2018
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Oct 1, 2018, 8:25 PM
subject There was a time when I thought that i would have
Dear justin,
I am still alive, though lately feeling dead inside. I survived the weekend and more or less finished the Union Station painting. Mood sunk to new lows, and I attribute part of the blame to too much Facebook, and in particular the Inane posts to the Canadian Conservatives page. It’s a fringe group, only 7k members, but the constant ignorance and belligerence is getting me down. The Daily is getting me down. The Serial podcast is getting me down – injustice in general is getting me down. Climate change deniers get me down. The super-rich get me down. First-past-the-post gets me down. The fact that the CAQ may form government gets me down. My lack of initiative gets me down. My looks get me down. Now I’m on the metro heading down to the Olympia to meet Clo at the election results party with Quebec Solidaire. I’m hoping against odds and polls for a major QS breakthrough but just know I’ll be disappointed – and further downed – bu the results. My crumbling marriage is getting me down – or is it vice versa ?
Do you maintain your Quebec residency? Do you vote in provincial elections? Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Oct 2, 2018, 8:21 PM
subject There was a time when I thought that i would have made
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived the election – CAQ en majority, what a bummer. But watching results unfold at the Quebec Solidaire event was uplifting and hopeful. They more than tripled their seat count. Then I had crazy political dreams and woke up exhausted. In the morning we had couples therapy, followed by my own psychoanalysis session. Then I had to pay over $400 to have my drivers’ licence re-activated and the Denver boot taken off the car. Fuck there is almost nothing I hate more than the bureaucracy around parking. Then after that is was more Joliette. Now I’m in bed as these sleeping pills take effect.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Oct 3, 2018, 10:30 PM
subject There was a time when I thought that i would have made something
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I am drowsy from the sleeping pills. I took some last night as well. Today I was painting at Sarah hours house. Started to assemble some of the wood I had cut the other day four of the frames for the union station painting. Listen to different podcasts all day, but everything except science and human interest stories are getting me down. Election coverage, Donald Trump, Brett Cavanagh, Françoise let go and his anti-immigration rhetoric, you and your pipelines, It’s too much man.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Oct 5, 2018, 3:41 PM
subject There was a time when I thought that i would have made something more
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I am on pins and needles as I watch senator Susan Collins speak before making her decision on BK. Sounds like she is leaning to support him. The Supreme Court is going to be a much scarier place with him on it. Can we open up the borders to more American refugees? I’m afraid that this decision and the CAQ majority, with their recent talk of firing government employees wearing religious clothing, is bringing back my depression, just as it was starting to lift. Climate change is weighing on me.
I’m working on frames for the Union Station painting, gluing and screwing, filling and sanding.
Arg how long is she going to speak? The suspense is agonizing.
The Facebook Live stream is so choppy it is driving me crazy.
I’ve been listening to the Hurricanes, the Australian group whose album Since I Left You, which was released in 2000, ugh ugh
Ugh ugh Susan Collins is going to vote yes ugh ugh ugh
I have to get over this. This is not my country, not my supreme court, not my concern. Of course there is not going to be evidence 35 years later! Penalty of perjury my ass! Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Oct 10, 2018, 11:27 PM
subject There was a time when I thought that i would have made something more of
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived the long weekend and thanksgiving. We had some of Claudine’s family over to celebrate birthdays and thanksgiving on Monday. I started at the CCA yesterday and the deinstall continued today. I was a bit late this morning as Clo and I had another session of couples therapy. It’s not looking too good.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Oct 11, 2018, 11:24 PM
subject There was a time when I thought that i would have made something more of myself
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived speaking to Amanda’s class at Concordia about my infiltration projects. Finished sanding and varnishing the frames for UStation. Got a few quotes for shipping: over $500 with Fedex, and $80 with Day and Ross. I’ll have to rig them up together somehow, in a way that protects the frames, but isn’t a full-fledged crate, which I have neither the time nor resources to make. I am almost completely broke, maxing out all available credit and overdraft available. I need to stop engaging lunatics on Facebook, but by doing so I am reminded of how differently people can be.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Oct 12, 2018, 11:25 PM
subject There was a time when I thought that i would have made something more of myself by
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived a Friday at the CCA, helping load way top much material into the Got Junk trucks – museums are such wasteful institutions! – and then mostly cladding foamboard forms with cardboard. I was totally lucky my bike wasn’t taken yesterday, as I left it unlocked outside school. I had ridden it to the Rona to get 400-grit sandpaper to smooth the finish on the frames, and totally forgot it outside, unlocked, overnight. It was miraculously still there this morning so I rode to work and back. Fannie and her daughter Laura are here overnight ti go to Laronde with Clo and Rose tomorrow. I’m still spending too much time arguing with deranged, xenophobic right wing nuts on Facebook. I really should stop.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Oct 14, 2018, 10:16 PM
subject There was a time when I thought that i would have made something more of myself by now.
