from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Thu, Dec 1, 2011 at 9:44 PM
subject Attawapiskat: Harper rencontrera les chefs autochtones en janvier; Emails punch holes in MacKay’s excuse for Cormorant flight from fishing holiday
Dear Stephen,
I am still alive. I survived the second Sketchup class. I got a little lost in all the details surrounding scenes, but handled components fairly well. When I got home we hung out with Rose and moved and watered plants and cleared the front balcony and installed the winter plastic on the balcony door. Had a slight supper (takeout from Motta; Clo declined my offer to make pizza. Too much pizza lately.) Finished my Canada Council annual grant application. How many times have I applied now? Six? Seven? I’ve lost count and can’t be bothered to research it.
We’re off to watch a movie in bed, perhaps The secretary.
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Sun, Dec 4, 2011 at 8:47 PM
subject Périmètre de sécurité: de nouveaux pouvoirs sont prévus pour le Canada; Two Mounties shot in Alberta standoff
Dear Stephen,
I am still alive. I survived the Timber Timbre concert at l’église St-Jean-baptiste last night. We waited almost an hour in the cold outside, the line was moving at a snails’ pace. Why? We have no idea, will have to ask the organizers. The concert was really magical, so I am less concerned about the wait. Water under the bridge, so they say.
Today we had Sarah, Etienne and Femke over for brunch and the afternoon. It was fun for us and the girls, who played together, ate together and then napped at the same time. They even took a walk and held hands for a full block and a half, with Stacy and I on either side.
Came across a great website today that might help confuse some of your “confusion” over how $90-million in federal funding (since 2006) was spent at Attawapiskat : http://apihtawikosisan.wordpress.com/
Rose is still coughing, we are now trying these suppositories, as well as forcing the nasal mist on her. We want to wrestle this cough to the ground.
Big week ahead: picking up the car from Canadian Tire tomorrow (finally got organized to the get the car there to change the tires); SKOL meeting of the CA and Annie from Flying Squad on Wednesday; Xmas Party for the Conservative Party members in Montreal on Thursday; DHC Xmas party on Friday as well as another date night for Clo and I as she bought us tickets to the OSM for Holst’s The Planets; and le famille Hubert Noël in Île Perrot on Saturday. If I don’t write you much, it will be for those reasons, as I will also be working all week, and have the final Sketchup class on Wednesday, and need to finish some Xmas shopping.
Now off to eat Claudin’es famous salmon soup.
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Mon, Dec 5, 2011 at 9:48 PM
subject La Chambre des Communes adopte le projet de loi C-10; Attawapiskat kicks out federally appointed third-party manager
Dear Stephen,
I am still alive. I survived another Monday at work. Today it was Claudine who made a slow-cooked dish (in our staircase), yummy chicken. Washed dishes and made another wood-burning offering for the Conservative Party; you should check out my blog, I posted new pics already. You know the address.
I received a call for submissions I’m jazzed about and think I will apply for. It is the 2012 AGYU ABotM (Artists’ Book of the Moment). I will either submit all 11 editions of the Dear PM books or perhaps compile ALL the letters into one single edition. This will require lots of formatting in Open Office, which could be a good thing as I could finally do a decent page-by-page edit. Good grief, what am I even thinking? This will take too long. I don’t have this kind of time.
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Tue, Dec 6, 2011 at 9:41 PM
subject 7,5 millions pour célébrer le jubilé d’Elizabeth II; Attawapiskat residents are ‘dying slowly’ as Tories question spending, chief says
Dear Stephen,
I am still alive. Survived another slightly chaotic day of work. Happy World Aids Day. Happy National Day of Remembrance and Action on the Violence Against Women Day. Odd, that day is not mentioned in the 2012 Conservative Party of Canada calendar that I received (two times). Also, there was a protest at the annual memorial for the Montreal Massacre against killing the gun registry. Oh, and happy St. Nicholas Day.
I’m scanning the nifty “sustaining donor” card I received in the mail from your party. I will post it on my website. There was another business reply envelope included, so I still have a small collection to keep me in wood-burning gifts to the CPC mode for a while yet. I’m going to start using small lengths of two by fours.
Off to have a shower and then to read through a document prepping us for a 3-hour brainstorming session at SKOL tomorrow night.
