2022
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Sep 1, 2022, 9:01 AM subject 115 – — – 0109
Dear Justin,
We’re in full school / work week routines. Rose is quite autonome, leaves by herself and comes home when she likes, after finishing homework. I cycle with Sol (if it’s not raining) to and from school. Ordered an OPUS card for Rose. We received a bill of $400 for her books! Her mom paid half, but I’ll have to wait until next week – payday – to pay my share, as I am close to the wire on the first of the month, with all the bills coming due at once – phone, electricity, insurance, etc. and then food and clothes for the kids.Saw my Ex unexpectedly while picking Sol up and it always affects me, infects me and my dreams. When will it end? It may never end.
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- ° Chris Lloyd
- ° 514 295-3048
- ° chris lloyd projects
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Sep 2, 2022, 12:37 PM subject 116 – — – 0209
Dear Justin,
The kids are off to their mom’s today after school. The end of the week with them always leaves a knot in my stomach, and I miss them already. Doesn’t help seeing my Ex while dropping off suitcases. Even worse cycling past S unexpectedly this morning, also after having unexpected interaction with his earlier this week, he was at their mom’s house when I was picking up Sol. I wonder if they are getting complaisant around me? I suppose I should reiterate to her that I’d prefer not to have to see him. But does that keep me attached to anger and the past? So far as I know A-M still doesn’t have contact with him. Of course one way of dealing with it is by throwing myself into work, and trying not to think of it. Finish the exhibition install, work on some paintings at the studio, plan for my trip to Yellowknife. Book a hotel. Figure out camera and tripod. Downsize and pack my goalie gear. I’ll get the gear next weekend probably when I get the kids again. Clean the house. Wonder about my purpose in life, and whether I am fulfilling it.
—
- ° Chris Lloyd
- ° 514 295-3048
- ° chris lloyd projects
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Sep 4, 2022, 10:18 AM subject 116 – — – 0409
Uh-oh. I got into the THC again last night. I blame Mo (not really – it is my own lack of impulse control). He called me looking for some molly and I thought the delivery service carried it – but I was wrong. Since I’d gotten some cash I decided to try some chocolate and also some CBD oil for my back. I am getting much more cautious about quantities, and figure that 5mg THC is my limit. I might have exceeded it last night. I was going to watch a movie – I recently re-activated my subscription to Mubi – but couldn’t decide, and just kept adding films to a watchlist. Went to bed early, as I have been all week, and Jess called at 1am to show me the Aurora – it was so clear even by iPhone and Messenger video! I’ve got to secure a decent camera and lighting for the Everyday Goalie shoot. The lights are crazy beautiful but I was hoping we would have one of our sexting video sessions – but she was up on the roof of the lodge. I’ll be there in a week, almost hard to believe. I was able to get back to sleep OK, and even slept until just past 6, but after that had all sorts of weird dreams and invasive paranoid thoughts: feeling guilty about my lax activism, my lack of political engagement, guilt about not doing enough, and not feeling prepared for my eventual death, and then the paranoia about this project, am I being surveilled? Is writing to you affecting other aspects of my life, my role in society? In working so much, even for art, am I just playing into the capitalist system? Like Luke says in Episode 4, he can’t go on adventures and help the Rebellion because he has work to do – do I use work as an excuse? Should I perhaps end this project, maybe on my 50th birthday? Has it served its purpose (and more – or less?) Has it been anything more than a diary? An ultimately pointless exercise in posterity? The: what about sending the letters into the future? To my kids, to their email addresses but dated for years and years from now? Is that cruel or loving? My Dad finally set up his own Facebook account and sent me a friend request. I feel extreme guilt about not being closer with him. If I end the project at 50, do I pull a Tehching Hsieh move? Has all my art been copying someone else, someone more creative? Why do I do everything half-ass? I’m working on a display table at VOX and haven’t thought the construction all the way through and am taking pains to make it perfect, yet it will probably end up deeply flawed. I need to get my teeth and gums checked, I need to see an optometrist, probably an audiologist, I stopped stretching or doing yoga even though I know I should, I really should, I really should stop complaining, who needs to hear this garbage? Am I a good role model for my kids – am I teaching them the right skills to not only navigate the world but to do the right things, to stand up to power?
—
- ° Chris Lloyd
- ° 514 295-3048
- ° chris lloyd projects
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Sep 7, 2022, 10:47 PM subject 117 – — 0509
Dear Justin,
I should really not start eating a chocolate bar after 10pm. I had wicked bad insomnia the other night, stayed up going down rabbit holes about the evolution of thinking around the speed of light, as a unit of measurement to determine the distances between stars and galaxies, and just really how small our own solar system is, even if it is so big to us we can never really fathom it, can never experience more than our own earth-bound imagining of it. Unless you are Elon Musk and you can just go to space whenever, or launch your own satellites to do whatever.
OK, so that was a rabbit hole about satellites. Do you know how many satellites are in orbit? And did you know that the only method for disposing of a finished satellite is to have it re-enter the atmosphere and disintegrate? What an altogether human solution.
