from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca

date Apr 1, 2019, 9:54 AM

subject It is the end of an era, It’s true.

Dear Justin,

I am still alive. I Survived the week of

kitty basically moving in and nesting with us, at least until Saturday night when we crashed at her place after the Cirque de boudoir Unicorn fetish ball. Mohanad had come over for the day to work on the bathroom renos and stayed overnight to watch the kids. The fetish ball was wild and sexy. We came back home early Sunday morning on an hour’s sleep and did kid and home stuff, mostly cooking and laying about watching Rupaul. Family movie was

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind. Off to work at CCA today. Rose asked Kitty to stay at her place this week so we could have some family time together this week. I think this will help Clo feel more secure too. Not sure exactly how it makes me feel; maybe I’ll get my taxes done, finally.

Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.

from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca

date Apr 2, 2019, 4:47 PM

subject The

Dear Justin,

I am still alive. I survived the day at Vox meeting the next artist, JP Kelly, and going over tech stuff with him. Had an unexpected dim sum with Kitty, who had hooked up with an OK Cupid date last night which sends my compersion levels through the roof and I find her all the more sexy and desirable. She’s feeling better after my faux-pas of trying to schedule too much activities, attempting to pile on a bareaoke session wit Aiana after our planned orgy this weekend. One thing per night is plenty, I must remind myself.

Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.

from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca

date Apr 4, 2019, 9:31 AM

subject FUREY: Trudeau accepts none of the Lavscam blame, piles it all on JWR

Dear Justin,

I am still alive. I am surviving. Currently waiting for the metro to start up again. The orange line currently shut down because of smoke. Feeling a bit blah this morning, and I think it might be due to the THC/CBC oil I took last night. It only seemed to affect my head after talking with Kitty on the phone, planning and strategizing for the orgy on Saturday and kink night at the club on Friday. Maybe it is a slight post-mdma low, though it would be a bit late, since saturday was the last time and I only took one, which was the perfect amount. I’m tired, my mind was racing, thinking about the election in the fall, how unprepared I am. Thinking about this project, about SNC Lavelin, about corruption, capitalism and climate change, about PR. Missing Clo. Damn the metro shutdown is prolonged for 10 more minutes. I’m using news headlines from my Facebook feed for subject headings starting today, letting those algorithms partially decide for me. St least financially I van breathe a bit now, a cheque arrived from the NB Art Bank paying me royalties for a painting that is on tour through some NB high schools since the fall. I paid some parking tickets but some are so overdue I think I need to go to the courthouse and pay ridiculous charges and fees on top of the stupid fine. Parking tickets really make me mad. Oh, I saw James and Iliana yesterday at Vox, they are producing a work by JP Kelly, the next exhibiting artist there. Anyway, in my addled mind last night I was experiencing the usual paranoia: am I a good person? Is this art project worthy? Can I run a campaign based on anti-capitalist, polyamorous and environmental principles? Damn the trains still just sitting here, do I ethically charge the CCA for my wasted time here? Why should I absorb this cost? The STM certainly take no responsibility. I should have taken the blue line back to the 55. It’s started up again. I’m still tired. I’m still sex-obsessed. I should find a restaurant to have lunch with Aiana at today. I’m thinking a lot about Judy Wilson-Raybould, and sunny ways, and why 2019 seems so much darker than 2015, even though my depression started then and ended (?) in 2018.

Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.

from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca

date Apr 5, 2019, 9:54 PM

subject Canada’s failure to fight climate change ‘disturbing,’ environment watchdog says

Dear Justin,

I am still alive. I am surviving Kitty’s emotional rollercoaster. She was on a date yesterday all day and after work MC texted me and I invited her over after the kids were asleep and when I told Kitty she kinda freaked out, mostly because she didn’t know that I had the OK from Clo to have other dates to the house in a more discrete manner. It made her insecure of her status with me and she wants to downgrade from co-primary, and also cancelled our kink night at the club tonight AND the orgy tomorrow night. Meanwhile I took the day off to go to a clinic so I can get on a list to make an appointment to see a psychiatrist. Also I went to Ciot and picked tile for the bathroom floor. Also went to Dean’s artist talk at Concordia, then picked up Rose from Femke’s, rode the bus home, met Romy and Sol at home, ate leftovers with Romy and now on the metro to meet Kitty in the Village for drinks and dancing and more discussion about the state of us.

Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.

from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca

date Apr 7, 2019, 10:19 PM

subject While Nestlé extracts millions of litres from their land, residents have no drinking water

Dear Justin,

I am still alive. I survived the weekend, making up with Kitty, stripping down to my socks for Bareoke at Café Cléopatra on Saturday night with Kitty and Triple-A as my backup singers to my classic Love Shack. They didn’t bare all and messed up a bunch of their lines to boot – we had no time to practice. Mo installed most of of the tile on the bathroom floor but we haven’t even framed the shower stall yet so highly unlikely to be finished by the time Clo returns next week. Today Rose and I had a father-daughter day that started by going to the demonstration against the stupid loi 21, we went down with Sarah and Pascal, then did a tiny bit of shopping as Rose is looking for a kawaii onesie hooded pyjama, which we didn’t find though she did pick out a few nice shirts for me at Winners. What I should be focusing on is new underwear, which I hope to have for the next bareaoke.

—

Chris Lloyd

° 514 295-3048

° Twitter : @dearpm

° Instagram : dearpm2001

° Tumblr : dearpm.tumblr.com

° Blogger : dearpm.blogspot.ca

° LinkdIn : Chris Lloyd

from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca

date Apr 9, 2019, 5:50 AM

subject Manifestation locale contre la gentrification dans le Sud-Ouest

Hi Justin,

I am still alive. I survived a breakup with Kitty. It started early yesterday morning and ended around 11pm. She started spiralling when she thought I hadn’t told her about a lunch date with T – long story short about her, we met on OKC, but had never met met until yesterday at lunch, the date itself had been changed twice and the reason it was changed the second time was that she has to go to Toronto this week to have a 5-day embryo implanted in her uterine wall as she is going to be a surrogate for a gay couple. Anyway in all my callous and insensitive communications with Kitty from throughout the day, as I tried to minimize her feelings and downplay the situation from atop scaffolding at the CCA, the fact that I tuned out completely to actually go on the date with T was the final straw, or last nail in our relationship coffin. So now the question remains: am I going to spiral, like I did after Claire dumped me, or continue to grow? She says I wasn’t willing to put in the hard work it would take to be a primary with her, which is true. I wasn’t ready. I don’t want or need another primary, I want to continue to improve myself for Claudine. The rest – all the dating, is for distraction, and for sex.

—

Chris Lloyd

° 514 295-3048

° Twitter : @dearpm

° Instagram : dearpm2001

° Tumblr : dearpm.tumblr.com

° Blogger : dearpm.blogspot.ca

° LinkdIn : Chris Lloyd

from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca

date Apr 11, 2019, 10:56 PM

subject First black hole photo confirms Einstein’s theory of relativity

Dear Justin,

I am still alive. Kitty and I are back together.

Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.

from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca

date Apr 12, 2019, 4:35 PM

subject The ‘Star Wars Episode IX’ trailer is here at last

Dear Justin,

I am still alive. I am surviving. Wednesday Kitty contacted me and wanted to see me so I left the CCA early and she came over and made supper with me and basically we got back together. Last night she came over again and we watched Queer Eye and sprayed anti-viral down our throats, as I am getting sick. This morning she was going into another spiral – speaking of which, remember NiN and the Downward Spiral? I’ve been listening to old ‘90s stuff like that and Portishead and Rage Against the Machine, because why not? So I cancelled my date with Triple-A tonight. I’m exhausted and feeling sick and don’t want to test Kitty nor have a bad date. I really should start the deel clean of the apartment, as Clo arrives on Sunday.

Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.

from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca

date Apr 14, 2019, 11:04 PM

subject Le Vietnam interdit le glyphosate, au grand dam des Etats-Unis

Dear Justin,

I am still alive. I survived the final sprint of bathroom renos and apartment cleanup before Clo arrived back from Mexico. RRR and Ole Greg came by for a visit last night, hanging out with Mo and I and talking about the glory days of Macara Street and Dresden Row and of course the future. The kids were both playing Minecraft until late, a new development in our family, a day old at best. Mohanad moved a bunch of the plumbing and today I closed up most of the walls before embarking on a cleaning frenzy. I had a moment while changing the sheets on Clo’s bed where I felt the need to call Kitty to voice my emotions at feeling rejected from that bed, or at least the sexual side of it, though now after Drag Race and putting the kids to bed I am actually in that bed for the night, trying to keep my emotions in check.

Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.

from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca

date Apr 16, 2019, 8:57 AM

subject Syrian family in Calgary mourning loss of 9-year-old daughter who died by suicide

Dear Justin,

I am still alive. I survived another Monday, at 4th space. First I took the car to the garage to change the tires. It was a slow day, just Doug and I, and Kitty invited me to lunch, and I finished work early and so visited her for a torrid end to the afternoon. I felt it helped balance my feelings as S was visiting Clo at home today and having probably a similar situation, reconnecting after more than 3 weeks. Clo bought us each new silver rings as a gift from Mexico, which I found very touching. She had made our engagement rings, had bought our wedding bands and now found these new rings to symbolize the new transition. I wonder, when will my desire for her fade?

Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.

from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca

date Apr 17, 2019, 8:56 PM

subject Jason Kenney’s United Conservative Party wins majority government

Dear Justin,

I am still alive. I survived a morning at the CCA and an afternoon at 4th Space, after spending the night at Kitty’s. I’m heading there again tonight after shaving and showering and of course after claudine gets home from a night out.

You know what’s weird? The Internet going crazy about the Notre Dame fire when our whole fucking planet is pretty much burning to the ground all around us.

I blame the tyranny of the everyday.

Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.

from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca

date Apr 20, 2019, 5:32 PM

subject Noam Chomsky: The Green New Deal Is Exactly the Right Idea

Dear Justin,

I am still alive. I survived the train ride to Ottawa with Kitty yesterday, after a half day of running errands. Oh, and getting a bunch of tattoos on Thursday, the Patterson Ewan-inspired clouds formation, Sol’s giraffe and 2 lightning bolts. Karen Nine Fingers is an amazing artist. My right arm is really coming together, the narrative is starting to make sense. It cost $260 which really was all my money for the week so I am relying on Kitty for meals while in Ottawa. She’s studying now for her course tomorrow. We had tentative plans to visit Obsession last night (a swingers club) but I had forgotten to bring a collared shirt and because it was Good Friday absolutely everything was closed. We could have gone anyway – the dress code more a suggestion – but the cover would have been $50. Too much to pay just to watch some kinky couples having sex or to have sex in front of other kinky couples. We were tired, too, and napped after meeting Nicole for supper at Datsun, then woke up and watched that documentary about the Russian doping. Today we met Tanya at the Pure Kitchen and caught up before Kitty and I spent the afternoon at the National Gallery, still one of my favourite places. Still not sure what our plans are tonight.

Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.

from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca

date Apr 22, 2019, 12:13 AM

subject Exxon says climate lawsuits violate its right to free speech. Seriously.

Dear Justin,

I am still alive. I survived the day reading Homo Deus at the Ottawa Art Gallery before catching the train back to Montreal with Kitty. She had a date with Sam so I’m back at home. S has moved a bunch of his things here and is now living here.

Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.

from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca

date Apr 23, 2019, 2:21 PM

subject When your house is on fire you don’t sit down and talk about how nice you can rebuild it once you put out the fire.

Dear Justin,

I am still alive. I am surviving a dip from hypomania to mild anxiety.

The presence of S is affecting me mildly, it is more more the lack of

attention from Clo that stings, the rejection, even though I know it

is not rejection, she is fully occupied with the move and S’s

emotions. It’s a big move, everyone is affected and with Kitty leaving

tomorrow morning – – – I’m hoping to throw myself into work, extra

work, and even more extra work to pass the hours and make more money

and try to climb from this financial hole a bit more. How can I

possibly be this broke? Oh right, constantly living beyond my means (I

have such a lavish lifestyle don’t you know). Fuck capitalism.

Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.

from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca

date Apr 24, 2019, 11:16 PM

subject Fuck fuck fuck

Dear Justin,

I am still alive.

Fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck

Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.

from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca

date Apr 25, 2019, 11:03 PM

subject Shit shit shit

Dear Justin,

I am still alive. Shit shit shit Shit shit shit Shit shit shit Shit shit shit Shit shit shit Shit shit shit Shit shit shit Shit shit shit Shit shit shit Shit shit shit Shit shit shit Shit shit shit Shit shit shit Shit shit shit Shit shit shit

Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.

from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca

date Apr 27, 2019, 7:53 AM

subject Damn damn damn

Dear Justin,

I am still alive. Damn damn damn Damn damn damn Damn damn damn Damn damn damn Damn damn damn Damn damn damn Damn damn damn Damn damn damn

Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.

from chris lloyd
to pm@pm.gc.ca

date Apr 27, 2019, 8:59 AM

subject Crap crap crap

Dear Justin,

I am still alive. Sorry for the recent spat of exceptionally weird emails; I was in a strange mindset. Clo and I met with Michel Thursday morning which was really nice, and provided some clarity. We had breakfast at le Fameuse afterwards. Then it was work at Vox, then yesterday I picked up more tiles from Ciot, had coffee with Emily K, then met James and Iliana at Super Studio to prep for the McGill install. Helped James with some of his home reno projects before picking the kids up from school and making supper. We hosted the AC crew last night to celebrate Élie’s birthday, they enjoyed hearing about our new poly life and family adjustments. I went out later with MC, we were going to go dancing but just stayed in. I fell asleep on her couch after sharing a bottle of wine. Woke up at 5:30 and came home so I was in bed when the kids woke up. Now I’m waiting for the bus to McGill.

Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.