from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Mon, Jan 5, 2015 at 10:32 PM
subject Rare rencontre entre Harper et la pm de l’Ontario; Blood services boss attacks OPSEU safety ads
Dear Stephen,
I am still alive. I survived 2014. My Dear PM project now enters its fifteenth year. A full-on teenager! How were your holidays? I survived mine. Back to work today, which also means I’ve survived another Monday. The kids are good, they quite enjoyed their break, and Sol is almost, almost completely off his soother. He has become quite a chatterbox without it! No major calamities, his elbow went out of joint again and this time Clo took him to a chiropractor to re-set it.
The weather is crazy. We drove to Ottawa on Saturday to attend a Hubert family reunion (and open the contents of a time capsule the family sealed fifteen years ago). It snowed on our way there, but by morning had changed to rain. We drove home in the rain, but this morning everything is frozen solid. And baby, it’s cold outside!
I’m nervous about 2015. For one thing, I need to make a real decision about whether to nominate myself as candidate for Papineau. I should just finish the application and get my minimum 25 party signatures and see what happens. I bet the party will still reject me, and for good reason: I’m a lousy conservative! How many new members or volunteers have I attracted? None! How much money earned? None! How much enthusiasm do I even have for this project? None!
Anyway, Happy New Year.
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Thu, Jan 8, 2015 at 9:36 PM
subject «Le mouvement djihadiste international a déclaré la guerre», dit Harper; LeDroit’s editorial cartoonist talks about slain friend at Charlie Hedbo
Dear Stephen,
I am still alive. I am still grumpy and depressed as well. It’s been a rough start to 2015, and I’m not even referring to the news, Charlie Hebdo or cops getting shot or the price of gas. My own frame of mind is brittle and worn. I have no ambition or motivation and find pleasure nowhere. I think only of the mundane repetitiveness of our daily grind, the pointlessness of our jobs, the stress of raising kids and the finality of death. Bah. What a grumpy old man I’ve become! I don’t want to do anything: no political BS, no painting, no drawing, no writing, no reading, no music, no TV, though we did finish Godfather II last night, but I feel no urge or rush to finish that series. Not even a mild curiosity. Why do I get this way every year? Is it SAD? My mom claims to get it, maybe it is hereditary.
In any case, I survived the week back to work, tonight I picked the kids up early, we ate early, got in pyjamas early and they went to bed early, Sol sleep by 7:45 and Rose by 8:15, which is I think a record. Clo working late, I had a shower, am going to finish writing you and then read a bit, maybe finish The Flamethrowers and then keep on with 100 Years of Solitude. I’m practically done with Facebook so not too worried about getting sucked in there. I feel like disappearing. I’ve been playing Two Dots again on my phone and am stuck on a level that is driving me crazy it is so difficult. Another pointless useless stupid distraction.
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Mon, Jan 12, 2015 at 12:37 PM
subject Plus de 20 millions versés par Ottawa aux clubs de motoneige du Québec depuis 2006; Is the victim surcharge the next Tory crime agenda failure?
Dear Stephen,
I am still alive. I survived the weekend. I seem to have achieved a kind of stasis with my current bout of depression. Despite feeling largely lethargic and unmotivated I can still rouse myself to action and even find some pleasure in little home renovation projects. This past weekend it was under-counter lighting, new lighting above the kitchen sink, and finally installing the schoolhouse electric lamps in the hallway on a dimmer. Lloyd Electric strikes again. I also hung the painting from Byron, above the iMac sitting in the “studio”. It is still mostly a playroom and area to watch videos for the kids, with all my clothes and documents and random art-making supplies stuffed into the re-formatted closet, which is still without doors. So is the studio. So is our bedroom. While my unpacking and sorting of files and papers continues at a snails’ pace at home, I am also filing and archiving documents at work as we prepare to move our technical offices up to the seventh floor. We’re booting Victoria and Jon out of their office, Education is moving to our old office and the former Education office becomes a conference room. Times, they are a changing. Or not. I finished reading The Flamethrowers and am now onto Ben Lerner’s 10:04, which was a gift from Clo this past Christmas. I’m trying to read it carefully. It feels weirdly like I could be reading something autobiographical, or at least something like I could write, if I had more ambition or drive and was better read and had a wider vocabulary. I would work on something like this except that when I am home I don’t even feel like turning on a computer, let alone write, or invent. This is why I haven’t been writing you much lately. Maybe from now on I’ll write you from work, during the day, while on the payroll of a private foundation. I can work it into my daily tasks, between changing a lightbulb and revising a floorplan. If I ever get the drive to work on a computer at home I’ll try to start formatting my letters from 2011 onwards. And finish editing some videos. And archiving photos and videos of the kids, before we lose them to some eventual disk failure and then have little or no memory of what our kids were like when they were 1 and 2 and 3 years old. Even though I find that the act of recording an event, a small snippet of video even, helps cement that memory a little bit. It’s the non-recorded moments that are lost. To prevent further erosion I try to take moments from my day, either alone or in the middle of a crisis, to consciously imprint upon my memory the salient details of the moment: the quality of light, the placement of our bodies in space, the intensity of the screaming or quiet, but it never seems to be fully retraceable. In any case, though I resolved to not make resolutions, I will endeavour to get myself up to date with my Dear PM project, in fact simply to follow-through with the list of resolutions that I made last year and which we recently found in all the turmoil of packing and unpacking from the renovations. I’m starting to think that I’ll not advance much further in my application to become candidate in Papineau. I don’t have a campaign manager nor a financial officer, and the thought of tracking down signing my papers the 25 members is daunting and adds needless stress. It basically means a meandering and ill-defined infiltration project may be sputtering to an early close, but in any case I’ll remain president as long as I can and maybe just burn all the documents, haha! Just kidding!
