s Square. I just had coffee and scones with Claudine at The Infusion. We were without power this morning as Saint John Energy crews are out front hooking up new power lines. An advance letter or notice of some kind would have been nice; as it was, we had a guy ring the bell out of the blue and ask if we can cut the power. I guess it’s nothing of the scale of inconvenience like that experienced by those trying to flee Lebanon, or having your friends and family bombed all to hell. Oh wait, it’s just a “measured” response, right?
-chris
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Date: Jul 21, 2006 9:14 PM
Subject: Canadian on U.S. terror list; Les Canadiens continuent d’arriver à la maison après un voyage épuisant
Dear Stephen (Steve),
Welcome back to Canada. I heard you rescued almost a hundred Canadians with your airplane. Good work! Any thoughts on toning down your pro-Israeli stance, and at least appearing balanced? You’ve sure upset a lot of people with your comments. Did you catch what Israeli ambassador to the UN Dan Gillerman said recently?
“Gillerman said Israel will maintain its assault on Hezbollah for ‘as long as is necessary,’ and rebuffed comments Wednesday by UN’s human rights commissioner, Canadian Louise Arbour, that attacks in which civilians have died could qualify as war crimes. ‘That statement is totally irrelevant,’ he said.”
Wow, killing civilians in Lebanon is considered “totally irrelevant”. Well, I guess they are following the lead of their biggest supporter—the US—and just ignore the Geneva Convention when it doesn’t suit their foreign policy. Don’t get me wrong: I’m on the fence on this issue. I think that there should be a state of Israel and I would hope that Arabs and Jews would just learn to get along and share, but that would probably be hopelessly idealistic of me. Maybe we just need to stamp out extremism in all its forms, which is a course of action that is in and of itself a bit extreme. But humans can’t live together unless there is tolerance and respect for differing views and beliefs. So please try to not get sucked into the blame game of who started what: you should slap sanctions on both parties until they learn to play safe.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the uptown in Saint John is dead (not dead like victims of bombing in Lebanon, Afghanistan and Iraq—hey, have you noticed how the multiple bombings and continued escalation of civil war in Iraq is now relegated to ‘briefs’ on the back pages, and barely mentioned in any detail? Yesterdays news?), no no, not dead like that, just quiet and empty of people. Where is everyone? Shoreline? Cottages? Home watching reality TV?
Speaking of TV, last night I went to my first book club meeting at John’s house. We were talking about Philip Roth’s Goodbye Columbus, a classic summer-love story. Only one out of the five of us had TV, and we all were cat-people. Odd, no?
-chris
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Date: Jul 27, 2006 1:10 AM
Subject: Harper doubts attack on UN deliberate; Une juge refuse que Guité reste aux Etats-Unis pour une durée indéterminée
Dear Stephen (Steve),
Sorry I haven’t been writing. I’m on vacation, and decided to take a
break. I’ve been writing you since February and have yet to receive
even a reply from your letter-answering minions, which leads me to
believe you are the least responsive (at least to me) PM we have had
in the past dozen years or so. But if you must know, on Saturday we
drove through Maine to Québec, spent a night at a B&B near Sugarloaf,
went hiking on Mt. Mégantic (in foggy misty rain), and stayed with
Caroline a couple nights, and Sarah for a couple. Last night we saw
Mathieu et Génevieve perform, had supper at Chez Doval with Melissa
and Rudy and Sarah, and today we went to Shawinigan with Karen to see
a fabulous exhibition by Cai Guo-Qiang, the Chinese artist who makes
drawings with gun powder, and was exhibiting a bunch of cars, Ford
Tauruses to be exact, and stuffed tigers, and an excavated barge.
Tonight we swam in the pool in Parc Laurier, then I went to the MAC to
see the Brian Jungen show, and met Claudine and her friend Anne at a
restaurant in the Mile End. We’ve been loving Montréal, of course,
though the weather has been iffy, and the service at most of the
restaurants we’ve been eating at has been poor, and there have been at
least as many downs as ups, if not more; discussing our relationship,
my terrible french, and planning the next year or so of our lives, has
been up in the air. I am suffering from iMac withdrawl, and from
having dreams about the next exhibition (very, very technical dreams),
and from hearing about war every time I catch a snippet of news. How
depressing.
Anyway, we’re on the road again tomorrow, visiting Claudine’s
grandparents and friends and her parents. I’ll write again sometime
soon.
-chris
From: chris lloyd <dearpm@gmail.com> Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: pm@pm.gc.ca
Date: Jul 27, 2006 11:03 AM
Subject: Israel detaining Canadian professor; Une juge refuse que Guité reste aux Etats-Unis pour une durée indéterminée
Dear Stephen-Steve, (Stevie-Steve),
I presume you are playing some sort of a diplomatic tap dance around a
flagpole as you try to conform to your buddy George’s vision of
pro-Israel-no-matter-what, with the emotions of the actual citizens of
your own country, most of whom are probably mortified by Kofi Annan’s
accusations that the recent bombing of a UN outpost—which killed a
Canadian, as you are well aware—was deliberate. I love how you dance
away from this accusation, claiming a “full inquiry” blah-blah, all
the while trying to flip the blame on the UN itself, wondering aloud
why the operation was continuing amidst “a state of war”. Doesn’t this
statement actually give tacit approval to any nation to invade another
that it deems housing terrorists, or, in your buddy George’s language,
“evil-doers?” So why not all of us in the white cowboy hats simply
bomb the shit out of every country that sports a black one, regardless
of the shape or size or colour of the hats worn by the civilians?
By the way, how the hell does bombing a UN outpost twenty times, even
after being notified almost a dozen times beforehand, constitute an
accident?
Armies should be outlawed. Nations should be allowed ’emergency
forces’, or maybe resting militias, organizations that could offer aid
in times of natural disasters. Can you imagine a world without armies?
Sure, might be a little boring for the history books: no more great
wars, huge massacres, slaughters or stolen territories, but people in
general might be a
little more happy.
-chris
DEAR PM 