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived the weekend, and SRoberts’ bday get together at Gus’s last night, while Mohanad watched the kids for us. Today I fabricated a type of cradle for the panels going to SJ, sending via Day and Ross. Clo made ratatouille tonight as we were expecting guests but plans fell through so now we have lots of leftovers for lunches. I baked cookies too.
We totally need to change our culture of consumption.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Oct 16, 2018, 10:32 PM
subject There was a time when I thought that i would have made something more of myself by now, now
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. Worked another couple days at the CCA and have been trolling right wing wackjobs on Facebook in almost all my free time. It might be becoming a problem, though I don’t feel depressed, more like a sustained inner rage. Rage at Trump, at corporate capitalism, at my finances, my debts, my settler colonialist heritage, my privileged sex and skin, racists, sexist pigs on Facebook, their ignorance, fear and paranoia, my ignorance, environmental degradation and the lack of political effort to make real change. Rage at this tiny little device in my hands made with precious metals extracted from the Congo causing massacres and social injustice and assembled with slave labour in China and profiting a new class of amoral social misfits in California. I’ll be working my ass off for the rest of my life in a vain effort to keep up with bills and interest payments just to hopefully not leave my kids with too much of mu debts, like in some fucking feudal fiefdom. And in case you haven’t guessed things are not going well between Clo and and I, either. We see Michel our therapist tomorrow for the third visit and at $120 per visit it will probably be out last in awhile. The painting is still downstairs I can’t get organized to send it I don’t have the money to send it not even credit I hate not having means I hate asking for help I hate being a downer.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Oct 18, 2018, 10:54 PM
subject There was a time when I thought that i would have made something more of myself by now, now that
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived couples therapy on Wednesday, so much so that a lot of my inner rage has dissipated. I started at SBC on Wednesday, and continued their today closing up the Woodland School hole in the wall and painting. I also was at VOX today, and as well Day and Ross came to collect the crate. I jumped the gun and transfered $200 from the house line of credit so I could cover the shipping costs, having maxed out all my other accounts, but what should come in the mail today but an extra $150 from PEI, a per diem from the Art in Open. So sometimes my magical thinking that money just appears when I need it actually works.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Oct 20, 2018, 12:04 AM
subject There was a time when I thought that i would have made something more of myself by now, now that I am
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived the day at SBC, then my parents arrived and I made supper and we all hung out at home and it was nice. I was temporarily blocked from responding to the Canadian Conservatives facebook page and the moderator wants me to convince him why he should let me back. Apparently lots of people are angry and alarmed that a “spy” is in their midst. Maybe it is for the best if I leave those groups alone. Reading about their racist and anti-environmental views is hard to take.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Oct 24, 2018, 9:13 PM
subject There was a time when I thought that i would have made something more of myself by now, now that I am supposedly
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. Sorry for not writing lately. So much is going on! I survived the arrival of my parents on Friday, the big studio birthday bash for Sarah on Saturday (which involved amazing DJ sets), I threw up for a bit probably from the mushrooms or the mdma, but it was one of our best parties yet. Clo and I came home after 1pm in Sunday and slept for the afternoon. My folks and the kids went to see Les Canadiennes play on Saturday and my mom and Rose went again on Sunday. Rose is into it, maybe she’ll take up hockey. I’ve been back to SBC this week, the gallery is mostly ready, the vinyl should be ready for tomorrow so that will be the trickiest. I’ve been booted off the Canadian Conservatives Facebook page again but there are lots of right-wing sites that still tolerate my inane posts. I wonder, do you and Maxime Bernier have a backroom deal to ensure the right split the vote? A lot of conservatives are worried about a vote split. I’m trying to convince them to work together and not run candidates against each other, but that would take a level of strategic planning beyond any party.
Off to bed with a new New Yorker.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Oct 26, 2018, 11:14 PM
subject There was a time when I thought that i would have made something more of myself by now, now that I am supposedly a fully
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived another day at SBC, lunch with Victoria, working at SBC right up to Ursula’s talk, then cycling to Usine C (with a brief stop on the way for a Beyond Meat burger) to meet Pascal and Sarah to watch 45 minutes of the recent theatrical insanity from Geneviève et Matthieu, then the cycle home. Oona is sleeping over and the kids were still awake when I got home. I’m so tired I don’t know if I can even check out Facebook let alone read anything.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Oct 29, 2018, 12:25 AM
subject There was a time when I thought that i would have made something more of myself by now, now that I am supposedly a fully grown
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. I survived the weekend. I didn’t end up going to the Belleville halloween party, though I did walk down in the rain to say hi. Took my mom and Rose to hear Ursula’s performance but it started late and they were both cold so we didn’t stay long. Today we carved pumpkins and I cooked and tried to prepare a bit for the week. Clo arrived home from Vancouver and we’ve started watching Babylon Berlin again.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
DEAR PM 