Oh hear’s a copy of the latest Lead Now letter I sent off:
Dear OSFI:
Please accept my input on your draft Guideline B-15 on Climate Risk Management.
The draft is far too weak and will not address the Canadian financial industry’s funding of the climate crisis. It only asks for vague climate plans. This will not address the hundreds of billions that Canada’s banks are pouring into fossil fuels, which will worsen the climate crisis and the risk the banking industry faces by pouring billions of dollars into a sunsetting industry and creating stranded assets.
I ask that OSFI use the tools at its disposal and set real limits on fossil fuel financing and introduce consequences for institutions that violate regulations – that is the only credible way to reduce climate risk.
Yours sincerely,
christopher lloyd H2S 2C5
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- ° Chris Lloyd
- ° 514 295-3048
- ° chris lloyd projects
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Sep 9, 2022, 12:41 PM subject 118 – — – 0909
Dear Justin,
The Queen is dead. A great time to abolish the monarchy.
The exhibition is done, more or less, the gallery is open to visitors and the vernissage is tonight. I’m planning to swing by the RBC on Laurier for a planning meeting with other folks from Decolonial Solidarity. Then home to get the car, then to get the kids and my hockey gear.
I woke up at 4am with crazy invasive racing thoughts. I think the CBD oil I am taking at night to help with my back pain is contributing to this insomnia and paranoia. I think I’ll try melatonin again.
Here’s a copy of the latest Leadnow letter I’ve already sent you, same old same old.
I am writing to you as someone who is concerned for my communities’ and the planet’s future. After reading the discussion paper on the proposed oil and gas emissions cap, I am cautiously hopeful that your government is ready to take meaningful action to tackle climate change.
If emissions aren’t reduced significantly by 2030, we will miss our window to limit global warming to 1.5 degrees. We need the emissions cap policy to be ambitious — and limit emissions from oil and gas in line with science — if Canada is to do its fair share globally and meet our domestic and international climate targets.
At a minimum, the oil and gas emissions cap must:
1. Reduce emissions immediately: the oil and gas industry must reduce emissions significantly by 2025 and reduce its emissions by 60% by 2030.
2. Ensure tools of enforceability and accountability are implemented immediately with the cap. 3. Include all emissions from the production and use of oil and gas.
4. Do not cave to the oil and gas lobbying efforts. The industry is beholden to shareholders and profit margins. As the government, your responsibility is the people and the planet. Their attempts to undermine this policy are dangerous.
5. Canada needs a Just Transition strategy that leaves no one behind, by rapidly winding down fossil fuels building strong, sustainable communities for everyone, creating millions of decent, low-carbon jobs and respecting Indigenous rights and sovereignty
It has never been more critical to take bold climate action. Canada has failed to meet every climate target it has ever set — this is a chance to change that. This will be a defining moment for Justin Trudeau’s legacy on climate action.
I implore this government to resist the attempts by the oil and gas industry to undermine this policy. The future of our communities and the planet is at stake — please implement an ambitious and effective emissions cap policy.
Sincerely,
Christopher Lloyd h2s2c5
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- ° Chris Lloyd
- ° 514 295-3048
- ° chris lloyd projects
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Sep 12, 2022, 3:24 PM subject 119 – — – 1209
Dear Justin,
We had a pretty chill weekend, watched some movies and hosted Oona for a sleepover. The girls went shopping but Rose didn’t find any shorts her size. She is very particular about clothing. I watched a couple good horror movies with Rose, the reboot of Candyman which was pretty damn good, and a movie that reminded me of Misery, about a mother that keeps her teenage daughter dependent on her, I can’t remember what it was called but it was ok as well. Also watched the Rise of Gru which I think was a totally unnecessary prequel. I slept in Ramsay on Saturday night as we had a shortage of beds and I sleep so well there it convinces me that I need a new mattress. My poor back! I’m back at Vox to tie up some loose ends before meeting Isiah to give him the keys and then to drive way out east somewhere near Langelier to dispute a parking ticket. Wish me luck! Or don’t. What do you think your chances are against Pierre? I guess we’ve got at least another couple years before we find out for sure. OK I’m done my little tasks here and I’m of to run a few more errands before flying out tomorrow morning. Exciting!
—
- ° Chris Lloyd
- ° 514 295-3048
- ° chris lloyd projects
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Sep 20, 2022, 2:56 AM subject 121 – —- – 1809
Dear Justin,
Having a little rest before starting my shift. I’ve been splitting wood most of the day and helped out with dishes over lunch as Jess was solo and was scheduled for a plant walk at 2:30. I didn’t sleep well, head full of anxiety and disruptive intrusive thoughts about: death, ecological disasters, relationships with parents and children, that sort of thing. I kept waking up to re-start the fire, and thinking over and over that I should go to camp. The Gidimt’en camp, out in Wet’suwet’en territory, is where I think I need to be. I need to do more, but maybe learning some skills here will help. First things first, I need a power nap.
Enough is Enough!
