from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Jan 7, 2018, 10:33 PM
subject Les élus masculins doivent dénoncer le harcèlement, dit Nathan Cullen; At least two children
among dead in Nova Scotia house fire: Red Cross Dear Justin,
I am still alive. Happy New Year! I survived 2017! And the Holidays! And I feel I am FINALLY climbing out of that recent funk, the deepest darkest depression I can remember for a long time. I’ve been down into the studio a few times these past few days, with the temperature so low we’ve only managed short trips outside with the kids for brief periods of time. I finished reading Sapiens, which along with Debt is giving me lots to think about. I haven’t been meditating or going to Cross Fit in the past two weeks but plan on re- starting that regimen soon. Clo and I watched Call me by your name last night, a very good film. Anyhow, I’m off to bed, working at SBC tomorrow (but don’t tell EI please).
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Jan 10, 2018, 10:22 PM
subject Justin Trudeau se dit indigné par l’indemnité versée à Omar Khadr; Canada worked with India in
attempt to ‘secretly’ extradite honour killing suspects: defence lawyers
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I am surviving. Are you bored of this greeting yet? Perhaps for 2018 I should change it up. Yesterday was my first session with Yaël after the holiday break, we discussed cycles, and how I feel I am coming out of the fog, and also we continued probing further into the past, trying to find potential roots to the cycles of depression. I haven’t told her yet about this PM project, nor my foray into politics in 2015, though I have a feeling it plays a part. In other news, work continues at SBC but a half day today as there was a workshop with the visiting curator Sepake Angiama in the afternoon so I met Mohanad and we went to Anne’s new house, nearing the end of construction, to measure the closet spaces and discuss her needs. We’ll put a proposal and rough estimate together in the coming week and hopefully it will be the Mo and Lloydly Show, back in action! Afterwards we ate a late Pho on Rosemont then Mo caught the metro and I continued to Home Despot to get a few supplies for SBC, drove them down and then back home to get the kids. Our strategy is to pick Rose up first and give her time alone at the house to do her homework while we get Sol, except she gets distracted easily and I am not as disciplined as Clo. I don’t want to work when I come home, why should kids? Then again, writing to you is a form of work, I guess. Also I am online filling out forms to get my $25 payout from Loblaws for the bread price-fixing scandal. There are plans afoot to donate the cards to shelters and food banks.
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Jan 11, 2018, 10:26 PM
subject Les chefs de parti doivent condamner fermement l’inconduite sexuelle, dit Singh; Ontario
mobster was ‘stalked’ before his killing, now police are hunting drivers of four cars linked to hit
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. Today was a good day, I wore my Charlie Brown T-shirt, and progress and good decisions were made regarding the space at SBC, but I don’t feel like writing, so I will simply say goodnight.
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Jan 14, 2018, 10:28 PM
subject La reprise des travaux parlementaires à Ottawa s’annonce tumultueuse; Critics fear the
government’s national security bill puts Canadians in the crosshairs
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived a very, very late night, a party at a fabulous loft apartment in Old Montreal, I tried some MDMA and mushrooms and a few vodka sodas but I never really was that elevated, which I think is due to the anti-depressants. We got home around 6am, and Romy our sitter woke up and went home just past 7, and then Sol and Rose were each waking me up every half hour after that to make bowls of cereal or fix Netflix video playback problems. I was supposed to go to Cross Fit bootcamp at noon but skipped it (I went to Cross Fit on Saturday, braving the tail end of the storm, then doing an hour of work at SBC before collecting the kids and taking them to Walmart and Toys R Us to spend Christmas gift money from my grandmother and Aunt Anne, Sharon and cousin Lee). I took Rose to meet her friend on the mountain for some cross-country skiing but her feet were cold from the get-go and she became hysterical ten minutes into our ski, we had to turn back her feet were freezing and causing her such great pain. She kept repeating how I didn’t understand how it felt. We stayed inside the chalet and drank hot chocolate before the girls played outside some more, then we went for groceries, then picked up Clo and Sol from a playdate, then we came home and I bathed the kids while Clo made supper. Now it’s way past my bedtime I can barely keep my eyes open.
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Jan 22, 2018, 10:15 PM
subject La vision du monde optimiste et ouverte des Canadiens remise en cause; No charges, no
investigation — but DND declares Vice-Admiral Mark Norman is guilty
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived another week. Can you believe it has been more than a week since my last letter? Last week I was working under the table for a neighbour of Anne’s, wiring up a ceiling lamp, adding insulation and caulking to a wall and windows, grunt work but it keeps my manual skills up. I had a couple good sessions with my therapist last week, went to Cross Fit twice (am worried the intensity might give me a heart attack), missed my appointment for new blood work, worked on plans for Anne’s walk-in closet (she wants it all custom now), this past weekend hung out with the kids a bit, though both Rose and Sol had playdates on Sunday, which gave me more time in the studio. As a family we watched Avatar on Friday, cheesy lazy story but the graphics held up. I hear Cameron is planning sequels. Rose fell asleep and Sol lost interest. His latest favourite video is Robocar Poli.