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Thu, Jan 15, 2015 at 9:58 PM
subject Baird en Israël: la visite de lieux sensibles finalement écartée; Federal budget delayed until at least April, spring election unlikely
Dear Stephen,
I am still alive. I am still feeling depressed though. I haven’t had time to write from work as we have moved our office. I spent all day yesterday driving around a 16-foot long Discount truck. Barely got it parked up on Marconi in time to pick the kids up at the end of the day. Have had zero desire to get on a computer at night. Mistakenly upgraded our iMac at home to Yosemite, which in rapid hindsight now appears to be massive mistake. Tonight we’re staying at Pip’s as Mike and Niko started sanding the finish off our kitchen tiles today. It is going slower than expected; we thought they’d be done today, but are only halfway. The new sealant cannot be walked on for 8 hours so we might be staying here tomorrow night too. Today at work we spent the whole afternoon in a team-building exercise called Me, Myself and Wine. I’m sure you can imagine just how thrilling it was. As far as these corporate-style exercises go it wasn’t all that bad, just not my cup of tea. Or wine, or beer, or whatever you choose for your poison. Clo is feeling under the weather with flu-like symptoms but has too much work to do so cannot take time off to rest. She’s asleep with the kids right now, who actually fell asleep with me earlier, no crisis! At least Sol fell asleep almost right away, Rose took a little longer. I could have probably gone to an opening at Diagonale tonight but I still don’t feel like facing and speaking with people. The Wine thing today was like a mild ring of hell in that regard, it was tough putting on a faux-face and even mildly participating. I’ll sit in bed and avoid facebook and play Two Dots on my phone until it infuriates me and I’ll go to sleep.
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Mon, Jan 19, 2015 at 9:37 PM
subject Le Canada s’oppose à la volonté des Palestiniens de poursuivre Israël; Canadian special forces calling in air strikes and shooting ISIL gunmen
Dear Stephen,
I am still alive. I survived another Monday. I also survived our counter installation. The guy came this morning, one guy, and in two hours had the two pieces down in place with the holes cut for the sink and tap. I puttered around the house the rest of the day adjusting the dishwasher, the sink, some shelving and some lighting. The counter looks great; wish I could say the same for the floors. The family and I stayed at Pips 2 nights last week, the second night was Friday and I came back to the apartment in the evening to apply the sealant. It didn’t absorb evenly, so now the floor looks splotchy. Needs a second coat (we think/hope) which we’ll maybe do sometime this week. It’s a bit of a production, moving everything off the floor and not being able to walk on it for 8 hours.
And in CPC Papineau news, got an email about a 4-6 (like a cinq à sept, only an hour earlier, I presume) with Peter MacKay tomorrow, and tonight Michel called to ask if I was going and again to see if I’ve come to decision regarding my candidacy. I’m not sure, on both counts. I’m not sure if I have the fortitude to run a real campaign, let alone a bizzarro one. I do want to take the CIMS training later this month, though now that I’m running Yosemite on our iMac I doubt I’ll ever figure out how to install Windows so I can run CIMS. The whole computer runs slower now. Thanks Apple! Now should I shell out $150 for more memory in the hopes it will run faster? Maybe I’ll ask Google. I should also ask what are good birthday gifts for 2-year old boys (I know that one: trains or cars) and my wife.
