2020
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Apr 2, 2020, 8:53 AM subject Forty-nine
Dear Justin,
I am still not sick or too tired. Had a solo night with Rose and Jess last night and with Sol and Jess the night before. Am managing to get a little bit of work done with VOX but we’ve decided that with the difficulty of working from home combined with the limited workload that I will stop after this week and apply for the $2000/month relief package. It is a relief, too, and now I can spend more time with the kids and on my own projects. It really will be like a Coronavirus Home Residency! It sure beats pouring through the fine print and parsing specs on model after model of projector.
—
- ° Chris Lloyd
- ° 514 295-3048
- ° chris lloyd projects
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Apr 7, 2020, 10:36 PM subject Fifty-one
Dear Justin,
We’re still alive, surviving and still not sick or infected, as far as we can tell. We’ve been playing a heck of a lot of Stardew Valley; Sol and Rose even have a shared farm and play with each other simultaneously while he is with me and she with my Ex. I borrowed my Ex’s car today and took Rose way the heck out East to Mercier to get her a new used bike. I have Sol tonight, we cycled back from the Ex’s to my place he is doing really well on the bigger bike and really likes it. Jess stayed over with me last night and skipped work today she was getting a migraine. I spent the weekend at her place, it was very relaxing and also wears me out; am I getting too old for so much sex? Please say it ain’t so. The ice cream maker ball arrived today and Sol and I made a vegan chocolate from coconut cream but I don’t think he liked it too much; the coconut cream froze chunky, I probably should have mixed it and the sugar and cocoa before putting it in the ball. I think it tastes great, I think Jess will too. We’re going to look at a 3-bedroom 3rd floor apartment on Friday morning I wonder if I should check with my bank to see if I can even get a mortgage? I applied for CERB over the phone yesterday and despite the lines being busy all morning I eventually got through and it is a very easy and painless application process, so bravo for that. You know, if there was a guaranteed income this sort of emergency benefit wouldn’t be necessary. Might be something to think about for the future.
—
- ° Chris Lloyd
- ° 514 295-3048
- ° chris lloyd projects
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Apr 8, 2020, 9:35 PM subject FIFTY-TWO
Dear Justin,
STILL ALIVE sorry for the all-caps but sometimes it just needs to be yelled. Ça va bien aller, it’s all good. I hear we should peak on or around April 18, so that’s good news? I spoke to Judith today she gives you props, a bit begrudgingly, about how Canada (not just you of course, but you are the leader at the moment) is handling the crisis. I was wondering, once we flatten the curve and all, if there is no vaccine then what will stop the infection or virus from continuing to spread? Will it be that so many people catch it that they have a resistance to it afterwards, but can they still transmit it? I don’t know, I guess science. Jess had migraines again today, didn’t work, I hung with Sol and then we biked up to my Ex,s, picked up a new bike helmet for him at Can Tire, met Rose and Oona in Parc Jarry, biked back home with Rose, there was lots of Stardew Valley and then we watched the RuPaul drag race Season 11 reunion episode before bed. Now I’m about to start Fight Club, because it was in my dreams the past couple nights, so feel like I need to get it out of my system somehow. Oh, and made ice cream with Rose this afternoon, raspberry flavour and we mixed it better and it turned out really good.
—
- ° Chris Lloyd
- ° 514 295-3048
- ° chris lloyd projects
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Apr 10, 2020, 10:28 PM subject Fifty-three
Dear Justin,
Can I speak moistly with you for a moment?
I must thank-you for unintentionally throwing some heavy-hitting LOL directly at the Coronavirus, giving us all some much-needed humour in our self-isolation. Mental illness will be the next big socially debilitating issue when life gets “back to normal”, so at least we will always have this.
Rose and I cycled to my Ex’s today (in the snow WTF!?!) and back to my place with Sol; they had been playing jointly on a Stardew Valley farm, and continued playing most of the day, though individually. They are both quite obsessed with it; then again, I am too, to a smaller degree.
Jess is continuing to enjoy her solitude, working on a banner, her writing and reading. We’ll see each other maybe Monday or Tuesday.
Enjoy your Easter Weekend, don’t speak moistly on anyone, and thanks again for the chuckles.
—
- ° Chris Lloyd
- ° 514 295-3048
- ° chris lloyd projects
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Apr 12, 2020, 9:21 PM subject Fifty-four
Dear Justin,
OMG that auto-tuned song of Speaking Moistly is actually catchy and me and the kids all have it lodged inside our heads – catchier than Catchy Song from Lego Movie 2. Bravo!