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Sun, Dec 11, 2011 at 10:11 PM
subject Daniel Paillé élu chef du Bloc québécois; Former Quebec minister elected Bloc Quebecois leader
Dear Stephen,
I am still alive. I survived the DHC and PHI office Xmas party, my Inlaws family Xmas celebration in Île Perrot Saturday, sleeping on an air mattress, and a visit to an Xmas-themed park this afternoon to eat warmed-over hot dogs with my daughter. I was hoping that there would be more animals then the two sheep. At least she say a couple horses pulling a cart. She had a blast playing with her cousins and stayed up late and watched for the first time part of an animated feature, Ice Age.
We went downstairs to Judith and Jeremy’s for a drink earlier this evening after Rose had gone to bed. Now we’re cooking a soup and getting ready for the work week. Clo and I are both broke so we have planned meals and lunches for the whole week, to get us past payday on Thursday. It is odd to live paycheck to paycheck and still try to plan for eventually buying a property, getting life insurance, savings, paying off debts etc.
Aarg and I still have Xmas gifts to get before we head to Maine in a couple weeks. How do you ever find the time to do your Xmas shopping? It was cool in Claudine’s family this year we all bought 2-3 books and opened them and decided who they were for afterwards. It was fun to have a big pile of books under the tree.
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Mon, Dec 12, 2011 at 9:14 PM
subject Le Canada se retire du protocole de Kyoto; Feds ban veils at citizenship ceremonies
Dear Stephen,
I am still alive. I survived another Monday at work. A busy one, too, as I am trying to finalize many details of the shipping, transport and certain technical aspects before the office closes for the holidays. Speaking of holidays, I received your Xmas card in the mail today, thanks. Today at work, as we all finished signing the hundredth tech photo Xmas card individually, we wondered how people in huge companies or governments manage to hand-sign their cards, and now I know: digital printing. Of course, we all suspected that anyway and I don’t think it diminishes at all the thought and good cheer that goes into each and every card.
I brought my laptop home from work to finish up a layout for the ridiculous Amentia project. Off to do that now, after posting blog updates all over the place. I’m trying to at least tie your Klout score of 61, which means I have to climb 14. I really have no idea how to do that except by getting more shares or adding more friends or something. Who has time to do all this?
Oh, and way to go on dumping Kyoto. I just wonder, why didn’t Peter Kent say that Canada was going to leave the accord while in Durban? He kinda lied, didn’t he, regardless of trying to not “distract” the talks? Anyway, everyone knows that climate change is a big hoax anyway, so way to save us all $14-billion! That almost gets you up to zero-deficit! You should just start speaking the truth on where Canada now stands on climate, and not even bother with double-talk. More savings!
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Tue, Dec 13, 2011 at 9:04 PM
subject Les cibles de Kyoto étaient «stupides», dit Harper; Lax federal monitoring putting Canadians at risk: Environment commissioner
Dear Stephen,
I am still alive. Kyoto is not, at least not in your pale blue eyes. Kyoto is dead to you, and probably always has been.
I’m sorry but I don’t want to be an emperor. That’s not my business. I don’t want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible; Jew, Gentile, black men, white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each others’ happiness, not by each other’s misery. We don’t want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone. And the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way.
Greed has poisoned men’s souls; has barricaded the world with hate; has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge as made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost. The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in man; cries out for universal brotherhood; for the unity of us all.
Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women, and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me, I say “Do not despair.” The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish.
Soldiers! Don’t give yourselves to brutes, men who despise you and enslave you; who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel! Who drill you, diet you, treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder! Don’t give yourselves to these unnatural men—machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines! You are not cattle! You are men! You have a love of humanity in your hearts! You don’t hate! Only the unloved hate; the unloved and the unnatural.
Soldiers! Don’t fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! In the seventeenth chapter of St. Luke, it’s written “the kingdom of God is within man”, not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you! You, the people, have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure. Then in the name of democracy, let us use that power.
Let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth a future and old age a security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power. But they lie! They do not fulfill their promise. They never will! Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people! Now let us fight to fulfill that promise! Let us fight to free the world! To do away with national barriers! To do away with greed, with hate and intolerance! Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men’s happiness.
Soldiers, in the name of democracy, let us all unite!
Hanna, can you hear me? Wherever you are, look up Hanna! The clouds are lifting! The sun is breaking through! We are coming out of the darkness into the light! We are coming into a new world; a kind new world, where men will rise above their hate, their greed, and brutality. Look up, Hanna! The soul of man has been given wings and at last he is beginning to fly. He is flying into the rainbow. Into the light of hope! Into the future! The glorious future! That belongs to you, to me, and to all of us. Look up, Hanna! Look up!