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Sep 20, 2022, 3:11 AM subject 122 – —- – 1909
Dear Justin,
My 6-hour volunteer shift turned into a 12-hour paid shift since Forest became sick, and Cam was still sick as well, so the Lodge was short-staffed. They’re paying me $200 for yesterday and $200 for tomorrow. Then back to regular volunteer hours. But tonight as Jess was about to start her night shift she saw the lights and we woke up everyone who wanted to be woken up although many guests were still awake as it was just shy of 11pm, which is a bit early for the lights. Anyway she suggested I get my goalie gear on and so I did and we took some great shots, her camera phone is really good. The Lights were fantastic, really something amazing to see. They changed so much over the course of about an hour. Anyway I’m off to bed I work 9-9 tomorrow.
-chris
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Sep 21, 2022, 2:31 AM subject 123 – —- – 2009
Dear Justin,
Today I jumped inside one of the two water storage tanks as we were draining and cleaning the lines. Jump is not the right word, I had to wriggle myself into a small round opening at the top. We had to scrub down the insides with bleach. There were no respirators or goggles available, and only one glove. I spilled half the cleaning mixture on myself trying to get it into the tank which created a really cool pattern on my black T-shirt, but also increased the intensity of the fumes. My eyes and nose were running constantly and I had to come up for air quite frequently. When it was finished I took off the 2 garbage bag legs we’d made and jumped in the lake 3 times, even though the water was so cold I just needed to get the bleach out. I’m pretty sure this procedure would not pass mustard with any labour board in the country. All part of a fun-filled 12-hour day. I also washed dishes, painted over graffiti (or murals of questionable taste) in an overflow cabin, and made and installed a wire frame under the cracked glass skylight in the sauna. There is a fear that the glass may break further and pieces will fall on guests below. Another problem solved with a band-aide. Jess is on Aurora watch until 3, the lights are on but faint and not really worth waking guests up for, at least not now, at 12:30 time of writing. It could change, the predictions are often not accurate. It is really clear tonight and the stars so bright, even the Milky Way is visible.
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Sep 24, 2022, 3:51 AM subject 124 – —- – 2309
Dear Justin,
I am still alive. Tired but happy. Working 12-hour days which today was more like 16 since I was hanging out with Jess, her split shift starts at 11. I was peeling garlic. Lights not spectacular tonight but they were exceptional last night. Yesterday was our day off and we hiked to Carldrey lookout and shot some Everyday Goalie videos and pictures. It was maybe too long a hike to be carrying that gear what with my back the way it is but what price art? Also we are now planning to have our wedding here – 30 guests max. And also plan to work the freeze up, which means asking my Ex if I can take the kids out of school mid-October until Christmas break to come with me, otherwise she looks after them alone and I pay her my share of the baby bonus or whatever we call those payments. It might be easier on everyone if only one of them comes, hard to say who would appreciate it more, Rose or Sol. What has become more and more clear for me during my stay here is that I much prefer living and working this way than being in the city. I could go on and on about the particular issues and challenges facing this Lodge but ultimately I want a life for myself and my kids that is beyond what a limited and restrictive public school system can offer. What time is it? Adventure Time!
Sent with positive vibes from my super-duper hand-held computing device.
from chris lloyd to pm@pm.gc.ca
date Sep 27, 2022, 10:11 AM subject 125 – — – 2709
Dear Justin,
I am back in Montreal. What a disastrous flight from Calgary! I had a 4-hour layover and drank too much wine, thinking it might help me sleep. I did manage to sleep a bit, but also had to run to the loo three times to vomit. Twice it ended up in my mask. Lucky for me I had just enough extras to get me through the flight. Came home and napped and then showered and suddenly Rose was home. I was struggling to get the house straightened up and I’m still struggling with the mess and noise and yuckiness of the city in general. Went to pick up Sol and had a long conversation with my Ex about Rose in school, she is already concerned that Rose has been anxious and finding the move to high school difficult, she is not opposed to me taking the kids to Blachford for 2 months if I handle the school requirements – all that stuff stresses me out. We’re negotiating salary at the moment with the Lodge about Jess and I doing the Freeze up, it might not be financially wise for us to go on one salary – they were only planning to hire 2 people and Cam is the other. He’s been working at the Lodge off and on for the past ten years – he started as a fishing guide when he was only 14. He had to shoot a bear last year that kept coming up on the property. Jess made a spell and drew a line of salt on one of the trails to keep the bear out this fall, it seemed to work because well no bear. Cam did shoot a couple grouse that had been hanging about which pissed David the manager off because, as he put it, they were ruining the natural beauty of the place, needlessly because even though the birds would be eaten Cam wasn’t starving and didn’t need to kill the birds. Anyway my second coffee is kicking in, I’ve made tentative plans with SRoberts to do her closet reno this week – removing an interior closet wall laced with asbestos to create one large walk-in closet. Alos have a furniture build for Pascal, another wall demo/reno project next week, and Vox work. All of which might get bumped or might not, all depends on the Lodge now. I like to work, I just don’t like to work in the city, if I can help it.
—
- ° Chris Lloyd
- ° 514 295-3048
- ° chris lloyd projects
DEAR PM 