Today after getting up with the kids, making breakfasts and lunch for Rose and getting them off to daycare and school, I decided to take a small nap and woke up at 1:30. Needless to say I did not clean the bathroom or wash the floors, though I did vacuum. Almost have 4 of the map-word paintings close to completion. Aside from the unusually long nap, I’m feeling more and more like myself lately. I’m thinking of discussing this Dear PM project more in depth with my therapist tomorrow, I think it might unlock some clues as to my patterns of behavior.
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Jan 24, 2018, 11:09 PM
subject Jagmeet Singh critiqué pour son utilisation des médias sociaux;Ontario PC leader Patrick Brown
says he will fight ‘troubling allegations as three top aides resign
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived another morning nap, this time until noon. Managed to get myself moving, disconnected the kitchen tap (I think I forgot to tell you the shower hose has been leaking since before Christmas), and took it to the Ramacieri warehouse for an exchange – this time of the whole unit. Stopped by Michael’s to chat with he and Mohanad, who was laying the electric wire for the new heated floor. Met up with Tanya at Olympico to share stories of our artistic and depression challenges. I had a good session with Yaël on Tuesday, I had to bring Rose with me as schools were cancelled. What do you do when schools are cancelled for your kids? I can’t remember is Sophie working? You have nannies right? Lucky I am just under or unemployed. I’ll have Rose this Friday as well because I missed the deadline to sign her up for the sliding activity for the journée pédagogique. I’ll take her someplace nice, like the planetarium, if she is into that. Anyway, I finally broached the Dear PM and my political projects with her, I think we’ll need to spend more time discussing it but I feel it will be a good catalyst to getting out of my slump. Still have not cleaned bathrooms, washed floors nor cleaned the kids’ room, though we are actively planning a re-design of their room which is exciting to me. We’re planning to get a bed frame for Rose but leave the platform up as a more dedicated storage and play area. Oh, and the new tap is installed, though I needed to buy a couple hoses as the ones included were just a couple inches too short. D’oh!
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Jan 29, 2018, 10:12 PM
subject Réforme fiscale: le ministre Morneau inondé de messages; Three new counts of murder after
skeletal remains found in planters at home related to Toronto landscaper Bruce McArthur
Dear Justin,
I am still alive blah blah blah. I survived the weekend alone with the kids; Clo was hanging with childhood friends in Quebec City and skiing at le Massif. She left Friday, so I brought Rose to my psychotherapy session again, and then we grabbed the metro and bus to the cinemas at Cote des neiges and watched Jumanji, the re-boot with The Rock. Later that night we watched the original, with Robin Williams. On Saturday Rose went ice skating with friends and I took Sol with me to Julien’s house and dismantled their defective bathroom ceiling fan. Sarah and Pascal came over for supper but didn’t stay long, she had a toothache. Rose watched the Neverending story. I am getting good at finding torrents.
Sunday Rose went to her mixed martial arts class with a friend, the price of which caused Claudine to become exasperated with me upon her return. I signed Rose up for the year, to take advantage of 3 months free, but perhaps $350 was a bit much. Was it an impulsive purchase? Perhaps. Can I afford it? Not really, but what can I afford, really? My EI will run out in March and I am still $9,000 in debt, and have no savings. And that’s not counting the $2500 I owe revenue Quebec. They’ll get theirs from whatever tax refund I’m due.
Universal basic income would be really great.
I’m off to bed. Meanwhile, Sol keeps jumping out of bed every time he hears a snow (ice) removal truck go by outside. It makes him so excited!
-chris
from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Jan 30, 2018, 9:37 PM
subject Cannabis: le NPD soupçonne les libéraux de favoriser leurs amis; ‘It’s a Catch-22’: Deathly-ill
patient in ICU barred from liver transplant list unless he enters rehab
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. Had a good WOD at Cross Fit and then a good session with Yaël. We talk a lot lately about capitalism, regiments, schedules, time, space…I haven’t yet told her my plans to either A. Abandon my debts completely, as in walk away from the line of credit-credit card debt, or B. Become a bank robber (but I won’t stop in a Tim Horton drive thru afterwards), or C. sell drugs. We talk more about the school system, rules, homework. Later in the afternoon I met with Anne to finalize the walk-in closet, then picked up some groceries, then the kids, then made supper, then put the kids to bed, then cleaned up the kitchen, and now I’m in the studio agonizing (not really) over the state of these Map-Word paintings. I can’t tell when they are done. I have anxiety that they are no good.
-chris
DEAR PM 