(Final speech from The Great Dictator, written and delivered by Sir Charles Chaplin)
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Thu, Dec 15, 2011 at 9:15 PM
subject Attawapiskat demeurera sous tutelle pour l’instant; 4 dead in southern Alberta multiple murder-suicide: RCMP
Dear Stephen,
I am still alive. Another fast day at work, spinning out plans, spitting out emails, dealing with the phones-non-phones situation, the rain, the perpetual darkness. But I survived. Rose survived walking to and from daycare. Clo survived her cold/flu by staying in bed all day. I need now just a shower and to finish some tidying up and maybe then there will be a movie in bed or reading or something. I leave you with a funny column I read and sent you on Twitter and shared on Facebook etc. :
Let me tell you what it is to be a man among men. My drink of choice is whiskey, straight-up, with a whiskey back. That’s right, ladies, I chase whiskey with whiskey. When I drink beer it’s Budweiser, and I drink it out of the bottle, or off of a woman’s naked, heaving breasts. I have a perpetual three-day beard, I rarely change my clothes, and my scent of choice is my own sweat. (Axe Body Spray for special occasions.) I’m married, but only so that I don’t have to make my own cold-cut sandwiches or clean my house or underwear. I have a lot of unprotected sex with women who are not my wife, but I don’t call it sex, I call it fucking, because I’m a man. When I come, I scream out, “Take that, woman!” or “Touchdown!” or “Russ Courtnall for the win!” I own a handgun. I vote Conservative, with a big “C” as in “cock,” which I often have out as I rock out, which I do all the time. I wear Levi’s. I drill and cut stuff. I listen to country music and AC/DC, and that’s it. I spit a lot, and I smoke unfiltered cigarettes, and I really enjoy fondling my own testicles. I like football, and hockey, and Don Cherry, and sitcoms on CBS. I don’t read books, and my newspaper of choice is the National Post, because, as a man, I read Mr. Christie Blatchford.
Truthfully, I am none of the above. Well, mostly. I like country music and AC/DC and hockey. And whiskey. And breasts. But I also really like a good hug, which Mr. Blatchford railed about in a recent National Post column. I’m a hugger. I hug everyone. I hug like it’s the cure. My sister, who is much smarter than I am, claims that seven hugs a day is a cure of sorts. Of course, she has a husband and two young children, so her hugs number in the mid-eighties on a slow afternoon. And a mother promoting hugs is kind of like a dairy farmer praising the medicinal properties of milk. My hugs are harder to come by. I have to track my hugs down to get to seven. I hug my friends, their partners, my mum and dad, professors, co-workers and postal carriers. I don’t see anything effeminate, or unmanly, about my affection for hugs. But Mr. Blatchford saw it as part of the sissification (the very manly Mike Milbury’s word) of Toronto’s men, a sign of the times, a time of unmanliness.
My issue with Mr. Blatchford isn’t just his thesis, but also in the manner in which he so poorly defends it. I know he writes for the National Post, but still, a newspaper’s level of writing should at least exceed that of an underachieving college student. Mr. Blatchford contends that he is the most masculine person in most of the rooms he enters, and while I don’t doubt that, I do wonder why an article about masculinity begins by quoting Third Eye Blind. Most guys I know would find it more manly to be caught drinking a Cosmo wearing a pink frilly dress and getting a pedicure while holding another man’s penis in their teeth than willingly reference “Semi-Charmed Kind of Life.”
His article continues to tell a little tale about teenage boys hugging each other on Yonge Street. It’s important to Mr. Blatchford that we know he has a bull terrier, for some reason, and he and the dog are appalled by the sight. To me, pubescent boys being secure enough in their masculinity to hug each other is a sign of society’s progress, and of the youngsters’ inherent manliness. So sure are they of their manhoods (even before their manhoods) that they freely touch other males in a non-sexual manner. Would Mr. Blatchford rather the boys high-five, or hit each other, or go to a Pee Wee hockey team hazing and molest each other with sticks? He fails to offer an alternative to the hugs.
Somehow, and with little warning or style, Mr. Blatchford retreats into an argument about the Fords and UFC fighters and the Toronto District School Board. He takes a shot at those who thought that anti-bullying messages from UFC fighters were hypocritical, especially when directed at younger children. He implies that such disapproval of UFC is unmanly, and not allowing the UFC messages to reach the children will retard their manly growth. I’m not quite sure what’s so manly about greased-up men touching each other while wearing Speedos, but I know that when I lived in Costa Rica it cost 1250 colónes to watch it from a private room. A sharp right turn finds Christie knocking the TDSB, arguing, “In Toronto, actual education routinely takes a back seat to anti-bullying messages, gay-positive education, recognition assemblies and social justice.” Maybe I’m naïve, but isn’t that what a public education is? Just as much about society and social dynamics as maths and sciences? Otherwise, why not homeschool our children? Or let The Wiggles do it?