Happy Easter. We had a small chocolate egg hunt in my apartment and then finished watching Titanic – it holds up after all these years, it’s actually quite good. A well-deserved Oscar win from 1997.
The kids and I went for a long bike ride to visit Jess at her apartment, and then a walk around a nearby park where the kids enjoyed throwing themselves and rolling down hills. We also visited Jess briefly at her apartment so they could meet her cats. When we came back home Sol was such a loud grump that he lost his Stardew Valley privileges for the rest of the night. We watched an episode of Dragula instead and then he helped me bake banana muffins.
Now I’m gonna play me some Stardew Valley before bed.
—
- ° Chris Lloyd
- ° 514 295-3048
- ° chris lloyd projects
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Apr 15, 2020, 12:06 AM subject Fifty-five
Dear Justin,
I am still alive.
Coronavirus home residency day… How long has it been? Sex, started valley, working my way through untrue by Wednesday Martin, making and eating food, bike rides, groceries, star Duvali, knitting, making mobiles, living room karaoke… no karaoke with Jess alone, not even over zoom Dash the Tuesday night has been moved to Thursday.
Stardew…*Do … The Dictaphone really does not like to understand star do Valley.
I am wondering, perhaps now is a good time to mail back my wedding band and the new Mexico rain tonight X? to my ex? What do you think?
Dictated, not corrected
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Apr 16, 2020, 9:32 AM subject Fifty-six
Dear Justin,
I am still alive, and mostly just really happy with that. Doing crafts and little home decorating projects, mostly. Jess has been hanging out the past couple nights, her migraine is subsiding but she is still quite sensitive to light, and the world in general. The collective unease and uncertainty we are all feeling has contributed greatly to her anxiety. For me, I’m mostly happy, except when I think of my Ex. Reading Untrue has helped me understand her motivations, but it doesn’t excuse her lack of empathy and her deceptions. I think what really bothers me the most is she was unwilling to try to repair what we had, but ultimately that was for the best. I wouldn’t be here now, in my fancy apartment, living my life on my terms, home-schooling my kids through the magic and technology of farming video games.
—
- ° Chris Lloyd
- ° 514 295-3048
- ° chris lloyd projects
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Apr 16, 2020, 11:48 PM subject Fifty-seven
Dear Justin,
I am still alive, still enjoying the Corona Home Residency. Received my CERB cheques the other day and deposited them today, and switched some money to a savings account if and when the CRA reclaims some of it; I think close to $1000 was paid to me for a time when I was still technically working for VOX, but from home. Hardly working, anyway. I enjoy not working, or at least working on things like my knitting.
Sol and I played A LOT of Stardew Valley today. He did help me install our Cushy bidet, which arrived in the mail today. Also some embroidery thread arrived as well, so Jessica showed him how to do that. Still waiting on the cross stitch fabric; Michael’s sent my order in 3 different ridiculously oversized boxes.
—
- ° Chris Lloyd
- ° 514 295-3048
- ° chris lloyd projects
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Apr 18, 2020, 1:04 PM subject Fifty-eight
Dear Justin,
When was the last time I wrote to you? How long has it been since I wrote to you? I haven’t written in 2 days? Not at all?
I’m writing now.
Yesterday was a solo day with Sol and he was adorable. His teacher held a Zoom class, after initial shyness Sol perked right up and participated, and I think it set the tone for the rest of the day. The cross stitch material arrived, he finished an embroidery project and tucked right into cross stitch. We played some Stardew Valley but not much at all. Finished watching the series Over the Garden Wall (brilliant) then cycled to his mom’s. Rose was sad and misses me and had a little cry while I was there, outside on the back deck.
I went through my photos again this morning and deleted the final few of my Ex that slipped by me during the previous cull. I am trying to get over it all, trying to forgive and forget, or at the very least, forget.
I never should have read those messages. They haunt me still. Worse, they haunt my new relationship with Jessica. Like they become prescriptive or competitive somehow. I have to try harder to rid myself of their presence.
I packaged up the rings with the Xmas card she sent me, and will mail them today when I go to the pharmacy to refill my prescription.
I enjoy the time alone to listen to podcasts. Are we flattening the curve yet?
—
- ° Chris Lloyd
- ° 514 295-3048
- ° chris lloyd projects
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Apr 20, 2020, 8:56 AM subject Fifty-nine
Dear Justin,
Wow, I heard about the terrible shooting in NS last night after a text from my Ex. What a horrific tragedy. WTF is so wrong with people that they can be even capable of shit like this?
