2018
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Nov 1, 2018, 11:50 PM
subject There was a time when I thought that i would have made something more of myself by now, now that I am supposedly a fully grown man.
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived another session with our couples therapist. We’ve come to an understanding of sorts: a slow-motion separation. I’ll move into the guest room once my parents head home. I guess this is what happens when people fall out of love with each other, but still love one another.
In other news I worked another longish day at the CCA, and also submitted exhibition proposals to Axeneo7 and Clark. Oh, and we all survived a drizzly Halloween last night, obvs. The kids really enjoyed themselves: Kim and Jean-Michel came over with Thomas and Margot, and they brought food and fed everyone and then we went our trick or treating along with Oona and Zack.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Nov 3, 2018, 11:58 PM subject Now
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived work at the CCA and a dinner party at Alexis and Atom’s place last night. Worked again today at the CCA to qualify for some overtime. All my accounts are overdrawn I have no more money. Time to make some invoices, I keep forgetting to do that. I spent too much time trolling those alt-right and qanon and canada first pages tonight. I’m afraid for the world if the red wave crashes on Tuesday. If things tilt further to the right up here next year I’ll seriously consider moving to the countryside somewhere. I think I’m still in a state of shock that clo and I are separating, even though we’re still living together. Am I in some sort of denial?
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Nov 5, 2018, 10:44 PM subject Now I’m
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived another day at CCA. Yesterday was the first sunny day in over a week and we went for a walk in the park as a family. I bought groceries using the line of credit for the mortgage because I was flat broke, but also found the time to send some invoices and Glen paid right away for the Union Station painting so I paid some bills and have a little cash flow. I need to deal with my debts: either continue to ignore them, get a bank loan to pay them off (including my tax arrears), or declare bankruptcy.
If the US continues to slide into fascism can Canada be far behind? Might really be time to find a plot of land and build a self-sustainable earth ship.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Nov 7, 2018, 10:36 PM subject Now I’m wondering
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived the longest day of work at the CCA yesterday, puttering and cleaning as the show was basically done, and I survived the opening too, with drinks beforehand with the other techs and I ended up cabbing to Nouveau Système with a group of CCA staff whom I didn’t know at all really, except for Mathieu, a former tech who is now heading up the Art Souterrain festival. I tagged along mostly because I was really attracted to a girl in communications whose name I’ve managed to forget and who I probably won’t see again until the next time I’m there, probably in the Spring. And of course I survived the US midterms. Today I went to SRoberts house to paint her dining room while nursing a mild hangover from drinking more than usual. Super smooth evening with the kids tonight, I even had time to have a bath and then watch an episode of Babylon Berlin.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Nov 8, 2018, 9:52 PM subject Now I’m wondering just
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I’m about to watch a live webinar about positive parenting solutions, though evenings and mornings are actually quite good with the kids now. Any tips to increase patience and understanding helps.
My Facebook feed has certainly quieted down since I’ve been banned or muted from most of the right wing sites. Probably better for my state of mind. Speaking of which we have another session with Michel tomorrow morning. This morning on my way to the metro I passed S and immediately had a thought that oh, right, this makes perfect sense, he and Clo are into each other, and he’s probably on his way to our house, as she was working from home, and though we have an open relationship and she’s come forward to say she’s just not into me I think I would rather just know outright than be unaware. It’s even a bit exciting.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Nov 9, 2018, 9:34 PM
subject Now I’m wondering just what
Dear Justin,
i am still alive. I survived another session with our couples therapist, a morning finishing some painting and adjusting the height of ceiling lamps at SRoberts, and then an afternoon and evening assembling modular cubes for Swintak at the new Fourth Space at Concordia. Found out that I have an employee number there, which will make it easier to be paid. Got my $100 cheque from them in the mail today for the talk with Amanda’s class last month, as well as a cheque from SBC and so now my bank account is back in black. In bed now bored with facebook and will watch another episode of Babylon Berlin. Exciting Friday night.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Nov 10, 2018, 9:29 PM
subject Now I’m wondering just what it
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived another Saturday: sleeping in (even though the kids don’t: they are up earlier than the weekdays, eating halloween candy and watching videos), taking Sol to soccer (he still refuses to play, but likes the warmup drills); cleaning up a bit the storage in the basement, swept up the leaves in the yard and added a couple tarps to the back balcony; had a talk with Clo about the state of our couple (now officially platonic, and we will be dating other people); went to the Oboro opening and took the kids to Nouveau Système on Beaubien afterwards (our post-vernissage tradition); and now I’ve showered and am ready for bed, where I will watch another episode of Babylon Berlin, and try to see these next few days and weeks as a positive change, and something that will somehow re-introduce some passion or excitement into life.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Nov 11, 2018, 10:36 PM