After this, Mr. Blatchford’s argument gets quite muddled. There are some shots at the Toronto Star and some cheering for the poor Fords. For some reason he brings up badminton. He writes of Toronto’s modern men being “delicate, slender and arch, not sportif.” He is very careful to remind the reader not to confuse unmanly men with gay men. His qualm is with the heterosexual man’s decline. In fact, he writes, “Gay, as I’ve mentioned, is entirely fine. Fey is a pain in the arse.” I’m sure the gay community is ecstatic that Mr. Blatchford believes its sexuality is “fine.” Also, he should look up the definition of “fey.”
His point reaches its climax here:
“But holy smokes, I am wearying of the male as delicate creature. I am wearying of men who are so frequently in touch with their feminine side they, not to mention me, have lost sight of the masculine one. I’m just plain sick of hugs, giving and getting, from just about anyone, but particularly man-to-man hugs.
And the novelty of being the toughest guy in the room — and by this I mean me — is getting really old.
In aid of all that, let me offer a few reminders of the way it was once upon a time and really always should be.”
And this is where I lost my sense of humour, where the ramblings of a silly columnist put me over the edge. The antiquated “when men were men” argument. Of late, there have been many stories about sexual abuse in North American men’s sports, particularly college and junior sport, where men are left to their own devices to be men—that is, to teach boys how to be men. The Sanduskys, Fines, and James of the world: men being men around other men. That turned out well for everyone, didn’t it, Mr. Blatchford? Perhaps Mr. Blatchford believes it was unmanly for these victims to come forward “mewling” to the authorities. American comedian and political pundit Bill Maher had a great point on this subject, arguing that when men are left alone, without the reason and dissent of women, bad things happen: the Catholic church, the Middle East, college sports, junior hockey, Two and a Half Men, and so on. So while Mr. Blatchford yearns for yesteryear, when men were men and took matters into their own hands, when hugs were for girls and sissies, I look forward to tomorrow. I look forward a generation that doesn’t define masculinity and femininity as opposites, and when the best of all genders defines a better people. A future in which people don’t support the Fords, or watch E Talk Daily, or read National Post columns except for the jokes.
I’ll admit that I am not the most manly of men. I listen to a lot of sad alt-country songs. I am a published and somewhat respected poet. My favourite soft drink is Diet Ginger Ale. When I was three my mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I told her I wanted a pink party dress. And I hug. Do those qualities make me effeminate? (Forget about the pink party dress for a minute.) I don’t think so. I think they make me evolved, and blissfully unaware of the need to quantify degrees of gender or benchmarks of sexuality. Tonight, in fact, I’m going to a poetry reading and drinking whiskey, hoping for Mr. Blatchford’s sake that the latter evens out the former.
I met Mr. Blatchford once at the Governor General’s Award Ceremony in Ottawa. He was wearing a black gown for some reason, which very much is counter to his argument that men should be more manly. I was a bit intimidated by him, mostly because of the desperate nature in which he demanded to be the centre of attention. The girlish tattoo on his breast revealed by his décolletage seemed fairly unmanly as well, but his husky voice and bullish attitude more than made up for it. Had I known then what I know now—that Mr. Blatchford suffers terribly from loneliness, that his only friend is a bull terrier, that his vocabulary is so challenged and anachronistic that he freely uses phrases like “holy smokes” and “nervous Nellie”, that he listens to Third Eye Blind on purpose, that he spends his free time making lists of “25 Things Every Man And Boy Should Know How To Do”, that he defends the Fords—well, I would’ve given Mr. Blatchford a hug. And I would have let it linger, until we both felt better about ourselves.
From Mike Spry’s blog. Spry is the author, most recently, of Distillery Songs (Insomniac Press).
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Fri, Dec 16, 2011 at 9:38 PM
subject Un sénateur conservateur contre le projet de loi C-10 de son propre gouvernement; Maher: Taking the measure of Parliament’s health
Dear Stephen,
I am still alive. Survived a Friday at work; emails, negotiations, following up after people. Stacy and I went to the wood shop and cut the Toriac screen down to size with bevelled edges. Not a super-easy job but manageable with 2 people.
Dropped Rose off and picked her up from daycare without the stroller. She walks most of the way or I carry her on my shoulders. Clo was at the clinic, getting penicillin for her laryngitis.