I was going to go on and on describing my shut-in weekend at Jess’s, but at times like this it just feels wrong and pointless.
There really seems to be no more normal to go to, whether back nor forth.
—
- ° Chris Lloyd
- ° 514 295-3048
- ° chris lloyd projects
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Apr 21, 2020, 11:57 PM subject Sixty
Dear Justin,
I had a really good session with Yaël yesterday, helpful and necessary as I had been feeling anxious after the past few interactions with my Ex, first with her notifying me of the NS tragedy and then trying to change the custody schedule for this week. I realize I am not being a good parent if I am always letting her change schedules, it inconveniences not just me but the kids, even Jess. So in the end I had Rose last night as planned, we watched Over the Garden Wall and today did all sorts of cross stitch and embroidery and a bit of SDV, and then made ice cream, and we ended the night by watching Carrie, the 1976 version. Maybe that last bit wasn’t so age-appropriate? Jess went home today, she is still suffering from a migraine and needs some alone, adult time.
—
- ° Chris Lloyd
- ° 514 295-3048
- ° chris lloyd projects
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Apr 22, 2020, 10:49 PM subject Sixty-one
Dear Justin,
More of the same, although today I didn’t even step outside. It was -4 when I woke up! With bits of snow swept into the streets. My Ex dropped Sol off and picked up Rose. We had a good relaxing day, all the usual elements: SDV (Rose has 10 hearts with Maru now, they are considered girlfriends and the next step is marriage, which Rose is very excited about); sewing, cross stitch, and baking muffins. And listening to podcasts. And keeping the plants alive.
—
- ° Chris Lloyd
- ° 514 295-3048
- ° chris lloyd projects
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Apr 24, 2020, 11:13 PM subject Sixty-two
Dear justin, I am sore, but still alive. I have been playing soccer with soul The past couple days and I must be out of shape because my legs are really sore, and all we are doing is kicking all back-and-forth, we’re trying to score on him as he practises his goalie. Today we played in Jerry Park because the Astroturf soccer pitch near our house was fenced in between yesterday and
Today. We met Rose there a bit earlier Friday drop off pretty good afternoon. We watched Lego movie last night and the second part tonight. I am watching documentaries on black holes galaxies stand universe trying to synthesis into something that makes sense for the kids.
I bought newspapers today for the first time in forever, just to try to get. A sense of what is going on in the world; not sure much else my understanding.
Dictated, not corrected
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Apr 26, 2020, 8:30 AM subject Sixty-three
Dear Justin,
Had another fun day with the kids: SDV and cross stitch and painting in the morning, between breakfast and lunch, then a long bike ride to Jarry Park, some soccer (Rose is NOT into soccer), then back home, kids go stir-crazy in absence of screens, we go for a walk to meet Jessica and get a few groceries. Jessica came over as we were scheduled to play a jeopardy-style game show with her friends online but they had confused who was hosting so we played other trivia and drawing games – Rose even took part, and won a challenge after having a freakout with Sol in their room over video game sharing on my phone. The fun never ends. Until death, I suppose that is when the fun ends.
—
- ° Chris Lloyd
- ° 514 295-3048
- ° chris lloyd projects
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Apr 28, 2020, 11:03 AM subject Sixty-four
Dear Justin,
Had a mostly good day yesterday that was punctuated by me blowing up at Sol, for which I feel terrible about. I don’t think I caused any permanent damage but that will be for his therapist to determine in twenty years. He has been constantly annoying, always calling himself stupid and berating himself, his sister, me, inanimate objects, anything that displeases him. He was having a freakout over a knot in his cross stitch and was banging doors and ultimately exploded a slime ball which spewed greasy slime pellets all over the living room, and then I snapped. Dragged him to his room, splashed him with water then dragged him back to the living room and smeared his face in the slime. Then we argued about whether he would even be allowed back in my house if he couldn’t obey my rules – of which there are very few, btw. Anyway we went to the park, they climbed that tall birch tree again, played some soccer, biked to Jarry Park, he and Rose chased and wrestled like young pups, it all seemed good by the time we dropped him off with my Ex. So only time will tell if I caused any PTSD.
Rose and I have started watching CSI: New York. She is totally into crime dramas. And lots of SDV. Me too.
—
- ° Chris Lloyd
- ° 514 295-3048
- ° chris lloyd projects
DEAR PM 