subject Now I’m wondering just what it is
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived Remembrance Day, brunch at SRoberts with the family, and working all day with Swintak in the new Fourth Space at Concordia, putting more modular cubes together. I slept poorly, my imagination overactive. I’ve reactivated my Tinder account.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Nov 12, 2018, 9:21 PM
subject Now I’m wondering just what it is I
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived the traffic to Amy’s place, and painting there for the day. Now my back aches and my body is tired.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Nov 13, 2018, 10:03 AM
subject Now I’m wondering just what it is I am
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I’m running errands this morning before heading to Lachine for more painting at Amy’s. Had a rough night of sleep, Rose crashed our bed at 4am and I went to hers. And my back hurts.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Nov 13, 2018, 9:58 PM
subject Now I’m wondering just what it is I am supposed
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived the day painting at Amy’s. Tomorrow is Ottawa and the Sobey Art Award announcement at the NGC, Nicole invited us. We’re taking the kids out of school and driving up, staying with Clo’s parents overnight.
Had a good exchange on Tinder, and am going on my first date on Thursday. I’ll keep you posted. Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Nov 15, 2018, 1:48 AM
subject Now I’m wondering just what it is I am supposed to
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived the trip to Ottawa for the Sobey Art Award ceremony at the NGC. Kapwani Kiwanga won. The drinks were free and we managed to get into the after-party at the Lookout, where karaoke is the name of the game. I did Love Shack, my classic. Clo and I took an Uber back to her folks, who were watching the kids.
Sent with positive vibration from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Nov 15, 2018, 9:18 PM
subject Now I’m wondering just what it is I am supposed to be
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived the drive back to Montreal and dropping the kids off at school and driving to Lachine and painting at Amy’s for 3 hours and driving back home (good thing I know the shortcuts to avoid a lot of the traffic) picking up the kids, making supper and getting them ready for bed before going out as Clo was coming in. She had been to a performance at Oboro and I was going out to a book launch at le porte de tête of the first book by Alexis Rodrigue-Lafleur, L’odeur du gruau. Alexis is one of the full-time techs at the NGC whom I worked with. I just caught the tail end of the launch and came back home, having already changed a tinder date from tonight to tomorrow morning. It’s a hookup, and I’m excited to meet K, who seems quite kinky and really into sex from our texts.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Nov 16, 2018, 11:26 PM
subject Now I’m wondering just what it is I am supposed to be doing
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived the first “snowstorm” of the season, even without winter tires. Met K and it was perfect and then I painted at Amy’s a couple hours and then came back home to meet Sol and Rose’s teachers with Clo, then we were off to Cinemateque Québécois to see The Proposal presented by RIDM and Vox, then we were up north to metro Sauvé for one of those Friday night atelier events, performers trying out ideas, workshopping and though the presentations can be a bit rough it is well intentioned and there is food. Suzie was watching the kids who were still awake when we got home but now I’m tired and sleeping in the front room.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Nov 18, 2018, 11:14 PM
subject Now I’m wondering just what it is I am supposed to be doing with
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived the weekend alone with the kids, including a night out last night with Mo, dropping some acid and hanging out at Casa del Popolo, and a failed attempt to flood the back yard to make a skating rink. I failed to add a tarp and of course the water simply seeped out of the yard before it had a chance to freeze. I will buy a tarp tomorrow. Sol spent the afternoon at his friend Axel’s apartment for his birthday while I tried to clean up a bit our house for the dinner guests tonight: Sarah and Pascal, back from a Quebec City residency, and Angella and Ursula, back from the Sobey awards on Wednesday and about tj drive back out east, and Pip.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Nov 20, 2018, 9:33 AM
subject Now I’m wondering just what it is I am supposed to be doing with my
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. Sorry I didn’t write last night. I was too tired. I survived the day at Amy’s, listened to 5 episodes of the CBC podcast Uncover, about the weird cult/ personal training company called NXIVM. That’s the advantage of house-painting: lots of solo time to listen to podcasts. Now I’m sitting at Ici Pneau waiting to change into winter tires before heading back to Lachine for more painting fun. I’ll be there again tomorrow but will hopefully finish early and maybe visit K for more.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Nov 21, 2018, 11:29 PM
subject Now I’m wondering just what it is I am supposed to be doing with my life.