Think I might watch a movie inside tonight (too late to go out). Perhaps the Adventures of Baron Munchausen, have you ever seen it?
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Sun, Dec 18, 2011 at 8:41 PM
subject Ottawa veut accroître la sécurité de son corps diplomatique; Expedited decision could kill Keystone XL project
Dear Stephen,
I am still alive. I survived the weekend, and the sudden drop in temperature. I took Rose to the clinic Saturday morning and we froze our buns off on the way there (since she refuses to get in the stroller now, so only walks or gets carried). She has clear pus draining from both her ears, but she doesn’t seem to be in any unusual pain. No fever, either. Still, we got a prescription for drops and we make a game out of giving her the drops (we all get drops) as we have to do it twice daily.
Today I finally removed the last of the shelves in the front room and patched some holes, preparing for painting. We plan to paint the end of the week before we head to Maine but suddenly I don’t have all my Xmas shopping done and don’t know when I’ll do it. Tuesday is a Hanukkah party at S. Roberts’ place, and Clo claimed tomorrow as a catchup night for herself. Maybe Wednesday? Thursday night is painting…Friday we have Rose all day, plus packing. How did the week fill up already? Plus I made a budget for myself and found out I am still broke. Where does all the money go? I must eat it.
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Mon, Dec 19, 2011 at 11:27 PM
subject Baisse des transferts en santé: les provinces en colère; Stop jailing HIV-positive Canadians for not telling sex partners: Doctors
Dear Stephen,
I am still alive. I survived another Monday. Also I survived crazy, vivid stressful dreams last night about the Parreno installation. In my dream the screen was forty or fifty feet long but only six feet high. The thought of putting this actual screen up is starting to stress me out.
I barely survived carrying Rose on my shoulders to daycare this morning; I twisted something on my neck and could hardly move it all day. In fact I still don’t have full rotation.
This evening I made shelves for the closet and placed all my tool boxes inside, and finished a second coat of plaster on the walls. The room is practically ready for painting. Also I prepared cubes of beef for the slow-cooker tomorrow; it is our contribution to Sarah’s Hanukkah party tomorrow evening. And I sorted a year’s worth of family photos for printing before the holidays.
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Fri, Dec 23, 2011 at 7:03 PM
subject Stephen Harper dit s’ennuyer de Jack Layton, son défunt opposant; Syrian President Assad’s fall ‘a matter of time,’ says Baird
Dear Stephen,
I am still alive. I survived a heck of a busy week. Sorry I haven’t written in awhile. Work was crazy, like a yo-yo or a spinning top. Lots still to do when we return on the 4th. Managed to finish my Xmas shopping today before spending the last eight hours with Rose. Clo had a spa day with WWKA. Tarik dropped off a wireless doorbell, so I’ll go install the button part and start loading the car up. We leave early tomorrow morning, as it is a 7-hour drive to Lake Pushaw. I may not write much but I’ll send you Tweets ever now and then, if I have a cell connection.
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Sat, Dec 31, 2011 at 12:28 AM
subject Bob Rae ne veut pas de hausse des primes d’assurance-emploi; Report on deadly Pakistan border skirmish highlights lack of trust, communication
Dear Stephen,
I am still alive. I survived five days with my family on the shore of Lake Pushaw in Maine. We had snow and skied for 2 days, then it rained and washed all the snow away, then it got cold again. There was lots of reading and card-playing, as well as some walks outside. Good food and drinks, not a whole lot of conversations; my family is more reserved in that department. The cousins liked to play and run around together.
Today I started painting the front room. Caroline and Francois came over for a visit in the afternoon. Clo took Rose to the clinic as her ears still leak a little and stink a lot. She is finally on antibiotics now. Tonight we had Darsha and Peter over for supper. Claudine made salmon with lime leaves.
Too tired to write more.
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Sat, Dec 31, 2011 at 10:00 PM
subject Forte baisse des dépenses en Viagra au Ministère des Anciens Combattants; Vancouver mayor’s former foster son still at large
Dear Stephen,
I am still alive. I survived 2011.
Claudine has strep throat, Rose’s ears still smell but not as bad, and the front room is still not painted. I’m about halfway done. It will be my first concrete resolution for 2012, to finish painting that room.
Sarah is also sick so our New Year’s Eve plans have been cancelled. We started watching The Apartment on Netflix but Clo fell asleep. I can’t imagine how we would have functioned at a party with other adults around. I’m still in my painting clothes, which are basically daytime pyjamas.
Will try to watch Infoman online before heading to bed. Happy New Year!
-chris
DEAR PM 