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Mon, Jan 26, 2015 at 10:50 PM
subject John Foster est nommé sous-ministre de la Défense nationale; Airlines cancel Ottawa flights to New York, Boston, as Nor’easter looms
Dear Stephen,
I am still alive. Sorry I haven’t written in, like, forever. As you recall, I was depressed, and just not in the mood to complain over and over again about things that are really quite inconsequential, all things considered. Big news recently is that the nomination period officially opened in Papineau last week sometime, which gives me just over 1 week to finalize EVERYTHING if I am going to try to take this candidacy thing to the next level. Tomorrow night I am attending a CIMS training session. Even hired Luisa to watch the kids as Clo has a VIVA board meeting, and shaved and showered tonight. The beard was getting a tad on the scruffy side, to put it mildly. I’m off to bed to finish A hundred years of solitude before tackling the David Foster Wallace Read that Clo picked up for me yesterday. Maybe the vitamin D drops in the morning are helping? Slowly but surely I seem to be climbing out of the hole. On Saturday I sent off an application off for a residency in Newfoundland at Gros Morne National Park; I proposed bring the Everyday Goalie. Fingers crossed – I’ve always wanted to go to Newfoundland!
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Tue, Jan 27, 2015 at 11:05 PM
subject Apologie du terrorisme: des lois sont nécessaires, dit Blaney; Fortney: Her Excellency Sharon Johnston celebrates Calgary charities
Dear Stephen,
I am still alive. I survived the CIMS training, what little of it was left by the time I arrived. The Blue line shut down at Park, and rather than wait in line with the 300 other folks trying to get on an extra bus, I walked home and got my car, but then drove to the wrong community centre in Cote des neiges. Who knew that there was more than one? Not me. In any case, the training was boring. Jerry had arrived just before me, victim of the same STM clusterfuck. I drove him home. Less than 10 days before I need to submit my application; he is urging me to get on it. I did manage to convince Iliana to become a member today at work. We had Luisa come to babysit, the kids adore her. She’s coming on Thursday so I can go to the Peut Faire Mieux opening (again in Cote des neiges!) and possibly maybe on the 7th, for Clo’s birthday we are participating in another of Sophie Castonguay’s public performances. Oh, and today I received an email from the Canada Council about the missing image from my application December 1, so I had to finally draw out the bronze proposal. Looked not half bad in the end!
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Thu, Jan 29, 2015 at 11:14 PM
subject Wynne et Trudeau déplorent l’absence de Harper au Conseil de la fédération; CRTC report: Nine things to know about impending changes to your TV, online or off
Dear Stephen,
I am still alive. I am stressed about the nomination process, the forms, the documents, the signatures, everything. Tonight we had Luisa come again but Sol threw a crisis because I was taking my phone with me which contains the Imperial March (the Darth Vader theme from Star Wars) that he has been listening to repeatedly during mornings and when we get home. He loves it! Anyway she is really good and texted me five minutes after I left to say he had settled down already. I went to the opening of Peut Mieux Faire at la maison de la culture de cote des neiges, but didn’t stay too long as I wanted to get a jump on contacting some #cpc members in parc ex to maybe get a few signatures. Know how many I got? NONE! One person had moved, I left one message, one guy – John, who works in the PMO I believe – none of his numbers worked, another person’ kids would answer the phone then promptly hang up, and I have one call-back scheduled for tomorrow evening. On the plus side, Clark joined up and signed, and also fed me pirogies. Earlier in the day I had Karen sign up, and I have a few outstanding requests that might get me another 6 signatures. Still less than halfway to the 25 mark. Tomorrow afternoon and evening I hope to track down some more. And I need to actually finish filling out the application, including such questions as “why do you wish to be a candidate for the conservative party of canada”? That’s indeed a loaded question. Surely my competition must be having a difficult time as well?
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Fri, Jan 30, 2015 at 11:05 PM
subject Financement: 2014, meilleure année en dix ans pour le PLC et le NPD; Supreme Court ruling could pave way for federal union challenge on right to strike
Dear Stephen,
I am still alive. I survived a day off, and a trip to the dentist with Rose. She was an excellent patient, kept very still when asked, and was interested in the whole process. I spent the day getting groceries, washing laundry and calling #cpc members to get signatures. In the end I only got one actual signature, but a half-dozen tentative RDVs for the coming days. Had lunch with Clo as she had lent the car to AJ, I picked up sushis. I am afraid to look at my bank balance. Also my banker at TD emailed me to say she couldn’t get an account open quick enough for my campaign financial officer. I don’t really have $1000 kicking around but we might be able to scrape it together from all our credit sources. I think from my understanding of the #CPC rules the money just needs to come from my nomination campaign account, which could be a current account no? I have to bend the rules a bit. I already know that not all 25 members in Papineau are going to sign my nomination, yet the party asks that all members be in good standing 21 days before the nomination deadline, which is impossible. This gives me some hope that whoever my competition is, he’s having a harder time meeting the guidelines than I am. In other news, I was up to 399 followers at one point today but have since dropped back to 397. Who really takes the time to un-follow people? Why do I mildly care?
-chris
DEAR PM 