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. Survived a longer day at Amy’s, then the dhc 10-year anniversary bool launch, then home to flood (again) the back yard. Have been exchanging with a cute Inuk girl on Tinder but we probably won’t meet in person until next week the earliest. The swiping left and right is addictive.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Nov 22, 2018, 10:07 PM subject Sending
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived my last couple hours at Amy’s, and a morning at VOX for the weekly meeting, and driving around, and waking up super-early to flood the rink. I’m getting air gaps under thin layers of ice; how can I avoid this? i flooded it again after the kids were in bed, and will do so again at 6am tomorrow. I think maybe I’m a bit obsessed? Almost as bad as my Tinder addiction. After each swipe there is somebody new. It never ends – although I’m sensing that I’m seeing some of these profiles before.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Nov 23, 2018, 10:09 PM subject Sending unanswered
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived waking early and realizing that the rink has another leak – probably a hole in the plastic somewhere, so Sol and I taped more plastic together and put down a new membrane and then I re-filled it while having a good talk with Clo, who was home sick. We’re still working out the details of our arrangement, and my suspicions were confirmed and it is with S she is pursuing something. Meanwhile I spend more time on Tinder than Facebook but it yields very little interactions. I spent the rest of the day at SBC sanding and varnishing tables and helping with office re-arranging. Tonight Rose is at a sleepover with Oona, and Clo is out on a date, and I’m too tired to do anything and can’t decide on a film or series so will probably Tinder myself to sleep.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Nov 25, 2018, 10:58 PM subject Sending unanswered letters
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived the weekend, which entailed: taking Sol to soccer; taking Sol to Poubelle du ski and renting his skis and boots for the season; heading to the Belgo with Clo and the kids for Pascal’s opening, where we stayed for almost 3 hours – Luneva and Milan were there and we had brought Oona with us and the kids really enjoyed the exhibition as well as playing hide n seek; I took the kids back home on the metro, met Mohanad at home, fed the kids, then Mo and I went out to the Ritz. Today it was raining and I painted the blue wall behind Clo’s bed and spoke with Judith on the phone, who is quite worried about our arrangement and would prefer that we were a swinging couple instead of polyamorous. I went out for groceries and Clo made supper and we started a family movie, one of the Asterix animations but it was sexist and racist and so we switched it up for an episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race. All the seasons are now on Netflix so we’re working our way backwards from season 7.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Nov 27, 2018, 8:30 AM
subject Sending unanswered letters to the
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived day 1 of a 2-day First Aid training course that Vox is having me do. It’s a great refresher. It’s offered at a community centre in St. Michel so I took the metro home for lunch. After kids and supper and bedtime last night I cleaned up my studio a bit while listening to the podcast Where should we begin? By Esther Perel, which are full one-hour couples therapy sessions. I’m thinking constantly about what’s going on between Clo and I but she only wants to check in (talk) every couple days or so. My sudden switch from never communicating to wanting to communicate and share all the time is a bit much for her. We need to take the time to adjust and live with our new arrangement but that’s hard for someone like me who lives so much in the moment, in the now. There may be no tomorrow.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Nov 28, 2018, 11:49 PM
subject Sending unanswered letters to the PM
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived a night out last night with Tanya, and maybe had one too many beer. Woke up a bit dehydrated thjs morning. She suggested I try OK Cupid because the site has way more categories and so I’ve already struck up a couple conversations. Worked at SBC today making shelves and crates but left early to drive Victoria to her parents’ house in Laval. She has kidney stones and is getting a scan on Friday. Picked up the kids and made supper. Rose had 1 crisis tonight and 3 before school. The smallest things set her off. Clo is out tonight on a date with S. Tomorrow I am seeing Yaël to bring her up to speed with all the stuff going on in my life.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Nov 30, 2018, 12:01 AM
subject Sending unanswered letters to the PM probably
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived a couple visits to Vox, my visit to Yaël, and lots of communication on my phone with matches on Tinder and OK Cupid. Unfortunately the 3some I’d planned for tomorrow night with Ka and Mo and I fell through because Ka is sick, so I was scrambling to find another date but it looks like I may just head home after the contract with 4h Space at Concordia. I an so tired, I woke up at 4:30am this morning. Too early.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
DEAR PM 